Moving Forward Series Part 04 Everything Changes
by OtherMeWriter
Summary: Rose and Verity make choices that will change both their life and the life of the Doctor forever. Their relationship will have to change yet again, will they be able manage the changes or will Chaos win the game. Starting at the episode Bad Wolf,
1. Bad Wolf

Part 04 - Everything Changes (Bad Wolf - Doomsday) Part 04 - Everything Changes (Bad Wolf - Doomsday) Chapter 01 - Bad Wolf

I have to get to her, I'm not sure what they have done or where they have taken her but I do know that somewhere in this nightmare Rose is fighting for her life. I can't lose her, not again. I came so close to losing her on Woman Wept and each time we have been separated it seems to get worse. The drug induced vision the Essarrians had convinced me was Rose's body mangled at my hands and seeing her headless animated body in Earth's prehistory still compete for time in my nightmares with the Time War making those rare times when I try to sleep all the more horrific. The thought of her in one of these horrible games, not knowing where she is or how she has got there, makes my skin crawl.

I'm not exactly sure when her presence has become almost as necessary as breathing but the events on the shopping planet Illupodifettoso showed me I need her in a ways that I never have needed anyone other than Verity before; losing her is not an acceptable option. I will find both of them if it means tearing the place apart by hand. I have to find Rose first, though, as she is the one with the least defenses.

The terminal I am working on isn't responding and try as I might I can feel the panic rising as I know that her life depends on me finding her and soon. In utter frustration, I begin swearing under my breath in Gallifreyan; that act brings it's own pang – only Verity would know what I am saying and she isn't around to object. Part of me actually hopes she does object then I would at least know that she is safe. She just can't be lost to me - I would know it if she was really gone, but I just can't sense her and that by it self is very disturbing. Not too many things can prevent a TARDIS from talking with their Time Lord bond mate if they want to talk; a chill travels down my spine as I realize that the Essarrians had been able to shield her from me before and my stress rises with the knowledge and the fear that it might be happening again. I've got to focus on finding Rose; she's just a fragile human despite the incredible courage and spirit that frequently makes her my match. Verity is more than able to take care of herself, I know that, and I have to focus on finding Rose before the universe decides to take her from me; I don't know if I could take losing her, she's the one being who has made my darkness retreat, who has brought light and joy back to my existence and even Verity as much as she has tried couldn't do that.

Jack is saying something, whatever it is it has to wait. Finding my Rose is more important right now. Jack's quip about the games not turning out well just makes me snarl in frustration at him for stating the obvious, his response is to throw me his vortex manipulator stating, "Patch that in, it's programmed to find her". When it can't locate her, I give up on the more delicate approach and rip the side off the control panel. What I find worries me; this system is wrong; it's twice as complicated as it needs to be and it is slowing down my efforts to find Rose. Rage burns within me - this is completely unacceptable and someone is going to answer for this charnel house. I mean to find out once and for all why the words Bad Wolf in a variety of forms keep showing up, almost as if they have been following us. I can't help but to think aloud, "This whole Bad Wolf thing is tied up with me. Someone is manipulating my entire life and it is some sort of trap and Rose is stuck inside it." My hearts skip a beat as the device registers Rose's location; "Found her Floor 407!" As Lynda tells me what Rose is caught up in, I move to the elevators at a speed that forces Jack and Lynda with a 'y' to have to run to catch up with me. The doors are already closing as they arrive and I impatiently hold them open a moment longer for them to enter. I can't help but stare at the numbers flying along - I have accelerated the lift to make it go faster but it does nothing for the anxiety that keeps increasing as I imagine what may be happening to Rose as I am trapped in here unable to help her. Even knowing that the lift is moving faster then normal it still feels like it is crawling its way up the central hub of the station far too slowly. Every minute counts in finding her and I don't know what I will do if I'm not in time. Finally we arrive at floor 407 where the small device in my hand has assured me I will find Rose and I caress it lovingly like a talisman that will keep away evil from her.

In frustration I begin to decode the lock, behind which it says my beautiful Rose is captive. I reject Jack's offer to blast the door, having already determined that it will just cause the system to throw up a force field to replace the doors, further barring our progress. With a flourish, I finally force the doors to unlock. As the doors open my hearts leap for joy as I spot Rose standing at one of the podiums in front of an android asking questions. She's there; my brilliant Rose has found a way to survive in this hostile environment.

Then the android vaporizes her.

My legs fail me and I crumple before the small pile of ash that is all that is left of my sweet Rose. She too has now become ash, like all the other things I have ever loved and cherished, and I can hardly breath for the suffocating feeling of knowing that she is dead because of me. I can practically hear the laughter of Black Guardian in the roar of grief that explodes though me. She's gone. Without Rose here to hold back the darkness it drags me under and I am oblivious and uncaring. Why should I care about the demands, and violent wrenching the guards who have finally arrived give to my arms? Caring is for those who want to live, and it would be kinder if the guard just carried through on the threat to kill me, for what is my life worth without Rose in it to keep the darkness at bay? The universe I live in is not kind.

The pain of losing Rose is far greater than any physical discomfort that they can inflict on me. I am dully aware of a stab of pain in my right shoulder as the guard twists my arm just a bit more, trying to get some reaction from me as he drags me to my feet. Somewhere far away I hear Jack's protests at my rough treatment but the pain in my body doesn't come anywhere close to being sufficient to break through the nightmarish looping vision of Rose's death repeating and the knowledge that I have failed her and the price of that failure was her life.

Jack's words finally filter though my shock as they drag us from the game room and his simple question snaps everything into an almost surreal clarity. Such a simple question, "Are we going to make them pay for killing Rose or are you going to let them get away with her murder?" The look I give Jack makes my roiling righteous anger abundantly clear. I will bide my time, learn as much as I can, and at just the right moment I will act and they will live only long enough to regret their actions. The guards hustle us off and I push a small simple message into Jack's mind, "Be ready". I know by the look in Jack's eyes and the ever so slight nod that he has heard my instruction.

The guards bully us and process us through their system, confused as to why they can't find any records of how we arrived on the station. All the time I continue in an act of appearing too grief stricken to do anything other than mindlessly follow the guards directions. It is not hard, but there is also my desire for vengeance and I permit that to shunt the grief to the side, allowing me enough respite from the pain to plan, to examine my environment and to figure out their destruction. As the guard outlines what he believes is our fate he is oblivious to the deadly churning anger simmering just below the façade I have put up. When the guard turns to leave I have seen enough and utter the three little words that I know will seal their fate; "Let's do it." In response Jack acts and the guard closest to him crumples to the floor. The more senior guard silently crumples at my hand and I hardly slow as I move out the door.

Having used only the briefest of contact I have extracted part of my vengeance, anger fueling the speed of my actions as I ripped the information I desired from the man's mind. I learn every bit of information the guard knows on how this place operates and its every security measure. I restrain myself enough that the guard will live, even though he doesn't deserve it, he lives because I know Rose would have been angry with me if I killed him. I am sure he won't appreciate that; none of them understood how wonderful my Rose was, it's with much bitterness I know that no one else ever will again. My only consolation is that for a good long while he will wish he didn't survive as I was in no way gentle rummaging through his mind, it's not enough but that's all I have now.

As we head out the door I don't think as I snatch up the gun Jack had brandished earlier. It doesn't take us long to get to the control room and even as we exit the lift I feel the familiar hum of Verity in my mind and a moment later her disapproval as she reads what I have done to the guard, followed rapidly by bewildered alarm as she registers my grief and its cause; I don't have time to consider why she is so confused. I also refuse to make time for her feelings of compassion as she warms me of the guards converging on our location. I snap orders to Jack and begin to grill the staff to try to find out who or what has caused this disaster and what they have to do with Bad Wolf. As the flunky I am speaking to tells me the controller can't answer my questions, I realize with horror that I am still holding the gun I had come in here with and throw it at him in disgust more with myself the with him for allowing my self to stoop so low.

As I continue to speak to the staff, I let Jack know where to find Verity and send him to go work with her as I try to get more info from the systems of Satellite 5. Suddenly solar flares shut down a large portion of the systems and I continue to work through the electronic structure to try to hunt down the information I seek. Someone is going to pay and pay just as dearly as the loss of Rose will cost me. The Controller then begins to speak in riddles and I know that something is terribly wrong and something truly evil is lurking, hiding behind the broadcasts of the Satellite. I want to scream in frustration as the solar flare ends and I am left with more questions than answers, a sudden blindness around the events to come, the likes of which I rarely see, sends an icy chill down my spine.

As Jack comes running back into the control room, I can't help but wonder what it all means. As he begins to speak what he is saying doesn't make sense. I watch as this man I who I had thought I knew, who I had begun to trust with my life, more importantly with Rose's life, suddenly vaporizes the young woman who I had less than two hours ago promised to save. I can't help but blurt out in furious disbelief, "You killed her!"

Before I can act, he chirps in delight, "You think?" and triggers yet another command on the console in front of him and Lynda with a 'Y' comes staggering out of another beam of light at my side. As the import of that action registers I barely realize what Jack is saying, till I hear the sweetest words I have heard as long as I can remember. "Rose is alive!"

As I cancel the signal Satellite 5 has been sending I stare in horror as I realize what I am seeing. Cold terror settles around my hearts. Daleks! My brain is already processing how many even as my conscious mind overcomes the shock of seeing my worst enemy has survived. They have not just survived, but mutilated the only planetary home I have left in their ruthless pursuits, and on top of that they now have my Rose. My desire to save Rose wars with the desire to run as far and a fast as possible away from my worst nightmares once again come to life before my eyes. Part of me begins to shut down my emotions, icing them over to protect me from the knowledge of what may have to happen to try to stop them once again, and walling away the sense of futility that screams that my people died for nothing.

As they appear on the view screen, I brace myself as a surge of panic almost chokes me and shrug my jacket tighter about me, taking small comfort in its shelter, never letting them see how their presence fills me with anguish. I finish locking off the feelings that threaten to swamp me, sealing them away, and slip into the mask of pointless frivolousness I wear in front of Daleks, the mask that hides my true feelings and has so often been useful in confusing my true intentions. I feel a short-lived flood of relief as I see Rose alive. I listen to their boasting of their plans almost being complete and how they think holding Rose hostage will prevent me from doing what needs to be done to stop them. As much as my emotions scream in denial, I know I can't trade one life, not even Rose's, for the lives of everyone on the earth but I want to. I have to find another way and the word "No" slips from my lips before I even consciously register its escape. Then the words are flowing from me, my desires and hopes stated as a concrete plan, as I have done in the past to confuse these monsters. I have no idea how I am going to execute the plan I am speaking, but I know that if I don't know then neither do they and my past successes have shown them how greatly they should fear me, however impossible my plans seem. Their logic has more than once caused them to make mistakes, trying to guess what I am thinking, and part of me is counting on that fact as I mentally scramble through the resources I have at my disposal to make my seemingly impossible plan into a reality.


	2. Separation & Remembrance

Chapter 02 - Separation & Remembrance Chapter 02 - Separation & Remembrance

I can't believe I am going to die like this, pointlessly in a horrific version of a game show gone wrong. I can't believe that the Doctor won't find me. So many times we have come so close to losing each other. All I can think is that I have to find the Doctor, that he will wake me from this nightmare. Then suddenly he is there and all I can think of is how he will die if I can't make him realize how much a danger he is in from the android killing machine running this game. I am running for him, knowing his life depends on his understanding and disabling the robot. Then he's gone and all I know is darkness.

I wake to a cold floor, unsure what has happened or how I got here, only knowing that once again I am waking someplace far away from something very important to me. As I see the Dalek roll toward me I know that, however I got here, things have just gotten worse in a million different ways and the memories of Utah and Van Staten's house of horrors floods into my mind. Following hard on the heels of those thoughts are the images of the gutted expression on the face of my gentle Doctor and him facing me with that huge gun in his hands, knowing that these are the creatures that created that level of grief in the man I love more than everything.

I stand in shock as I watch not one but hundreds, maybe thousands, of these monsters rolling and flying around me, and terror wells up within me, a terror mixed with confusion as to why they haven't killed me. Not that I am ungrateful, but considering how heartless the Dalek we had met in Utah was I have to wonder why. Even as the thought occurs to me an odd looking young woman appears almost directly in front of me babbling about the Doctor and how she has brought their destruction. Before I can even begin to ask her about him I hear the sound I had been dreading since I awoke and watch as yet another is added to the death toll these creatures have amassed. I stand stunned, as I know exactly why it is they have kept me alive and I cringe knowing that I am to be used either as bait or a bargaining tool and steel myself to do what I must to keep my precious Doctor safe, even if it means my own death. Before I can consider this turn of events I see him appear on a viewer and my heart races in relief at seeing him in spite of what I expect to be the outcome of this conversation.

I feel both thrilled and crushed when he says no to their demand that he submit to their desire to stand aside and let them do what they like with the Earth. I know he can't put me before all of the Earth but I also know that his refusal is my death sentence. I should be happy that I can't be used against him that way but after him choosing to share with me his name which he said he has given no other in centuries, after what happened on the shopping planet and everything we have been through, there is a part of me that hoped that he would at least fight for my survival a bit instead of so quickly answering in such a cold, heartless, sounding tone as he reiterated my death sentence.

What? My heart fills almost to bursting as I listen to him outline a plan for my rescue and their destruction. I don't know how, don't know what he will do to accomplish his words, but I do know that if anyone can it will be him. He is my Doctor, and if he says he can do it he will and my heart soars even in the face of the hoards of Daleks surrounding me.

I stand in shocked disbelief; he is sending me back to my mum's, after everything we have been through, he is sending me back. How dare he make this decision for me? How could he send me away? The thought rages around and around in my head as his image appears telling me some canned message about how if I am seeing this message he is either dying or dead. I still can't believe he has lied to me, how could he really be dying and think I would want to be anywhere than at his side? He's pushed me away when he needs me most, how could he do this? He promised he would never send away, that he wouldn't make me leave. I almost jump when the words of the hologram echo my current thoughts.

"Rose, I'm sure you're very mad at me right now, thinking I lied to you, but if you are seeing this, it truly is the only way I could think of to ensure that you lived." He is my life, how can he think sending me away would be something I want? How does he expect me to live without him? "You have become more important to me than my own life, you're the reason I was able to get up each morning able to face another day and this is the only gift I can give you now." Do you really think I would want that with out you? "I know I don't really have the right to ask anything more from you," No you don't you stupid Time Lord git! "You have given me so much already by just being part of my life, but please know how much I loved you Rose." How dare you finally tell me you love me now when I can't tell you how much I love you back! "All I ask is that you do this one last thing for me. Have a fantastic life; it's all I ever wanted for you." How can you not understand you are my fantastic life?

His next words though surprise me almost as much his last. "Verity, I am truly sorry. I have tried, I really have. I am sorry to have deceived you as well but I know if you had known I was recording this message you would have figured out by now a way to get back to me in spite of me wanting you safely away from whatever danger that has or will shortly kill me. Please don't try to return. I have locked the coordinates so you can't come back to the time and place from which I have just sent you. After all this time we have been together I hope you know how much you meant to me. If there were any other way I would never have made you go. I know you know better than anyone how dangerous you would be in the wrong hands. Because of this, on this control card is the means to execute a permanent shutdown, which will ensure that no one will be able to take advantage of your technology and will ensure also that, once executed, there will be nothing left of use to anyone. I hope that you will never have to… never want to use this program but I couldn't make you leave and not give you the means to escape that I had myself once taken. Please take care of yourself and Rose and I hope you both can eventually forgive me."

I can't help the sob that breaks from my throat as the full import of the Doctor's words sink in. As they do, I realize that he has just handed Verity a means and permission to commit suicide. I don't know what disturbs me more, that he has offered Verity that course of action or that he has at one other time attempted to end his life. I have known since that first trip he has suffered greatly because of the war, so the news doesn't particularly surprise me, it just hurts my heart, as it drives home again exactly how bad things had gotten before we met and just how much he needs me with him now.

As it sinks in even more what has occurred, my legs suddenly don't want to support me and I crumple into the console and slide to the floor, heedless of the metal grid of which it is made. I reach out a hand to Verity's central control column, knowing instinctively that she will understand my devastation, and I sense a grief deeper than I have ever felt before from the TARDIS. For long minutes I sit there caressing the coral surface until a soft thump announces our arrival at the Powell estates. Moments later Verity opens the door to Mickey and my mum who come rushing in to find me sitting on the floor, unable to find the desire to go to them.

--

I watch as Theta speaks to me as one already dead and know that if there were anytime he needed me it was surely now. His words of love and his gift, I refuse to think of as his final gift to me, speak more clearly than anything else of his depth of feelings for me and that no price is to big for me to pay to save him.

The pain and sadness that seems to flow from his image is disconcerting but I remind myself that we have survived this far and I refuse to give up. From that first moment we had arrived on the game station all the time lines had vanished from my perceptions and that in itself was enough to terrify me being able to see time streams is as natural for a TARDIS as breathing was for humanoids and the power to isolate me like that I knew had to be incredible. All I could see from my external monitors had been the walls of a white closet like room. I had never felt so blind before and knew that this must be the turning point of which the Guardian had spoken. That being decided, it was time to figure out exactly what it was that I had do and so I had began scanning my memory for anything that might give me a clue as to what to do next. As Theta and Jack had entered the next room a score of timelines had burst into my senses and each passing moment after more and more had appeared and I was horrified at the sheer number of ways in which my Theta could die permanently in the next few hours. Every single path that didn't lead to his destruction had lead me here, had led Rose and I here.

As Rose's mum gently coaxes her out in the sun, leaving me behind, I finally find that for which I have been searching all this time; I close the door as new memories of my meeting right after the war with the White Guardian surge to the surface of my mind. I now realize I had remembered the first part clearly and the time after he removed his hands from my console but the time in between had been a pleasurable haze that I had, in this intervening time, assumed to be caused by the intense relief coming from his healing the injuries I had sustained in the war and the need for him to make some changes so I would be able to help Theta through the future crisis of which he had spoken. Now I am remembering the rest of our conversation.

Flashback:

"Verity?"

"Yes," I hum back to him in lazy pleasured relief as he has begun to heal my body.

"Verity you will not remember this till the time is right, and it is very important you do not attempt to remember this part of our conversation till then."

More curious than concerned I query, "Why?"

"Because you must make a very difficult decision and you need to make it with your mind clear and in full knowledge of the consequences of what you will be agreeing. I will bring you to someone who will be just what you and Doctor both need. Soon I will take you to Alistair as you desired and he will help the Doctor and you get though the initial trauma of the war. It will not be any easy time for any of you but the path to saving the Doctor at this time is a very narrow one."

I take in that information and am concerned at how serious the Guardian sounds and the way he is speaking about it as if Theta's survival will strictly depended on my actions. I am no stranger to getting my Theta out of trouble but always before there have been so many other paths connected to his life that it never has occurred to me that it could come down to only my actions… No that's not true I had seen how as each day had passed these last few years it has seemed he has had less and less options. I have watched in horror as the paths of his life in the last days of the war have dwindled to only to a very few patterns. The sheer numbers of the paths that lead to his permanent death have well and truly scared me. But there were a few, enough to give me hope, but all of them in which he survived had led to his regeneration and in none of has he been able to avoid regeneration so I had resigned myself somewhat to the fact that he would be changing again in one way or another. The thing that terrified me more was that all of those paths where he survived lead to him being the almost complete destroyer of three species. All other paths had lead to the Daleks winning and that was something neither of us would allow and so I had refused to look at those lines too closely. I had focused on working to make sure, those variables I could influence were tipped toward those paths where he could at least survive in some form. Though in these last few months the paths for the other time lords and my own people have eventually gotten to the point where I couldn't bear to look at them at all. Lost in my own thoughts I almost missed his next words.

"In a few months time you will intercept a signal from an alien that will destroy Earth if they are not stopped. It will be up to you and the Doctor to stop them. As you seek to locate and eliminate that threat to Earth you and the Doctor will meet a young human who will be the key his survival. There will come a time when the only way to save his life will be for you to join forces with this human, for he will have taken actions to protect you both that only through working together will you be able to get past. It is important that this companion come along, I will trust you to take what actions you need to so to ensure that they join you."

"As this companion travels with you, you will need to get to know them because for the Doctor to survive it will be necessary for you and this young human to merge to become one, being neither TARDIS nor human…"

At this I nearly baulk; I am the last of my kind how can he ask me to do that?

"…But a powerful synergy of both. You must know this companion well enough to make the decision as to whether you will be willing to spend all the rest of your days joined with this being without the undue influence of knowing this going into the situation. For once the action is taken, they will forever be a part of you and even I will be unable to change that decision or undo that joining. You must prepare yourself to be partially human to be able to understand what it means to be human enough that you will be able to merge your consciousness with theirs. I am making changes to your structure, your circuits and memory and I am upgrading your base abilities to that of a TARDIS type 102."

You're doing what? That isn't possible is it? Even as he is speaking though I can feel things changing.

"From this day forward you will be able to do the things that you saw Compassion was capable of doing. All of these things will be needed if you are to successfully join with this human and save the Doctor. When that time comes they must want this joining as much as you do or the merging will fail and all of you will be lost."

End flashback

I remember now his final words; "Verity as you are now remembering this conversation the time we spoke of has now come. If she returns to you it will be because she has decided that she cannot continue the life she had before she met you and the Doctor. You must test her determination to see him saved because in that action she will show you how to accomplish the joining and so you cannot let her have the access she seeks immediately. If and when you feel in her a resolve that nothing will stop her from returning to him, then and only then tell her of what must happen. By then she will have shown you the way to implement your joining. Explain to her the consequences, for they will be many, not just for you but for her as well. She will no longer be the least bit physically human and the sole base to her humanity will be in how she thinks. If she still agrees then implement her plan. Be aware, the forces you release to her disposal will destroy her human body and you will need to immediately work together to build her consciousness a suitable home. Even though your minds will begin merging, it will be imperative you rebuild for her a body for this to work. It will have to be Gallifreyan as even a new human body would be quickly consumed by the constant strain your joined mind will put on both of your physical forms. I have placed in your data banks all of the genetic information you will need to create this new body the two of you will share."

I clearly remember now protesting that I didn't have that kind of power, and the mischievous smile he gave me that made me think of the elfin king Oberon in an earth story Theta had showed me once as he replied.

"At that time you will have all the power you need to make it happen." I shiver again at the thought of the kind of power it would take to make something like that happen and at his final warning, "Remember though, from that point forward your three fates will rest with the decisions you and she make together that day and only together will you be able to circumvent the blocks the Doctor will put in place to prevent your return. Now sleep Verity, rest, he will need you very much when you awake."


	3. Choices

Chapter 03 - Choices Chapter 03 - Choices

I had slept then and consciously remembered none of that conversation till now. I am not given time to consider his words any more as Rose comes flying back in to my console room. "Verity you have to take me back! There just has to be some way to make it happen. Please Verity, tell me you have thought of something."

Her cry cuts me to the quick, and wish I had better news, 'Rose I don't know how!' I have been searching, and in spite of my wool gathering I have yet to find a way around the proliferation of locks that he had put in place to keep us from returning to him. Not just to keep her, but to keep us, for she knew now that it would require them both even as the Guardian had told her. 'You know how clever Theta is, he seems to have thought of every thing I could do on my own to get back to him.'

"But there has to be a way! We can't just let him die! What about what you did with the Slitheen? You know if you open up?" She raps her knuckles on the area of my console that I had opened in Cardiff.

'Rose you don't know what you're asking…'

"I'm asking you to help me save our Doctor! How can you not want to do that?"

Those words make me mad. 'Rose, I want to save Theta more than anything! He means everything to me but if I were to open to give you what you ask… if I were to do as you ask, it would kill you, it would expose you to far more power than any human is ever meant to be in contact with, you would die Rose.' If I were humanoid I would be holding my breath, her next words will tell me what I need to know.

"But would it save him?" Rose asks, terrified I will say no. "It would be worth dying if it would save him, don't you understand? My life isn't worth living if I don't have him in it and the universe needs him not me."

For the briefest moment I am terrified as I feel exactly how much she means those words and I know without reservation that I feel the same. I don't know whether to be horrified at how little her life means to her or overjoyed that she is willing to die for him, because that is exactly the price it will cost, both of our lives as we know them.

'There is a way...' Suddenly I am very scared 'but it will cost us both dearly...' Before I can say anything more she is agreeing, "Yes, whatever it is it would be worth it"

'Rose, if we survive it would mean you would no longer be human...'

I feel fear roll over her for a moment before she squashes it down and asks, "What would I become?" Visions of species we have met in our travels flit through her mind each one becoming less humanoid then the last.

'You would become a combination of two species; you would be part Gallifreyan and,' I feel rush of relief from her, 'and part TARDIS.' then I feel her confusion.

"H-h-how does that work?" she stutters as she asks, fighting her fear as she states, "Would I suddenly turn into a blue police box?"

Fear surges through me at her words but I force myself to continue quickly 'yes and no, you and I would have to merge.' I hurry to assure her, 'You would have a body like you do now, we may even be able to make it look like you do currently, but it would be Gallifreyan, there would no longer be any human genes, they won't be able to survive...' she interrupts and for a moment I am confused at her excitement, "So I would be like the Doctor?"

'You would still be a female, but yes you would be the same species as he is... mostly.'

She echoes my last word aloud, "Mostly?"

'Physically you would be mostly Gallifreyan, but there will be no way for you not to have some of me too, this joining goes only one way there will be no separating. 'We would become one being living in two bodies and how much mental separation we will have… I just don't know. But I do know there will be no going back to being fully separate people.'

She gets very quiet for a moment. I have known and accepted this unconsciously; I knew almost from the beginning I would do this, from the time the Guardian had spoken to me of this merger. Theta has lost too much and I had no intentions then nor I do now of letting him lose anything more if it is in my power protect him. Rose though has had to come to terms with all of this in minutes and we don't have much time to make this decision as I can feel the number of possible threads of Theta's life growing smaller all the time. Her next words floor me. "Are you okay with this? This isn't just my choice, you're going to have to live with it as much as I am." With those words I know that I can share my life with this young one and I open my heart to her and show her exactly how much I want this, want to share with her the love we both hold for this man.

I can't believe they came back, how could they do this?

I hurt, but for Rose's sake I can't let go, the fire of the vortex burns me and yet pull as I might I can't get it to release its hold on her. I struggle not to panic, but I know her time is running out. I have only been able to draw off the smallest fraction of the energy that is within her, consuming her and it is already burning like acid lungs, in my veins. When I had lost sight of Rose moments ago she had been in obvious pain and when the intense energy blast had enveloped and shrouded her from my sight I was convinced that it would be the last I ever saw of her. When she reemerged, seemingly unharmed, I had rejoiced until I realized that she still held within her the full power of the Vortex the pain has vanished from her expression and I plead with any deity that might listen that it isn't because she is too far gone to feel the burning. I try to draw closer, why does she keep fighting me? What is she doing? "Rose? Please you need to let it go!" The smile she gives me is eerie and crackling with energy which me chills me to the core in spite of the burning in my mind and veins at being exposed like this to the raw energy of the Vortex. I loosen my grasp fractionally on her arms as I feel the skin on my hands blistering where I hold her and I can't believe my eyes as she calmly turns and releases the energy to TARDIS. When part of the energy sweeps sideways swirling and enveloping me in tendrils of light, I feel the drain as those tendrils flicker across my skin. They draw the small bit of the deadly energy I had absorbed from me with a strange sucking sensation that hurts and yet at the same time is like a cooling balm, before it too returns to the core of the TARDIS. I don't know yet if this will force me into regeneration but I do know, based on the painful burning echoing throughout my body, that if it doesn't I am going to miserable for a time. I stand, stunned, for a moment becoming more aware of the extent of the damage done as nerves, which had been overwhelmed, start to scream, I feel ill and I stagger as I feel the last of residue drawn from my body. Yet as I see Rose slump into unconsciousness I move quicker than I thought I could to prevent her fall. It does not come without a cost as I feel my knees buckle as I take her weight, but I know I have to get her someplace safer than here. I close my eyes for a moment, fighting the dizzy sensation and the swirling confusion that my senses have become. I'm not going to make it back to twenty-first century Earth if I don't move now so I force myself to get up, to pick her up and bring her into the TARDIS. I have to get her home to her mother. All of the timelines are a swirling mess that makes me stagger like a drunkard as my other senses try to compensate for those that are not functioning correctly. I can't tell as yet how this how this is going to turn out but I do know that consciousness won't stay with me too much longer as I can already feel my body fighting my demands to function.

I shake my head, trying to get my senses to clear a bit, but all I get is a static scramble of sensations and mixed images of which I can make no sense as my as my extended senses are still too jumbled and confused. I have to keep blinking to keep my eyes in focus and I know I am losing the battle as each time it is taking longer for my sight to clear. As I move about the console the pain is getting progressively worse, my muscles and joints ache and my lungs feel leaden and increasingly constricted but I have to get Rose to safety I cannot let the pain deter me, not after what she has done to protect me. I think the pain is leveling off though it's hard to tell yet; I am beginning to suspect I won't be regenerating. Small consolation that, as I realize that I will be paying for my actions trying to save Rose regardless of if they have been successful. I can't lose her. I have to get her to safety; fear tries to immobilize me in what ifs in the face of being blind to the possible future threads I normally have surrounding me. I feel an incredible wave of relief as I hear Rose begin to stir. Her moans seem to be expressing confusion more than pain, and I can't help but feel thankful, but why has she not made any attempt to get up? I suspect I'm not going to make it back to the estate conscious but I have to keep trying. No, I have to! I can't fail her now! 'Please Verity if you have ever listened to me please just this once take us where she can be safe. I don't think I can hold on much longer; and she needs someone to make sure she is okay I won't be able to say conscious that much longer Jackie will take care of her, so please?' The silence scares me as I am not even sure if she is hearing me at this point but I have to try, have to keep trying to make sure Rose is safe regardless of what happens to me. 'I'm sorry for sending you away but please Verity talk to me!' Silence. 'Okay I get it your mad but please don't take it out on Rose. You know Jackie will care for her even if I can't so please just take her home.'

The throbbing in my head is increasing again; I can barely see straight to move the correct controls. I have to get Rose to safety so that when I pass out she will have someone to care for her. My head gives a vicious spin as I try to catch a glimpse of whether Rose is showing any signs of getting up. I'm torn wanting to go to her to check to make sure she is okay but right now I am doing good to just stay on my feet. If I step away from the controls now I will fall and that I can't risk. Verity seems be struggling to do as I request. Has she even heard my silent pleas? Nothing, I can get no confirmation of a telepathic connection with her to determine her health. Is the fault hers or mine? Rassilion it hurts, the burning seems to be increasing again with my efforts. Could Verity have been affected by the vortex having left her center? Her controls are sluggish and her responses seem almost as delayed as mine. What is that wheezing noise? Please, please, please let her not be injured as well or there is no telling where we will end up. Good, it's not her; it's me, not so good, air is rasping in and out of my lungs telling me of probable damage. The room keeps fading in and out it won't be much longer now, just hope we're close enough. I Taste blood as I bite my tongue as Verity jars off of something and almost lose my grip on the console. Legs so close to buckling now, least we've entered the space-time stream again. Please let us be in the right place. Verity lands hard and I finally lose my grip feeling the sharp bite in my knees as I hit the grill. If only bruised knees were my greatest problem. So dark. What doing? Rose! Need to get Rose safe. Up so far away. Got to do this. Small access door. Handle, pull, up. Organic metal so sharp. Too small surface. Not designed for, help stand. Door, get Rose help. Spinning, everything spinning, feels like Earth. Right mass, so hard to tell. Yes, doors. Black spots quit dancing! Can't they do a proper tango? Need to be closer. Who moved the door? Was it so far before?

As the door opens before him he feels immense relief wash through him as he sees Mickey and Jackie just out side. As his legs begin to collapse he tries to tell them to look to Rose though all that he realizes he has said before blackness completely overwhelms him is, "Rose".


	4. Homecoming

Part 04 - Chapter 04 - Homecoming

A/N: Due to the death of a much-loved immediate family member due to cancer this chapter has been much delayed in posting. I thank each and everyone of you who has patiently waited for me to continue and I will be posting one to two chapters a week until I have caught this site up with my live journal and then from there you will get them on the same weekly schedule or as they are available as RL allows. At this time have written up to chapter 19 in this part so you will be having a steady stream for a bit. Thank you again for your patience, and now on with the tale.

* * *

Jackie and Mickey both exclaim together, "Doctor!" as he tumbles out the door of the TARDIS barely being slowed in his decent as they both grab for his collapsing form.

Mickey looks up at Jackie in the same moment in horror both wondering what has happened and why the only word out of the Doctor's mouth as he collapsed was Rose. Jackie recovers first, pushing the now dead weight of the Doctor's unconscious form fully into Mickey's arms, before turning and running into the interior of the TARDIS shouting, "Rose!" Freezing for a moment as she spots her daughter's form lying next to the console, clamping both her hands over her mouth in terror as she cries out, "Oh Rose, NO!"

Rose, at hearing her mother's voice cry out, we try to coordinate my, her new body enough to reassure her mother she will be okay. But even as when we had felt Theta's panic and pleas as he was working to get us back to Earth there was too much information, too much to take in with all of the sensations pouring in from both our bodies. When Verity had told me what would happen I had known I would do anything to save the Doctor even if that meant dying for him to be able to live. Though even with the warning, even with her caution, I don't know if we, she, no I am going to be able to handle this, everything is different now, so confusing. When the Vortex had been burning through me everything had seemed simple every thing so clear and right and easy. Then had come the burning fiery pain, which had been excruciating for a brief time, as Verity was finishing moving all of my memories over to her. In spite of the fear at knowing my body was burning up from the inside, that I was dying, still everything made sense. For a short time, we watched with completely detached vigilance as finally too much of my human nervous system had failed and my body was finally vaporized by the intensity of the energy I, she, no we had tried to contain in her frail human frame. Despite everything, things were the way they were meant to be. Even as we had finally watched my human body die, from the safety of my place stored in the TARDIS memory banks, everything had seemed right and proper, everything was going as planned. As the threads of vortex energy began to rebuild piece by piece a new Gallifreyan body in which we would reside, in which I could live out our days as the Doctor's physical equal, things had been scary but right. Then everything seemed to go pear shaped as Theta had grabbed us and pulled me into his arms and we felt his desperation to pull the energy from my, our new body, not realizing what was happening, only hoping with every fiber of his being he could save Rose's life by sacrificing his own which is exactly what we were trying to prevent. We had barely stopped the flow of energy outward before it would have caused him to regenerate, knowing with a sickening certainty that he would be sick for days as his body tried to repair the damage caused by the small portion of energy he had snatched from us before we could stop him. We had so wanted to heal him but nothing was working right. The distraction had been enough and everything had began to spiral out of control, the integration which had at first seemed so easy suddenly was becoming very, very difficult and confusing as she, I, no we struggled to figure out who was thinking what and who was to control what parts of each of our bodies and the urge to panic only made things worse. All of my reactions seemed wrong and so for a time, in a state of shock I had tried to do nothing, letting Verity control the TARDIS form I was now joined to as my, no our new Gallifreyan body dropped in and out of consciousness and I bounced back and forth between my two new bodies having trouble trying to figure out where I belonged both seemed wrong at the same time they both felt sort of right too. When my humanoid body was conscious I was desperately trying not to think and confuse us as Verity navigated the vortex. The landing had been bad and the impact against the buildings hurt in a way I couldn't begin to explain but at least we had gotten to almost exactly where and when had wanted between the three of us, a few hours after we left and two days before Christmas. Now though I need to get my act together to keep mum from panicking.

The sudden wave of nausea doesn't help and I desperately wish I could just tell mum to quit rocking her.

"Rose?" Opening my eyes seems so hard; it isn't supposed to be this hard at least Jackie has stopped rocking us.

"What isn't suppose… Rose?" I can feel mum's fear and Jackie's sudden realization that I didn't say anything aloud and sigh with a mixture of relief and frustration. This was not how I intended to tell mum the daughter of her body was dead that I was part Gallifreyan and part TARDIS now, and physically no longer human and very much confused by it all.

"Rose honey your not making any sense you're not dead, you're right here your home now. How are you talking without moving your lips, what did he do to you?"

Her flash of anger at Theta hurts but it seems this is the best I can do right now. 'It's telepathy mum and he didn't do anything to me. I… well I did actually, when I opened up the TARDIS'. Images of the yellow tow truck flash through my mind and everything is suddenly double as I remember those events from both my perspective and Verity's and abruptly I have a raging headache.

"Rose, let me get you an aspirin if your head hurts half as much as…"

'NO!' I shout and I feel mum jerk in pain as I realize what she has just said and a horrific image of a man twisting in what appears to be horrific agony while two Essarrians laugh flashes in my mind the man's face then morphs to my own and then to the Doctor's and I know, but not how I know, that the man was a Gallifreyan and had been poisoned with aspirin and would shortly die unable to regenerate

I hear her gasp as I finally get my eyes open just in time to see mums terrified expression and realize that I wasn't the only one who saw those gruesome images and knew exactly what they meant.

"Jackie? Is Rose okay?" I hear Mickey's voice from the doorway and suddenly realize that he is here too and has laid Theta down inside the doorway I need to get to him and yet I still can't seem to get my body to cooperate.

'Please mum he's hurt!' Need to…' Confusion descends on my thoughts and the headache that had begun surges forward like a tidal wave sweeping me away into darkness.

* * *

"Jackie?" I hear Mickey calling and I don't know what to tell him. First I find Rose lying here seemingly unable to move, and then she starts talking, well sort of, it is like hearing a broadcast through a static filled radio with half the words unintelligible. The rest seemingly nonsense about being dead and not human, well not exactly talking more like thinking at me. What has he done to my daughter? Rose had said before she left that he had told her he was going to die and that was why it was so urgent she get back to him. But what happened when she finally got the TARDIS to move? What happened to them while they were gone, for that matter how long has it been? It's only been a few hours here since she disappeared on her desperate mission to try to save the Doctor. What happened to that fellow Mickey said was traveling with them? Rose had said when we had taken her out to chips trying to calm her down that he had left to try to get them some more time. I can't help looking around wondering if he is lying passed out around here someplace too? I wish she could just tell me what is going on, tell me she is going to be okay. After what she showed me with regard to the aspirin I am afraid to give either of them anything. I can't stop the shiver as I think about the man in the picture she sent that was clear enough as well as the sense of total panic at the idea. I don't know what happened to her but it's obvious that it's poison for 'er now as well as for him.

"Jackie?" Yes, right Mickey still needs some kind of answer and now that he is standing right here maybe he can help with Rose, help me sort out what to do. Mickey has always been good at sorting stuff with Rose, well used to be anyway.

"I'm… I'm not sure. It was like she was talking to me but she wasn't saying anything like instead she was talking directly into my head, showing me pictures. She couldn't do that before and… I don't know she doesn't seem to be able to move, something about her opening the TARDIS. Says himself is hurt though, did you see anything?"

"No, but he does seem rather hot, she told me once that his body temp is lower than ours so don't figure that can be good. But haven't a clue what to do about it maybe if we can get him awake we can get him some sort of paracetamol or aspirin bring down..."

"No! Not aspirin 's poison to him." Looking down at my child I can't help but mumble "her now too, I guess, based on what she showed me." Some how that doesn't seem like enough explanation and I try to explain. "Has a bleeding bad headache she does and she practically shouts me head off when I suggested it. I don't know Mickey. I don't understand any of this; just know that something bad has happened.

"Do you think that Jack fellow is around here someplace too? Maybe he knows what to do for them."

"Not sure, you heard what she said if he's that bad" pointing back to the Doctor's form just in side the door, "not sure Jack would still be…" Mickey stops unwilling to say anything further."

"You don't think he's dead do you?" Jackie asks with of a bit of a tremble in her voice.

Looking between Rose and the Doctor meaningfully Mickey doesn't answer instead he say, "Maybe I should look around just to make sure he's not on board hurt or out like these two."

"We should get someone to help? You know..." unsure he shrugs not sure who they would even call.

"Who Mickey? You have heard the rumors about people getting hurt recently because they've been accused of being aliens. Ever since the thing with Big Ben people have been jumpy"

"Well, maybe those fellows at UNIT he said he used to work for them maybe they can help."

"We can't risk it, we don't know how long ago it was he worked with those chaps. Rose said that the alien experts people had been all killed by the Slitheen what if nobody knows who he is now and what about Rose Mickey? What if somethin's wrong with her, if those Dalek creatures she was talking about hurt her or she's got some alien flu? He's the only one who's going to be able to help her."

"I can take Rose up stairs but what about him? Not sure were gonna be able to get him up there even with both of us. You know how people gossip, us hauling bodies around broad daylight next thing you know well have the Old Bill at the door and that ain't going to help either of 'em.

Both of them jump, as the front door slams shut.


	5. Settling In

Chapter 05 - Settling in

'No!' no, no, no they can't leave him here and haul Rose off to the flat leaving me to wonder in how bad a shape he is.

I won't let them leave him behind and alone. I close the door with a bit more force than I intend and watch the two humans jump. Our Rose body has passed out again and for the moment we are okay with that, as hard as it is to keep things straight it is at least a bit easier that way. At least when it is sleeping there is only the one body we're trying to control and right now it needs the rest.

Have to get through to them and explain as much as I can before Rose wakes again.

'Jackie?' I mentally wince as I see her look up in panic.

'This is not going to be easy.'

Oh well that didn't last.

'Yes Rose I know, but we have to tell them for his sake.'

'Not happy, not easy.'

'Know.'

'She's going to freak.'

'Like we didn't know that? We couldn't let him die!'

'No.'

'Jackie,' I watch as she in panic scans the room protectively curling Rose into her arms.

'Mum don't freak!'

"Rose?" my heart aches as she looks at my body in her arms.

"Jackie, what's going on? She talk'n to you again?" Mickey pipes in to the conversation.

'Can he hear us?'

'If we want him to.'

'Mickey?' we watch as his mouth drops open staring at our Rose form.

"Rose? How'd you do that?" If thing weren't so urgent I would be amused by the gob smacked expression on his face.

'…and I thought Shireen telling her mum she was bi was bad'

"What?" from both Mum and Mickey as they both stare at each other in confusion.

"Shireen's bi?" Mickey mumbles

'Yes, Sorry, off topic there, still trying to get the hang of this telepathy thing.'

'S 'k love what's going on?' the expression on her face is so tender I want to cry.

'I...'

'Well go on she's your mum.'

'Mum, Mickey I, we... the TARDIS and I, we had to do this sharing thing so we could get back to the Doctor in time to save him and well...'

'Go on Rose.'

'Are you normally this pushy? This isn't easy you know!'

'It's not going to help waiting, see.' With that, I show her the closest few timelines. 'See not being a nag.' Then I get a pain in what I trace down to be Rose's head because of the effort. 'That doesn't do that all the time does it? That could get annoying.'

'How should I know?'

'Good point, did the old one?'

'No. Well not often anyway.'

"Rose you still there love?"

'Yeah, we're here. Just you see, well this sharing thing is permanent.'

"What?" they both exclaim looking highly dismayed.

The horrified expression on mum's face as she looks at the still body in her arms makes me want to cry as I realize what she is afraid of, 'I'm going to be fine mum, just it's just a bit confusing right now. Verity, that's the TARDIS's name, she and I are linked and that's how were talking to you.'

"What do you mean by linked, and how permanent are we talking here?" The obvious concern and mistrust painfully clear as I feel the anxiety practically radiating off her.

'Well, you humans are rather noisy.' Verity quips at my stray thought, 'particularly when distressed.

I ignore her and concentrate on replying to mum. 'We are sharing minds and bodies.'

"…And here I was worried when you said you were sleeping with big ears..." Mickey mumbles.

"What!" Mum sputters in outrage.

'Mickey! Not helping here!'

"Rose Marion Tyler you told me you two weren't like that! You said he was better then that! Cradle robbing alien git I ought to..."

I begin to panic as I feel her start to shift me off her lap. 'Mum please! He IS better than that. I wasn't lying to you, things just changed.' I begin to struggle to try to make my body respond the way I want but my coordination is so off and all I do is wind up knocking us both over. Everyone in the room freezes as the Doctor begins to cough violently.

'Mickey Please! Help him! He's only hurt because he thought I was dying and was trying to save me!'

I see with Verity's sensors as Mickey and mum give each other a telling look as they both take it my latest information and Mickey reluctantly moves to the Doctor's side.

"What do you want me to do? I don't know anything about care and tending to of a Time Lord"

'Verity, what are we going to do? You know how...'

'Hush, you need to rest '

'But he...'

'Needs help you can't give him right now and I need to concentrate, so tell them you're going to nap so I can focus on getting him to the med lab and helping him.'

'Verity will tell you what he needs and I am going to sleep to quit confusing her. Please listen to her!'

"But Rose..."

'She sleeping and will be fine Jackie, but she needs the rest and she wouldn't rest till she knew he was going to be cared for, so let's do this. First, he needs to be in the medical area. The door over to Mickey's right will lead you there.'

"But Rose..." Jackie interrupts

'She will be fine right where we are, Jackie, please we need your help, now.' I am not happy! This is all taking way to long and even without the more extensive diagnostic tools in the med lab, it is obvious to me that Theta is in respiratory distress. What other injuries he has sustained I am unsure, but I need him moved and now. Unable to get the humans to move any quicker I watch impatiently as Jackie extricates herself from Rose's body and gently arranges Rose in a comfortable position. As much as we will probably appreciate that moment of kindness later, now it is just additional seconds, in which I don't know how serious Theta's condition is. Rose and I have sacrificed so much to see him safe and every little delay is exasperating. Fortunately, once they do get moving things move pretty quickly; Mickey lifts him by the shoulders and Jackie grabs his feet.

Bringing him into the medical bay, I direct them to put him down on the closest bed to the right of the door. I show Mickey where to find an oxygen mask and how to attach the mask and monitoring leads, neither of which I can tell he is very happy about doing. Jackie I don't even try to get involved in his care as at this point I can still feel her simmering anger, toward both Theta, and myself. Once I have determined the extent of his injuries I feel much better, yes he is going to be pretty seriously miserable for a couple of days but if he can get some proper rest he should be well. My only remaining concern is the high levels of Vortex energy that he still has in his system, which confuses me as I was sure that Rose and I had gotten it all when we had returned the energy we had borrowed to my central core. As he coughs and a small curl of energy emerges, I know at least that his body is purging it from his system. With the basics determined, I have them roll the medical bed into an old bedroom of his and talk Mickey through putting in a self-threading IV.

I would like to have them take him to his current bedroom but based on Jackie's reaction it would be very unwise for me to let her to see Rose's things in his room. He may be confused by the room change but at least it will be better than the medical area. I learned my lesson last time about what happens with him waking up in the medical area and he doesn't need that extra stress right now. With that I encourage them to take Rose back to Jackie's flat, knowing that it will serve a positive dual purpose - if anything happens I can wake Rose and she in turn can let them know we need help. More importantly it will help Jackie let go of the anger she is fostering toward us by being able to see for herself that, although changed, Rose is still her daughter in every way other then genetically. Theta was right when he told me, that if there were to be anyone other then himself caring for her, it would be Jackie that would care for her best.

* * *

I wake to a throbbing headache and suddenly I am bombarded with more sensations than I can handle, moaning and clutching at my head.

'Eww, that doesn't feel good! How do you put up with that?'

'Hush, not so loud!'

'Not my fault, it's your body with the headache.'

'Ours now.' I tell her petulantly. Never did like headaches. 'So what can I take for this?'

'I have some pain medication Theta takes when he is hurting, but it's down here.'

'Down there?' Suddenly I realize I am no longer on the TARDIS. 'How could she! I told her I didn't…'

'I told her it would be okay.'

'Why would…' Suddenly I remember the whole conversation between Verity and mum and exactly why Verity had made the suggestion. 'Never mind. Gonna take some getting used to this.'

'Yes.'

'Head hurts.'

'I know, been listening to if for hours waiting for you to wake up again.'

'Why didn't…' a flood of thoughts about how much my new body needed the rest washes over me. 'Sorry.'

'He's worth it.'

'Absolutely.'

'Head hurts!'

'We've established that.'

'Must you comment on everything I think?'

'Sorry it's not easy on me either; I can't filter you out like, I do him. Oh, what's that?'

'Loo'

'What?'

I think of the WC and what we need to do.

'This doesn't feel good! Are we going to make it?'

'Concentrating here!' and I am, it's hard but not as hard as it was earlier. I force my eyes open feeling a wave of dizziness as the room shifts into a Technicolor of bright pinks in all kinds of shades and gradients I am sure I have never seen before. It's so loud I have to blink a few times trying to make my eyes adjust to the shock. 'Is it like this for him?'

'Yes.'

'No wonder he didn't like my room here at the flat!'

"Rose! Are you okay Rose?" I hear mum calling as she closely scrutinizes my face.

'God she's loud! Everything's loud, it wasn't…'

'New ears.'

'Oh.'

"Rose darling can you hear me?"

'Loo, need.'

"Here let me help you!"

Bless her! I can't help the strained smile as I try to focus on mum and not the screaming pink surrounding me. 'Don't think we would make it otherwise, really got to go.'

'Ewww, that's gross.'

'Well that's the way it works, better get used to it.'

Mum half carries me as we stagger to the loo and it takes all my concentration to keep on my feet, but I can, at least with her help, walk some.

'Hey don't do that,' I practically yell as Verity tries to help me walk.

'But I was...'

'Later! We got to keep on our feet, let me do this! You didn't see me trying to navigate the vortex…' "…did you?" Suddenly I realize I just spoke aloud and wonder at how different my voice sounds.

'Different ears remember?'

'Oh yeah, weird.'

"What dear?"

'Nothing, still trying to get the hang' "of this." It's so hard to concentrate to keep speaking in one mode right at the moment, so many things demanding my attention and it's so hard to keep track of which ones are most important at the moment.

As mum helps me sit, I try to figure out how to get my jim-jam bottoms off. As if suddenly realizing the problem she just helps me back up and holds me steady as I work them down far enough to take care of business.

'Well, that's a relief!'

'Must you?'

'Well, your body is so different!'

'And yours isn't to me? You don't hear me making comments on every little valve turn and switch movement you make and don't even get me started on what the vortex was like on your skin!'

'That does feel lovely doesn't it? Very soothing.'

'Oh yeah, like rolling in velvet but something much more…' I can't think of a proper equivalent.

'I think I will like velvet, he used to before…' the image of a beautiful man in a velvet smoking jacket fills my vision. Then I start choking as I feel the rush of grief and even more violent rush of memories of the days after right after the end of the war. Suddenly I am pitching forward the contents of my stomach trying to leave in spite of the fact that I have yet to eat anything in this body. The rush of emotions being too much, much too much, it's a relief as the blackness claims me.

* * *

I don't know exactly what to do; Verity said she was ill but that she would get better with some rest. But I have never seen her so sick that she can't seem to control her own body like this. Damn the bloody aliens! "What have they done to you sweetheart?" I had thought she was doing better when she woke up; at least she was able, with my help, to get to the loo and say a few words, even if most of what she said was still in my head. Then she had had started gagging and choking and passed out. What am I going to do? Not like I can take her to the doctor and explain what's happened! They would lock me up as a nutter... No not an option. If only that Doctor of hers would wake up he would know what to do, but he seems like he's even worse off from what that ship of his said.

That man better live - he's got a lot to answer for! So help me, connection or no connection, if he breaks my Rose's heart after everything she has done for him I'll kill him myself! She was willing to do anything for him, made that perfectly clear before she ran out of the chippie. It's just like Jimmy Stone all over again but a thousand times worse.

* * *

I awake fuzzy and yet still very tired. 'Morning Rose.'

'Verity?'

'I'm so sorry!'

I want to cringe as I suddenly remember why she is apologizing. A million thoughts running around through my head and yet at the same time I don't want to look at the answers to any of them. Yet the one thought is inescapable and it breaks my heart. The Doctor committed suicide rather then try to live with the knowledge that he had been forced to destroy Gallifrey and everyone and everything he loved there, so this was now the third time she knew of that he had given up and resigned himself to oblivion. This was also the second time that Verity's actions had saved him. At that knowledge, I feel incredibly grateful to her for her actions in spite of the consequence she has endured in terms of his anger. There is so much pain there and even as I am thinking about it, I realize Verity is still hiding away as much of that hurt as she can to try to protect me.

'Verity.' I know she can hear me but I can tell she is trying to ignore me. 'Verity, your going to have to show me some time, linked as we are it's not like you can hide it forever.'

'I didn't mean to Rose, I didn't want you to see that. He's hurt enough and doesn't need you to be angry with him.'

At her intense distress and worry about him I marvel at how much she tries to protect him, but considering everything he has been through I am very glad she does even if it is, as it is in this case, a mistaken belief that her actions are going to result in him being hurt. 'Verity, I…' I want to explain but it is hard for me to do so, 'Yes, I am angry but it is in no way at either him or you, more an anger at the situation. You both have lost so much and it…' I swallow trying to think of a way to describe how I am feeling about something so indescribable. 'It hurts. I could never have imagined how bad it was if I hadn't seen it in your memories…

'That's why I didn't want you to see.'

'Still is hard to get my brain around, but that doesn't mean I didn't want to know. We're in this together now and how am I to help if I don't know how you've been hurt? The last thing I want is to hurt him unintentionally and I know I have at times, not understanding. I saw how bad some of the most random things bothered him when we first started traveling together remember?'

'Yes, but he will still be so angry with me for showing you this. He never wanted you to know how bad it was, he wanted to protect you from our grief. You're so young and I know this can't be easy. Oh Rose, I really am sorry, so very sorry, but it was this joining or his death and I couldn't bear to lose him as well. I had hoped I could protect you more, but I can't seem to do anything right these days.'

I can't help but cry over the misery I feel coming from her at the feelings of having failed us both and I really wish I could give her a hug to help to get across to her that even though it hurts it's better for me to know then not. 'Verity, it's okay. It's just a lot to take in, everything is so different and it's going to take getting used to, that's all. This isn't your fault, none of it, so please don't think that. I don't regret my decision '

"Rose dear? You awake?"

I open my eyes before I realize it didn't take any effort to do so. I am still in the extremely loud pink bedroom of my childhood and I almost cringe at the intensity of the walls. 'It's is rather loud isn't it,' Verity comments and I take it for exactly what I know it is, her trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, 'm here mum." Good, it seems that it just took some settling in to get used to the new body. 'Verity, we're not done talking about this, and honest it's going to be all right. I need to talk with mum for a bit.'

'Just make it quick Theta's waking up.'

"Mum, Verity says the Doctor's waking up."

"Oh, I… I suppose you want to go down there." I can here the trembling in her voice as I feel a wave of fear from her.

"Yeah, need to mum. It's going to be all right, honest."

"But you were so sick sweetheart. I don't think I have ever seen you that bad off even when you were little. Are you sure he won't be okay for a bit. Maybe a cup a tea before we go down?" I hear the hopefulness in her voice the need to be reassured and I suddenly feel like I'm the mum and our roles have been reversed.

"We can have a tea when we get down there." Even as I am speaking, I can feel Verity moving things around to get the tea on and know that she will have it ready by the time we get to the kitchen. A very weird feeling being in two places at once, but it is starting to feel a bit easier to manage now that were not quite so mashed together like we were when we were fully Bad Wolf, even if it's not exactly what I would call normal.

"The pot should be about ready by the time we arrive and the tea will be good for the Doctor as well." I am surprised by the flash of anger I feel from her at the mention of his name. "It's not his fault!" I blurt out even before I realize it is Verity responding.

"I didn't say it was dear," the wave of suspicion I feel from her makes me sad.

"He tried to protect me, he sent me home mum. I couldn't let him die, I just couldn't. Then he got hurt trying to protect me from the energy Verity and I let out to get us there, do you really expect me to abandon him after that?"

"No, I guess you couldn't." The gentle caress she gives my face tells me of all the love she has and the fear that she has lost me forever and I reach up and cup her hand in my own.

"I'm going to be okay mum honest." I move gingerly trying to get a sense of how much control have now and I am relieved to note it is considerably more then it was the last time I was awake. Carefully I sit up and I am glad when my head only gives me a temporary twinge at the movement. 'Verity you really need to show me…' with that I see a drawer labeled with a swirl of circles on the front which I now know to mean pain medication I am struck again by how strange it is to suddenly just know things. I can't help the smile that bursts on to my face as it dawns on me that I now know Gallifreyan, which means the Doctor and Verity are now not the only ones in the universe that know the language.

All of those books in the library, and those messages on the TARDIS monitors are going to be readable and suddenly I can't wait to get down there. I look up at mum with a bright reassuring smile and say, as I stand and hold out my hand, "Shall we?" I can see the relief in her face that I seem to be functioning more or less normally again.

"It's Christmas Eve, dear. You may want to get dressed before we go. Might be a bit chilly in just Jim Jams."

"It's okay, I'll wear my robe." If I didn't know he was waking up, I would take the time to get dressed properly but I want to get down stairs to check on Thete and with that I move to get my robe from the door as suddenly a wave of dizziness hits and I feel very queer indeed. A moment later, I belch up a large ball of gold light and immediately feel better for doing so. I can't help but stare as the ball of energy begins to break up and drift away. I can feel Verity's concern and mum's eyes staring at me.

"Told you that I had been exposed to a bunch of energy, it will dissipate soon and no harm done." I try to make it sound light like no big deal even as I feel like freaking out. 'What in the world was that!'

'Vortex energy.'

'Thanks, got that much! I had thought that we had gotten it all out.'

'Both you and Theta are releasing the excess energy that you have been exposed to; I don't know why you still have it, but it should taper off soon.'

'Good last thing we need is to be carted off by some alien hunter like Van Statten, had more then enough of his company thank you.'

* * *

It's weird, seeing myself from the outside and as mum and I enter, I realize that I won't need a mirror in my room any more. It's a weird feeling not just walking around but also being able to watch myself do it. I stumble a bit as I reach the ramp up to the main console, forgetting for a moment to lift my feet as Verity distracts me looking around her interior from my point of view and I sense it is just as odd a sensation for her as it is for me for similar reasons.

As I think of the Doctor I suddenly know were he is and exactly how awake. I pick up the pace a bit hoping to get there before he becomes too disoriented by not being in our room and silently agree with Verity's assessment that it was better Mum not see I have been sharing a room with him. As Verity starts to shuffle rooms around, I stop and I stare in fascination at the wide spectrum of rooms we have.

"I didn't know we had a swimming pool."

"What? What do you mean we have a swimming pool? Rose are you all right?"

"Yeah," I state, blinking to get my eyes to focus on mum and not what Verity is doing. "Verity just was doing something and I found out we have a swimming pool in here…" Spotting the weights room as she moves that. "…and a work out and weights room."

Suddenly I notice Mum is staring at me with an expression that is a mixture of fascination, horror and disbelief. I figure it's probably best to ignore the first two. "Well we do. In fact tell you what, after we check on the Doctor I will give you the grand tour."

I see her swallow hard as she tries to get her mind around everything I have been saying but finally her curiosity wins out.

"I… I guess, you sure it will be all right? We're not going to get lost or anything are we?"

I smile, trying not to laugh, as I realize that I am now the last person in the universe who is going to get lost inside Verity's walls and almost do giggle when Verity shows me how once in awhile when she gets really mad at Thete she deliberately moves rooms on him. "Not to worry, I know this place like the back of my hand."

What I don't tell her is it is because I now literally know this place better then the back of my hand particularly since the back of my hand, not mention the rest of me, is now less than forty-eight hours old. Very weird that; never thought the question, 'how old are you' would be quite so difficult to answer. Depending on how you look at it I am anywhere from less then two days old to over a thousand. Wonder what mum would think if she found out, her little girl is now older then she is at least in some ways.

'Don't you dare tell her how old I am!' Then I do smile as I realize even thousand year old plus ladies can be sensitive about their age.

'Rose Tyler, you are laughing at me! That's not nice.' With that, I finally do giggle, fortunately mum doesn't notice, though I do feel Verity pouting at me and wonder who started that behavior, her or the Doctor.

'I do not pout, I will have you know.'

'Uh huh, if you say so.'

'You're being rude.'

'Sorry.' And I am sorry that I have hurt her feelings, even though it was unintended. Somehow knowing I am going to be sharing the rest of my life with her doesn't seem so bad, since I know that she in many ways is so much like anyone else I have ever known both in her strengths, of which there are an amazing number, and even her wonderfully quirkiness.

'Watch who you're calling quirky kid. Really, don't they teach children in this century any respect?'

In spite of her indignant mental words, I can still feel the fondness and fact that she sees the humor in this whole situation too and I can't help quipping back, 'Well what do expect from a less then two day old?

'Cheeky, you are.'

'Well, I have learned from the best.' and with a mental bit of synchronicity we both state at the same time, 'From the Doctor of course,' which gets us both giggling. For a moment I can't help but feel, as if I have embarked on a perpetual girls' night out, or in our case a girls' night in would probably be a better description.

A few moments later we arrive at Thete's bedroom, well the bedroom he used regularly when he was in his fourth body. Seeing as he had kept that body the longest it made sense that if he wasn't in our room that Verity would choose there as it would be the room with which he was most familiar.

"Okay mum, I'm going to go in and check on him." Pointing two doors down where Verity has moved the kitchen, I tell her "the kitchen is right there, I will be right in, in a few moments."

"I think…"

She is looking at me nervously and I interrupt her before she can properly object, "Mum, I am right here, just two doors down, nothing is going to hurt you in here, in fact this is probably the safest place on the planet."

"Don't you…"

"No, I don't. I'll be in there in a moment. Mum, please?" With that, she moves down the hall. Opening the door I step into a room I have never been in before, and find it quite pleasant and airy and very different from the room he and I share that is just now starting to take on some personality. Amused, I notice a very long scarf hung over the back of a chair and get from Verity's memories an image of a tall handsome man with curly hair and a pixy like grin. I can't help but smile at the warm feeling associated with the memory of him and my own memory of what happened for the first time after I wore a very similar scarf. I am distracted, though, by a noise somewhere between a moan and a groan coming from over on the four-poster bed.

"Doctor?" Even as I look at him, I can see he is not really awake. "It's okay, I'm here," I tell him as caress his face and he opens his eyes a bit.

"Rose?" I can tell he is only half awake by the confusion in his expression.

"Yes, I'm here. Everything's going to be all right. Just rest and I bring you tea in a little, okay?"

"Mm hmm," is his quiet reply and I can tell he is already sliding back to sleep as he nuzzles my hand. He looks so tired, and fragile and at the same time strangely at peace and I am happy at least that he is getting some nightmare free sleep.

I don't even have to ask to know that Verity will let me know if he wakes. In the mean time, I will show mum about my new body and try not to get her too freaked out in the process.


	6. Discoveries & Confessions

A/N: This one is for MythStar Black Dragon, my ever faithful reviewer and those who have recently added it to their story alerts, t3hlinz1223, LindsayCullen, Captain Traemel, sarahdaye9, To all those that have joined the progress of this tale thank you

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Chapter 4.6 -Discoveries & Confessions

It really is hard to believe that Rose is connected to this ship and it is very weird to think that I am in something alive. I wonder what a time ship eats anyway? If it's meat, I definitely don't want to be any where near its stomach. I know Rose would never let me get hurt but how much control does she have over this thing? Does it have the ability to take over my daughter; she did say they were sharing bodies as well? I have tons of questions, and I intend to get answers. Where is she anyway? She said she would be right in?

"Mum? Why are you just standing there? I thought you wanted some tea."

"What I want, young lady, is answers! What were you thinking sweetheart? You said you couldn't be separated, what does that mean? What are you going to do when you want to settle down and have a family?"

"Mum, the Doctor and Verity are my family now and I will never want it any differently. You haven't seen some of the people and things I have, it's so amazing out there."

"What makes you think he wants to be your family Rose? Did he propose? Don't tell me you got married to him some place and didn't invite me!" At my grimace at the thought of how to tell her about my transformation she continues in a higher more fevered pitch. "That's it, isn't it? How could you do that to me? Just larking off and marrying some alien bloke and not even considering your poor old mum might want to attend your wedding."

-----------------

"Mum! It's not like that!" I can't help the exasperated tone in my voice but her words scare me in a way I am not quite ready to think about, what if he doesn't want me? What if, after everything, he hates me, doesn't want me to be like him, or feels insulted that some dumb ape has taken up residence in a Gallifreyan body? What if he leaves me behind?

'Hush, it will be fine. He won't leave without you. I won't let him. I'm as much a part of you as you are of me now, and whether or not he likes it, we're a package deal.'

'I don't think I could take it if he hated me Verity, I love him so much!'

'You know how much he loves you too; you have felt it as much as I have. If it's anyone he will be mad at it will be me.'

"Well what IS it like then? How do you know he won't just take off and leave you behind?"

"Because I am attached to Verity; she isn't going to be leaving me off someplace random any more then I would consider leaving an arm behind." Quickly, before I can think about it too much more, I change the subject. "Now do you want to see a part of why I love this place so?"

"Rose I don't know it… Wait, what does this thing eat anyway? Is it safe in here?

"Oh please mum, I told you before your perfectly safe here! Do you really think she is going to eat you?" At the uncertainty on her face, I can't help but smile and explain. "She absorbs energy that surrounds us, that humans can't feel, wouldn't even know it was there without instruments and since no one knows to look for it there aren't any in this time. No eating going on here, unless you want some of the chocolate digestives. So, feel better now?" At which I am reminded of how really hungry I am and snatch one up taking a bite I am stunned at the explosion of flavor so unlike anything I have ever tasted, and so very, very good. In fact, pretty darn fantastic for a first meal and can't help either the groan of delight or the urge to snatch up another.

"Rose are you okay?" I want to cry at the worry I see and feel coming from her. I can't help feeling sad, as I know I am going to have to tell her soon how much more I have changed then she even might suspect right now. Hopefully, if she sees how wonderful Verity is it will make this easier.

"'S all right mum, really. Just tastes really good. Now come on I got so many wonderful things to show you." I grab her hand and begin to pull her along behind me. "In fact I have something special to show you."

'Gallifrey room?' comes Verity's thought.

'Gallifrey room.' I reply and I feel her begin shifting it in closer. Going slow for a few moments I try not to think too hard about the feelings caused by the block transfer calculations Verity is using to shift the room within her walls and the way the pressure of the equations feel as tissue separates and rejoins behind gently pushing the desired room closer. Three doors down I feel the room lock into position and the odd sensation of her remolding the wall to become a doorway into the desired space. Pausing outside the door, I close my eyes a moment as I feel a bit light headed. Trying not show how tired I suddenly feel.

"Rose, are you all right?" My eyes snap open at her request and I reply as cheerfully as I can.

"Sure, mum, just thanking Verity for moving the room closer so you don't have to walk so far." The expression on her face is gob smacked as she tries to wrap her mind around what I have just said.

"You mean she can move rooms in here?"

"Yep, it is so totally neat! Never have to search for a loo when you got to go. Lovely hot tub when desired off the ensuite or if I want a shower instead that's what she moves to attach to my room. In fact, when I came on board that first time I took a nap in a spare bedroom. Next time I went to that door, she had totally changed the room around and made me up the loveliest bedroom. I'll have to show you that for you to believe it!" Her incredulous expression makes me wonder how well she is going to handle what I have to show her next. "Now just remember were still in the TARDIS in spite of what it looks like behind this door. This is a very special room, which they created to remind them of their home. So be nice mum."

"Now why wouldn't I be nice?" She sounds hurt and slightly insulted but I know what she is about to see will be a bit of shock and I don't want her saying the first thing that comes to mind which might turn out being unintentionally hurtful.

"Ready?" Without waiting for her to decide, I open the door and smile at her gasp of shock.

Inside the room is a lovely meadow of rich red grass under a beautiful orange sky, a small forest of silver trees are off to the right and from the door there is a narrow two person path that wanders along flower beds of flowers to which I now have a lot more names. There are the more ordinary daisy's and the trixtafaraven that look remarkably like pansies. But, in addition there are many exotic flower and shrubs. I marvel at how as I look at each one I know not only it's common name but also it's horticultural name and everything about the necessary conditions for the plant to flourish. As we wander through the garden I start to point out and tell her of some of the ones I really find quite pretty and feel her amazement at the scope of the knowledge I have about the plants. As we walk, she suddenly looks at me and around the space we have entered.

"Are you sure we're still in the TARDIS? How big is this thing?"

"Yes, it's like a small estate in here. You have the manor house and it's many rooms and the grounds and lots of different gardens. I really love the gardens, mum. You would never know it from talking with him, but he really loves flowers and plants. He and Verity have collected a lot of them over the years. There are over 250 different species of small animals that live in the different habitats, and literally thousands of different kinds of insects and small bug life that keep the plants healthy and producing flowers. There are so many things that they have saved in here that no longer exist anywhere else any more. It's a bit like Noah's ark in some ways."

"All that in here?"

"Yep, and there are hot tubs, a pool, a tennis court as well as work out and weights rooms and you should see the wardrobe, mum I will never have to buy another outfit again if I don't want." I stop and turn to her in all earnestness taking her hands, " and he never asked me for anything in return but my company. Do you have any idea how lonely he is? He lost everything in the war. Yet still he gives so much of himself and doesn't ask for things in return."

'Rose don't…' I hear Verity warn.

'I need her to understand Verity! I love you, all of you, she's my mum and I don't want to lose her. I don't want her to be angry or scared of you or the Doctor.' I can feel her quiet understanding even as at the same time I feel her concern about how much I am sharing with her about her and Theta.

'It's going to be okay you'll see, trust me, I know my mum.' Even as I say that I can feel her moving around in my memories and I have to shiver as odd bits of my past pop to the forefront of my mind.

"Rose? You're shivering, are you sure you're all right? Said you needed more then just a robe." The expression on her face is so tender and caring and I just want to sit here for a bit, to just be my mother's daughter. I don't realize till it's too late and she touches my forehead trying to determine if I have a fever that is no longer an option. I know it's time and I can't help the sadness that washes through me as she begins to fuss because I also know what I am about to tell her will change how she sees me forever.

"Rose, you're chilled through almost as bad as himself, you are and that's just not good! You should be up in bed, not running around down here!"

I capture and still her hands that she has begun scrubbing up and down my arms trying to warm me and I walk us over to a nearby ornately carved stone bench, watching her expression of concern turn to worry.

"Rose, what is it sweetheart? You have gotten so pale. Are you feeling ill again?"

I choke on the words and suddenly can't keep back the tears. "Mum, more then just the link happened when I left, much more." The look of confusion on her face isn't making this any easier. "Before we left I had to make a decision that was going to change the rest of my life. I knew when I left that one of us was going to die when I got back there."

"What, but you're both here, well all three of you if you count the TARDIS."

"Please, mum, this is hard enough to tell you, please just let me." With that I give her my most pleading expression one that had gotten me out of a lot of things I didn't want to do over the years.

"'Kay," she agrees, but the look of worry that she had is now verging on terror.

"I knew even before Verity exposed me to the Vortex it was going to kill me, kill my human body to be specific. It was that and the link that were what was going be required to provide a way to save him. The only way all of us could come out okay was if Verity helped me become like the Doctor, and turn me into a Gallifreyan. I'm not cold because I'm sick mum, I'm cold because this is the normal temperature of my body now. " She is honoring my request and letting me explain but I can tell the whole idea is horrifying her but I can't stop now and force myself to continue. "When I was exposed to the Vortex, it began to break down my human body, we aren't meant to be exposed to that much power and it literally burned me up. Knowing this was going to happen, Verity was able to copy all of my memories everything that makes me who I am, to storage in her memory. That's why we became linked so she could do that. Even Time Lords can't handle the full brunt of drawing the Vortex into them like I did. But because we knew what was going to happen and because another alien helped Verity make some changes to her systems right after the war, we were able to convert that energy to build me another body, a Gallifreyan body, with the excess energy that was killing me as a human and bring the levels low enough so it didn't kill my new body. Time Lords, Gallifreyans, can handle more of the Vortex, energy then virtually any other species other TARDIS, who were genetically engineer by the Time Lords to be able to do so."

"We didn't have time to tell the Doctor what was happening as things were happening so fast and so he tried to take the energy away from us. He was willing to die to protect me from that energy and that is why he is so sick. He was poisoned by it, and pulling the energy out of my new body disrupted the integration process, which is part of why I was so sick." My words stumble to a halt as I finally look up again at her and see her total disbelief and horror. "Mum, please say something, I'm me, really I am, just my body is different now. Ask me anything… Please, mum?"

Long moments pass as she says nothing and I grow ever more fearful of her final reaction. Her question when she does speak is not at all what I expect. "Did it hurt? It sounds like it might have hurt, a lot; you know how much I hate burns." The look she gives me is wane and strained. I breathe a sigh of relief that she hasn't rejected me outright but I know how hard this must be for her. I am her only child and in a very real sense I have just told her I am no longer her child.

"Yes, it did, it did hurt a lot. But I couldn't let him die, mum. You have seen what he does and he is the only one left that can. He has sacrificed so much so that we could be safe. He has had to give up virtually everyone he has ever loved to save the rest of us, the rest of the universe. The universe needs him; he needs someone, and I need him. I love him, mum, more then I have ever loved anyone before and this way he doesn't have to be alone anymore."

"But Rose, does he love you? Does he understand what you have given up?"

"No, not yet, but he will." I have to swallow the fears that want to wash me away and trust in the love I have for him, the love he has given back to me. "He's still too sick mum, he didn't even wake up proper when I came in, but when he gets better I will tell him what happened."

"Well, I hope for his sake he does, because he will never find someone more worth loving than you sweetheart" and with that she enfolds me in her arms and I know everything is going to be all right between us.


	7. Pilot Fish

A/N: Many thanks to each of you who have added this as a favorite and continue to follow the story. Special thanks to SciFiGeek14 for the most recent add.

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Chapter 4.7 -Pilot Fish

After my confession, mum suggests we move back up to the flat so she can get me properly fed. I know most of the reason is she doesn't want the constant visual reminder of what I have told her and wants the comfort of her own home and can't blame her for either feeling. The rest of the day goes by relatively quiet as mum and I catch up on what has been happening at the estates. A few more times I go down and check on the Doctor. In spite of everything, he seems to be managing pretty well other than his continued unconsciousness caused by his healing trance and an intermittent fever which is worrisome as his temperature normally drops not rises when he enters one. It's not unexpected there would be odd consequences considering the nature of and the extent of damage the Vortex energy did. Verity estimates it may be a few days before he gets back to feeling normal again, assuming everything goes well, so most likely sometime tomorrow he will be up and about.

We also are making good progress, for the most part, but by noon it is obvious how tired I am and mum finally convinces me to go rest and I haven't the heart to refuse as she makes up my bed in that violently pink bedroom that used to be both my kingdom and refuge as a child. At least a dozen times throughout the morning I have had to hide as I feel the vortex energy continue to be expelled and I try to ensure we don't have a repeat of the episode right before we went downstairs that I could tell was quite disturbing not just for me but her as well. As she leaves me to sleep I roll about a bit trying to get comfortable but there are so many thoughts running through my mind. I get up for a time to stare at myself in the mirror and think about what it will be like being with Theta in this body. I know from Verity's memories and my own experiences so far that our senses are much sharper than humans and so much wider in scope and I can't help shivering as I think of some of the possibilities, before finally surrendering to the creeping fatigue and sleeping.

* * *

It's so hard to get my mind around. In so many ways she is still my Rose but she has changed in little ways that are hard to define. A gesture here, an odd phrase there, but as the day has progressed I have come to realize that, just as she said, she is still my Rose. The Doctor better realize what a gift she has given him or I may have to kill him myself. In so many ways it makes such sense that she would be willing to do this for him, but I still worry. I knew even before she ran off with the TARDIS, before she went back to that space station, that she was hopelessly in love with him, but I had always hoped that if he disappeared some day that she would be able to get over him - I now know that it was wishful thinking. She may no longer be human but it seems that in all the ways that count she still is my daughter and I don't want to see her hurt.

As I think about the last few hours I know were going to have to talk about any possible food allergies she might have now that I should be careful of and I can't suppress the shudder when I think about what she had showed me when I mentioned giving the Doctor aspirin. I am also pretty sure that there is something about her room in the flat here that is distressing her but as she refuses to say anything about it I figure it is for the best if I just wait for her to bring it up.

This is definitely turning into one of the strangest Christmas Eve's I have experienced and I wonder what else is in store when that Doctor of hers wakes up. I wonder if he is going to put up a fuss about staying and insist they take off again, like he did when she first came back after being gone for a year, or if he is going to be marginally more tolerant, like the time when they came back to help us with the porcupine people - at least then he was willing to have a cuppa. I wonder if it would be too much to hope that they would actually stick around for a proper Christmas dinner?

As I look in on Rose sleeping she looks so much like the little girl who would head off to Henrick's and who I had to remind not to be late for work only a year and half ago; my daughter the alien. As I watch another small curl of that golden mist drifts from her partially open lips and I wonder what it means and if it really will finally stop happening so she will be able to live as normal as she is going to be able to from now on.

I wonder how Mickey is going to take that Rose is no longer human. I mean it's one thing to have your girl dump you for an alien and take off traveling with him, but it's another entirely to know that she has been changed into one, but this news isn't for me to tell him. It was obvious that it was hard enough for her to tell me, but still he did know that Rose and the Doctor were sleeping together so at least it won't be like she is breaking up with him at the same time.

I hear the knock at the door and I figure it must be Mickey; it's not like I am expecting anyone else, particularly after how she rushed out of here to go rescue the Doctor I didn't have any idea whether she would even be back. Even though I hoped I couldn't help but wonder if this would be another Christmas I would sit home wondering if my daughter would make it back and I couldn't really muster the cheer to arrange any kind of party nor the desire to want to attend anyone else's not knowing Rose's fate.

"Hi Mickey, come on in."

"Hi Jacks, how's Rose?"

"Resting right now but at least she isn't quite so sick as she was last night. We even were able to go down to check on the Doctor and she seems content he too is doing okay. Fancy a cup?"

"Could murder one."

* * *

I hear voices coming from the other room and before I even move I know that Mickey has arrived. The faint scent of his aftershave, and the smell of tea wafting in from the kitchen tell me that mum is doing her usual when in doubt serve tea routine. In the other room I hear the TV announcing that some space probe is going to be displaying pictures of Mars in a few hours. Hearing a voice I recognize coming from the tele I finally get up. Looking at this excessively pink room I know that I don't intend to be sleeping in here again tonight.

"Is that Harriet Jones, mum?" I ask as I head for the living room and am startled to find her speaking about the space probe. "Why's she on the tele?"

"She's Prime Minister now, I'm 18 quid better off now. They're callin' it Britain's golden age. I keep on saying my Rose has met her."

"I did more than that, I stopped world war three with her; Harriet Jones."

I stand for a few moments wondering at both Harriet as Prime Minister and this space probe she is going on about. Some how it doesn't seem quite as spectacular after everything I have seen, just getting to see a few rocks and dust on the surface of Mars. I know, though, that this is as close to the stars as most will ever get and I realize again how very special and unique my life is, even before I consider that I am no longer human. How very much my life has changed in the last two years. It's still hard to believe at times that a little over a year and a half ago Earth time I was an ordinary teenager with dreams of settling down and trying to make a go of it with Mickey.

'You were never anything other than special Rose even when you didn't know what was in store for your future.'

'I…'

'No, Rose you have always been special, even if you didn't realize it at the time.' I can't help but smile at Verity's gently chiding tone in my mind and almost miss when Mickey suggests we go get in some last minute shopping.

He looks so hopeful, so worried and I can't help feeling that he too will have some adjusting to the idea that his ex is now an alien. "Sure. Let me get dressed and pop down to check on the Doctor for a mo and I will be right back.

* * *

It seems impossible - one minute Rose and Mickey were walking along looking through the shops and street vendor's goods, trying to figure out how to talk about what had happened and why we had been in the condition we had been when we got back from the Gamestation, the next we are running for our lives from homicidal Santas. I am unsure why they are chasing us but I know without question they are, and if they are after Mickey and Rose then Theta and Jackie too could be at risk. I mentally reach out to Theta, as Mickey directs the cab we have acquired back toward the estates. While I try to call my mum and constantly keep getting a busy signal, I feel Verity reach out to the Doctor.

* * *

'Verity? Where's Rose? Is she okay?'

I am careful to hide Rose the best I can and minimize and my presence in his mind. He will think I am mad at him but I dare not let him know right now what has happened between Rose and I and the last thing we need is for him to discover what has occurred when we are not both right here with him. I am uncertain on how he is going to react when he discovers what we have done and I have no intention of having this conversation when Rose is not physically within touching distance of him.

'She is fine right now' and I feel him tense at my wording, 'Theta, she went out for a bit with Mickey to get her mum a Christmas present and try to explain what happened at the Gamestation. But something is happening and she is worried about you and her mum's safety. She and Mickey are coming back as quickly as they can to the estates…' Before I can say anything further he is moving toward the front doors of the TARDIS clad in no more than a pair of jim-jams. I want so much to stop him from leaving, to try to protect him, but I can't, knowing how scared Rose is that the deadly Santa's may find their way back to Jackie before she gets back.

I feel how it takes a toll on him as he pushes up the stairwell to Jackie's flat and how out of breath he is when he gets there, what he finds when he does though makes it clear letting him out of my walls was the right choice. As he steps in the door he uses his sonic to blow up a killer Christmas tree that seems to be intent on ensuring that Jackie stays in the flat. The damage already in evidence making it very clear that if she had tried to leave that more of the walls of the flat would have become only so much kindling wood and that it was more thing willing to ensure their hostage wouldn't leave, even if that meant using deadly force.

Even as he sags against the wall in exhaustion, I can feel Rose and Mickey flying up the steps in a desperate attempt to get to Theta and Jackie, even though I have been careful to hide Rose from Theta, Rose is more than aware of the things I have been seeing and feeling through my connection with him. We both can feel this was too much for him too soon but he refuses to lie still until Rose and Mickey can get to him. Instead he forces his already overtaxed body to stand and move to the rail to insure their safety as they ascend the stairs. I see through his eyes as the robotic Santas materialize in the court directly below them and feel his steely determination as he forces his arm up to point the sonic in their direction. Rose and Mickey arrive just as the Robotic Santas acknowledge his threat and again disappear.

"Doctor!" I feel us both shout through Rose as he staggers back and slumps against the wall.

"Pilot fish." He mumbles and I get the sense of a vicious predatory creature surrounded by small seemingly harmless fish.

"Doctor please," I plead along with Rose as she tries to help support him. "Mickey help me get 'im in the flat!" Even as they begin to turn to reenter I feel a ball of vortex energy surge forth to be expelled through his lips and his whole body doubles forward in pain nearly pulling him from Rose and Mickey's supporting hold.

"What's happening, Doctor?" Jackie's panicked cry comes as Rose and Mickey try to navigate him to the closest room.

"I'm bursting with energy!" he groans out between gasping breaths as we stagger down the hall. "Too much exposure to the vortex. Haven't finished purging the extra energy. The Pilot fish could smell it a million miles away. They eliminate the defense, that's you lot and the carry me off. The could run their batteries off me for a couple of years." As he says this both Rose and I both know that it isn't the energy he has been expelling, as I had collected virtually all of that as he was sheltered within my walls. Instead the energy that was putting them all in jeopardy, the energy that had drawn them in, was that which has been working it's way out of Rose's system, not Thetas.

I can feel his thoughts growing more confused and chaotic as he continues to fight to stay conscious and help us understand the danger we are in, but with an additional cry of agony he buckles to his knees and I can now see the danger he is in as another surge of energy pours from his lips.

"Oh my head, I'm having a neuron implosion, I need…"

"Tea!" Rose exclaims as she sees the need as clearly as I do in his mind.

Mickey and Jackie stare at her like she has lost her mind but Theta's vigorous head nodding quickly sends Jackie scurrying for the kitchen to prepare the much-needed beverage.

Even in spite of his desperate need to return to his healing trance he will not stop speaking and, if it was not for hearing his continued words through Rose, I would be completely panicked as suddenly I lose the connection with his mind.

"We haven't got much time if there is pilot fish then," another cry of pain from him sends terror streaking through my circuits. "The pilot fish mean…" his breath is now coming in harsh ragged gasps and I push Rose to urge him to rest.

"Doctor, please, you…" but he cuts her off and I can tell from the expression on his face that he is no longer really hearing her.

"That… that something is comin'." Even as the words tumble from his lips his eyes roll back and he collapses into unconsciousness.

As quickly as they can they half drag, half carry, his now unresisting body to Jackie's bed, hers being the closet room to the door. The loss of the connection to his mind tells me how deep a coma he has fallen into and I fear for his life at this point. The strain has been too much for him and waking early has released more energy at one time than he could safely manage to expel. I don't know how much more he can take physically and much as I am desperate to have him with my walls so I can protect him I know that trying to move him now will do him more harm to then good. As I reach out to move myself closer to him I can feel how his injuries have affected me and the newly establish connection with Rose has yet to become stable enough for me to have any confidence in getting anywhere closer to him. I know with a sickening certainty that I am not in enough control yet to be able to try such a finely controlled jump as landing with the walls of Jackie's apartment.

'What can we do Verity?' as I feel her almost timid thoughts I am acutely reminded that I am no longer alone in my own mind. Which both terrifies and comforts me simultaneously.

'I need for you to get his vitals,' and with that I show her how.

His ragged breathing, convulsive shivering and suddenly spiking fever tell us of the battle he is fighting to hold his own against the damage and still too high energy levels in his system that need to be corrected. Long minutes later we have determined he is his far worse than we had feared as his left heart has actually stopped beating. As we work with Mickey to help to get it restarted and I finally feel it's first stuttering arrhythmic beats we know it is going to be a very long night indeed.


	8. Christmas Invasion

Chapter 4.8 -Christmas Invasion

Around midnight as we watch the tele it becomes obvious that the approach of the Sycorax can't have gone unnoticed by the military. Kind of hard to miss a batch of alien's hijacking the signal from an internationally televised broadcast, though you do have to give them points for ingenuity for their cover story. I feel a pang of guilt about not contacting someone but I'm not really sure whom to call - it's not exactly like I have the private number of the Prime Minister on speed dial or anything.

Though the broadcast is disturbing, it does help as, through Verity's memories, I now at least know who is hunting us and based on their broadcast they are definably not coming in peace. Right now, though, all I want to do is run and hide. The Doctor has always been the one to do the majority of the negotiations and neither Verity's considerable knowledge nor my paltry experience has really prepared us to handle this kind of thing by ourselves. From what we do know of Sycorax history they will try to bluff their way into power and to do that they are most likely going to wait till they are closer. Verity is keeping track of their movements on her sensors and estimates they are about seven hours away. With the rate the Doctor is now healing it will be a close thing as to whether he will wake before they arrive or not; which leaves us with decisions to make, none of which is very comforting. Verity doesn't have weapons installed but more than enough shields to deal with the likes of these, but sitting inside her shelter just waiting for whatever fate they might offer the Earth is unacceptable. We will wait four hours but can risk no longer before moving the Doctor downstairs in to the protection of Verity's walls and then we will find a way to contact Harriet and offer what help we can.

* * *

After Verity does some Internet hacking, I finally am able to get a phone number so I can get through to Margaret.

"Rose! It's so good to hear from you. Where is the Doctor?" I am unsure how to answer but I have to tell her something.

"Evening, Harriet, he's not well but I do have a few resources that I think can help. For one, I can tell you who you're dealing with and a few things about them. Is there someplace we can meet?"

"I'll have them send a car to pick you up."

* * *

It's been close to two years now for me since I last saw Harriet at Downing Street and the last time we were together blew the place up. A lot has happened to both of us since then and I am not the young innocent that I was then, nor is she the mild mannered back bencher that only acted on the periphery of the government.

"It's good to see you too Harriet." I say in response to her cheerful greeting as I enter. "Have they contacted you?"

"Yes, Alex my right hand is working on the translation of their message now."

"I think that's the part where I can help. Remember when the Doctor was talking with the Slitheen?"

"Yes."

"His ship translates languages for us all the time and I was able to understand the Sycorax, that's what they're called, the Sycorax, when they made that broadcast at midnight. If you play their message I can probably tell you what it says."

As they play it back, I repeat what they are saying. "Cattle we own you. You belong to us the Sycorax. We own you; we now possess your land, your minerals, and all your precious stones. You will surrender or they will die. Sycorax strong, Sycorax mighty, Sycorax Rock! "

"Sycorax Rock?"

"Yeah, like in we rock, you know, like we're awesome."

Her aid asks, "They will die? Who are they?"

"I don't know, they don't say who they are but from what the Doctor's ship could tell me they like to try to intimidate their prospective conquests so I don't know."

"Alex, can you send them a reply? Tell them, this is a day of peace on planet Earth we extend that peace to the Sycorax. Then send the message. This planet is armed and we do not surrender."

I can't help blurt. "Harriet is that wise?"

"Necessary, Rose. You said that the information you have is they bluff, maybe we can beat them at their own game."

I sigh but I can't argue with her logic - I just hope that the Doctor wakes soon. Mickey and mum had agreed to stay with him inside Verity so at least I know they are as safe as they can be for now. There is nothing more I would like to do than to go back and join them but for now I know I have to stay here, have to help as I can, just as the Doctor would.

'He's fine, Rose, sleeping still but he is definitely getting better. Your mum was able to get him to drink some tea when he woke up for a few moments; quick she is, your mum. Which has definitely helped.'

'I… just wish he was here. I miss him, Verity. He's the hero not me. I'm just the sidekick. What if I screw this up? I'm not as strong as he is, I couldn't take it if they destroyed the Earth because of…'

'Rose, it's going to be fine. Just watch, he will show up just in the nick of time and save the day.'

'Not always,' is my traitorous thought and I am horrified at Verity's sudden reaction of anguish as I realize she has taken it as a reminder of how helpless he was to prevent the destruction of their home.

'Verity! I'm so sorry, I didn't…'

'I'm fine Rose.' But I know she is anything but fine from the cold anguish and anger she is trying to hide from me and all I want to do is sit down and cry. I am so rubbish at this mind-to-mind communication stuff. Worse, I know that this won't be the last time I am going to hurt her like this, and I don't know any way to prevent doing it again.

"Rose?" I hear Harriet address me and look up.

"Yeah?"

"You okay? You just got suddenly very pale. You're not sick too are you?"

I don't even have a clue to where I could begin to explain what has happened to me in the last forty-eight hours and why I am so tired, so I don't even try. "No, just very tired. Haven't slept very well the last couple of days.'

Suddenly she is all concern and sweetness and I feel a little bad not telling her. "It's okay Rose, I am sure Alex can find you a cot where you can rest for a bit in one of the offices. I promise you I will get you if anything happens. Just lie down for a bit." With that she gives some quick instructions to the young guy that she had earlier with such delight introduced as her right hand man and he quickly gets one of the UNIT soldiers to bring in a camp bed and set it up in one of the offices. At first, I try to protest but it quickly becomes obvious it will do me no good and I really am quite tired.

'Go ahead and sleep Rose. I will wake you if sense anything.' Comes Verity's reassurance and I finally relent, realizing I am outnumbered on all sides and find that for a camp bed it really is very soft.

* * *

'Rose.' I start at Verity's mental nudge and I realize almost the moment I wake that something is wrong as I hear shouts from the other room. Running out I discover a mass exodus from the control room and watch in horror as I listen to Harriet talking with Mr. Llewellen and hear him describing the cause of the people leaving and I feel intensely how very little I know about the minds of those intent on taking that which doesn't belong to them. As Harriet looks to me for answers the only thing I can think of is to try to get them to bring me on board and hope we can talk them out of this but if not at least then we have a fighting chance to destroy the ship from the inside. I see understanding dawn on Harriet's face as she realizes that what I am suggesting would be tantamount to a death sentence to anyone that goes if we fail. "Rose, let me go, maybe you can…"

I steel myself to do that which I must and hope the Doctor can forgive me if I fail. "And how will you talk to the Sycorax, Harriet?" At that question, she gets very quiet and I can tell how very unhappy she is with the whole idea, and with poor grace, she accepts my suggestion and nods agreement.

"Alex, put through a message to the Sycorax." As she does so I can hear her swear to herself that if we survive this that someone is going to be making a hand held version of that language decryption software on a rush basis.

'You're right, Verity, humans are rather noisy when distressed'

'Told you.' In spite of her snarky reply, I can feel her intense distress at the idea of me going up to try to talk the Sycorax out of trying to take over the planet. Knowing she has as much chance of talking me out of this as she would the Doctor, she doesn't try but only comments 'Our poor Theta'. At the thought of how he will react to this, I feel a surge of grief that I may never see him again and the nauseating certainty coming from Verity of what he will do if I fail. That thought alone steels me to not accept anything less than success. He doesn't deserve that kind of grief and one way or the other I will not fail him, how I don't know, but I won't allow myself to fail knowing what it would do to him if I did.

* * *

I stand amazed at the shear size of the space we are in and can't help shivering as I remember a similar space a couple of days ago filled with Daleks and know with equal determination that I won't let Thete down now any more than I would then. The Oncoming storm may be under the weather but the Bad Wolf can still bite.

As we arrive I begin to translate as the Sycorax speaks and the scientist Mr. Llwellen insists on speaking and I listen to his impassioned plea as he speaks eloquently on behalf of the human Race. Only to scream in outrage as the Sycorax leader lashes out with some kind of electric whip killing him by reducing him to smoldering bones. Moments later the UNIT General is the victim of the same fate and, in blazing fury, I step forward to speak. I know that my body is stronger than those of the others are and Verity confirms what I suspect even as I step forward to confront the Sycorax leader. Even if he should try to use that energy whip on me it will not have the same horrific effect on me as it did on the other two and I will not stand by and let anyone else die because I am too afraid to speak.

Before I can say a word, the Sycorax leader reiterates his demands. I look back to Harriet as she asks how it would be better for us to surrender and I stare at her in disbelief knowing she is actually considering surrendering the Earth to these bullies.

I reach out to Verity for courage to speak, and a moment later Verity is sitting not more than a foot away and the Sycorax leader is glaring at me.

"You! What is your relationship to the box?" with Verity so close I know I no longer need to play interpreter as I feel her reach out to translate for the others.

I pause for a moment to try to figure out what to say and he shouts "Speak or he dies." and I follow his finger to Harriet's young assistant and that is the final straw.

"The box is mine!" I state with more courage than I feel.

"Then you, yellow girl, you speak for this planet."

"But she can't!" Harriet protests.

"Yeah I can." And fervently hope I don't sound as scared as I feel.

"Don't you dare!"

"Someone' got to be the Doctor."

"But you saw, they'll kill you!"

"Never stopped him." With that, I shrug off her attempts to protect me and approach the Sycorax leader prepared to fight for that which I love.

"I… I, um, I address the Sycorax according to article 15 of the shadow proclamation, I command you to leave this world with all the authority of…" 'Help Verity! Who?'

'Oh, I'm not sure'

'Yikes!'

"Of the Slitheen parliament of Raxacoricofallapatorius, and um, the Gleph confederacy as sanctioned by the… the Mighty Jagrafess. Now leave this planet in peace!"

As the Sycorax begin to laugh I suddenly feel my stomach sink as I know my bluff has failed. As he states, "You are funny, but now you're going to die." My blood runs cold.

"Did you think you were clever with your stolen words? We are the Sycorax, we control the darkness, next to us you are but a wailing child. You are the best your planet has to offer as a champion? Then your world will be gutted and your people enslaved." As I listen to him in horror, I know I have failed and I stand staring, waiting, and hoping that something will come to me to salvage this situation.

Suddenly I feel a wave a relief from Verity and I turn to stare at her in momentary confusion, suddenly seeing with her sensors salvation is at hand as Thete steps through the doors and I launch myself into his arms.

"Doctor!" and I can't even resent his cheeky reply in my ear of, "Did you miss me?"

None of which the Sycorax leader takes well and I suddenly find myself on my butt as the Doctor pushes me abruptly away and grabs that whip that misses me by fractions of an inch. I feel fury boiling from him as he yanks the Sycorax leader's whip from his hands, throwing it to the ground. Moments later, he has grabbed his staff of authority and snapped it across his knee. Stating with icy anger, as he points into the leaders face, "You will wait," and turns back to help me up pulling me into a quick hug asking. "You alright?"

"Am now." And I can't restrain the smile that bursts across my face.

"Ah Harriet, good to see you again! Fancy meeting you here. We really do need to quit meeting like this. Maybe a ring 'round for a cup a tea sometime, so who's this?"

He is being flip and very causal in how he is ignoring the Sycorax, deliberately turning his back on the large alien, making it obvious he considers him no threat, which Verity's memories tell me is an immense insult to a Sycorax. He is making small talk but I can feel him reining in his anger and at the same time I can feel Verity filling him in on everything that has happened. I am amazed again at how efficiently his brain operates as he is mentally rattling off a dozens of questions at a time all the while maintaining a pretense of indifference to the hostile aliens surrounding us.

"Doctor, this is Alex. My right hand man, I really quite fancy having a right hand man."

"Thanks Mam." Alex replies.

"So, did you win the election?"

"Landslide majority." She states sounding almost embarrassed by his question yet obviously delighted.

"If I might interrupt!" Comes the coarse voice of the Sycorax leader and I know things are about to get very interesting again and I am immensely glad it is no longer me he is addressing. "Who exactly are you?"

"Is that the best question you have?"

"I demand to know who you are!"

"You do, do you? Well maybe I am curious about a thing or two as well. Like this for instance." I watch in amazement as he saunters over to the control device the Sycorax threatened to activate earlier which would send millions to their deaths and I hold my breath as I wonder what Thete is up to.

"Looks like a great big threatening button to me, a great big threatening button that shouldn't not be pushed under any circumstance type button, I would guess, so what's it do? Hmmm, looks like a some sort of control matrix, hold on what's feeding it?" I stare unable to quite get over my amazement at how casually he does this even though I have seen him do similar things before never have realized how incredibly simple he makes it seem or how hard it is when I am the one trying to be brave.

'Practice, lots and lots of practice' I hear in reply from Verity

Crouching down he peers into the device, "What do we have here, blood?" Poking his finger in the pool of liquid revealed he sticks it in his mouth and I cringe already pretty sure what it is that is in the device based on what Mr. Llewellen had said before we left Earth. "Yep definitely human blood, A positive, with just a dash of iron." Then, as if realizing what he has on his hand, he makes a face and rapidly wipes it away on his pants. "But that means… blood control. Oh, fantastic blood control, I haven't seen blood control in years. You're controlling all the A positives." Flipping on a dime, he is again very serious "Now that leaves us with a bit of a problem now. What you say to this?" Faster than any of us can react he slams his palm down the top of the button.

I can't help my gasp in horror, along with Harriet and Alex, as he does and for a moment, I wonder if the vortex energy has scrambled his brain. Even as I think it though, I realize I know it was a bluff and Thete had figured it out and just called the Sycorax on that bluff. Seconds later I hear him beginning to explain just that to Harriet and Alex and proceeds to reassure them that it was merely a way of exercising a form of mass hypnosis and that due to the survival instinct the Sycorax couldn't have actually harmed anyone using the device.

The Sycorax leader is furious and proceeds to threaten to call in reinforcements. The almost joking manner Thete has been speaking in turns cold, his blue eyes sparking with anger and I know again, why the Daleks called him the Oncoming Storm. "Leave them alone."

"Or what?" The humorless laugh the Sycorax makes tells me he really doesn't know how much danger he is in and in that moment I know he will regret asking that question.

The grin that appears on my Doctor's face is deadly, and he casually reaches over grabbing from the waist of one of the guards a large sword and returning quickly to the center of the chamber, he states in a clear carrying voice. "I challenge you."

Suddenly the room erupts in loud roar of noise and he looks over at me and winks. Stating just loudly enough for me to hear "Looks like that struck a cord." Then turning back to the group as a whole he raises his voice and states, "Am I right that the sanctified rules of combat still apply?"

"You would act as this world's champion?" Shouts the leader in contempt.

In response Thete asks his own question "So do you accept my challenge or are you just a crelic pel gussik cree salvac?" I wonder for an instant why his final words didn't translate then a moment later I blush as I realize the translation and that there will be absolutely no way the Sycorax's pride would allow him to do anything but accept the challenge after that insult and know without question that was Thete's intent.

"For the planet?"

"For the planet!

Moments later the fight is on and I feel terror rise within me knowing how ill he has been. A moment later he staggers as the Sycorax lands a heavy blow to his chest and I shout a warning a moment too late and earn a harsh comment in return and I realize me yelling will only put him at greater risk of injury if I distract him. I will keep silent here forward and let him concentrate, as I suspect he may need every bit of concentration before this is through.

Even as come to this decision, he falls and barely avoids being struck and I bite my lip to keep silent and take a breath as he dodges up a stair I hadn't seen previously to emerge onto the top of the ship. As I turn to follow I see Mickey poke his head out and watch as he quickly darts out closing the door behind him and moves to my side and I hope mum has enough sense to stay inside.

Moments later, we are all standing in the sunshine. I watch in amazement as they duel and I realize I have only ever seen him with a weapon twice before once was when he had taken Jack's squareness gun away from him. The second was when we were trapped at Van Statten's and only one of those times had he actually had any intention of using it, and even then he hadn't in spite of having every reason do so.

'He was quite the dueler in his youth. He loved the skill and physical demands when he was at the academy. The instructors didn't approve, I actually think that was part of the reason he enjoyed it so much.'

I can't help smiling as I hear Verity's comments, so very like my Doctor always the rebel. The amusement disappears like vapor in a high wind as the Sycorax hits him hard in the face causing him a nose bleed. I lurch forward only to stop abruptly at his shout.

"Stay back! Invalidate the challenge and he wins the planet!"

I stand frozen to the spot as I watch, and then begin to tremble violently, as suddenly I know what is about to happen and know even as I do that there is nothing I can do but watching in horror. For me the universe slows down as I watch him being hit several times by the larger man finally falling along the outer edge of the space ship. Everything has taken on a surreal golden hue and I know I have seen this happen before I know what is about to happen and I know we have put in place the things needed to save him. Even knowing this I can't help the cry that escapes my lips as the Sycorax leader swings with deadly force at Thete and I watch as his hand is hacked off in that brutal blow which throws his hand and the sword he was using to defend himself with over the edge to the planet below.

I know I am quaking and I can do nothing but stare helplessly at his severed forearm reaching out to him but not moving a step from where I am frozen to the deck. I feel the energy crackling around us both, only for an instant and watch as everything speeds up as he stares in shock as his hand begins to regrow. The excess Vortex energy that has been poisoning him for the last two days suddenly leaps to life weaving around and creating a ghost image of his hand that rapidly solidifies till only a few seconds later it is if his hand was never lost.

I am unsure when I moved but next I know I am throwing him a new sword and the battle is on again, only to be over moments later as he pins the leader to the edge of the ship and extracts a promise to never return to Earth.

It saddens me to I know that regardless of the promise they will never keep it as the humiliated leader chooses to attack as he turns his back. I feel Verity move to act to protect Thete but she never gets the chance as suddenly I see a cricket ball fly into the controls near the door and the decking parts beneath the alien's feet sending him hurtling to his death. In that moment I know the Doctor has not forgotten how the Sycorax had threatened Alex, and me nor how he killed the two other people who had come with us to try to save the Earth. I ache as I here him mutter, "You had to be a fool," and feel the pang of hurt anger at having yet again been forced to kill to protect those he loved and how very tired he is of all the death he has seen.

**************

With all the senseless death he has seen it comes as no surprise to me later as he rants at Harriet at having Torchwood destroy the Sycorax ship and much as I want to hold him and comfort him I can tell there is too much anger there for anything I say to be of any help.

The intensity of the anger I feel from him makes it even more surprising to me when later when we get back to the flat he agrees to Christmas dinner with Mum, Mickey and I. Though, when mum tries to put a pink crown she gets from one of the crackers on his head, he firmly refuses to consider the idea and I can't help but laugh as mum mockingly pouts over him doing so.


	9. Reflections

A/N: Many thanks to MythStar Black Dragon and LindsayCullen for your reviews. Now on with the story, hoping you will like it even if he doesn't regenerate into 10 soon.

* * *

Chapter 09 - Reflections

I breathe in with sudden intense pain which although fading makes me wonder what the hell is going on, last thing I remember is three Daleks closing in and firing. Which isn't possible - I would be dead. Now all I see is three piles of ash where they once were menacing me. I was... THE DOCTOR! Even as I run for the control room I know I am too late as I hear the sounds of Verity taking off. Why? Why did they leave me here? For that matter, how did Verity get back here? He said he sent her and Rose away. I thought he had ensured that at least Rose would be safe. Maybe she is, maybe Verity had something to do about the piles of dust I am finding everywhere. But why would she, why would they, leave me behind? They must have thought me dead, but she's a time machine, wouldn't she know? Why would they just leave me here? I feel the oddest feeling and the gentle caress of a mind. 'Verity?'

'Jack, I am sorry we must leave you here. Please don't be mad at the Doctor. I can't give him a choice in this. I hope you will eventually forgive us for what is to come. But the Earth desperately needs your help and you are uniquely qualified. Know this though; there will come a day when we meet again, when the time is right, and that we love you; till then.' With that the warmth I have associated with the Doctor's beautiful time ship is gone.

* * *

It has been three days since my whole life changed. I look into the depths of my mirror, yet I still can find no visible changes saying 'here is a non-human', same as yesterday, as I stared at my reflection before retiring. It just seems like there should be something. I still look like the young shop girl I once was, but I long ago quit thinking of myself like that. It's hard to believe I'm no longer human - never in my wildest dreams did I even consider that I would ever be anything other than human, the thought had just never even occurred me, why should it? Not like you hear that every day - Oh last week I became another species! Then again, I'm not most people; I travel with the most amazing beings in the universe, a living, sentient time machine and a Time Lord, each when I met them the last of their kind. Even after traveling with Thete for close to two years, with all the strange and wonderful things we have seen and done, I still never expected anything like this to happen.

I place my hand on my chest and I feel the smooth double heart beat quietly attesting to the changes I have undergone. I close my eyes and the feel of the vortex on my skin to reminds me I no longer live in only one body, but two. My fragile human body consumed, unable to take the strain of the vortex, my brain unable to deal with the merging of my human Rose consciousness and my Verity TARDIS mind, as I became Bad Wolf. Verity had explained what the consequences would be before she finally relented and told me what would need to happen in order for us to get the access panel to open. I also know now the pain ripping that panel open caused her and that Verity would do anything to protect our Thete, but she would have let them both die rather than force that decision on me; it wasn't in her to do something that would destroy someone she loved that much. There are some lines that are never meant to be crossed - stealing another's life is one of those lines. She knows how much I mean to Thete, and trying to force this on me, would have killed him in a far worse way than the Daleks. So she had insisted I know before we merged and that I truly understood what the consequence would be to both of us.

Verity had known for a very long time that day would come and had gladly accepted this change when the White Guardian had proposed the plan, and as a result he had begun then to make changes for her to be able to merge in just this way. Verity knew the cost; we would be bound together, forever. She would be merged with a human and no longer be just a TARDIS, even as I would no longer be human but have to have a Gallifreyan physiology in order to survive the merging. Both portions of my new unified self had felt the price was more than worth it for our Thete, who has repeatedly sacrificed everything for others. Memories, that are new to me, show me how Verity had loved him almost from that first moment when he had come aboard her with the Hand of Omega, whose energy had given her a new life.

I, Rose, had fallen for the Doctor almost as quickly and though I only had a brief time to make the decision for this joining, it was a simple choice, as I was willing to die rather than see my Doctor permanently lost. I had made my choice long before we became lovers and I understood when Verity had explained it had been a gift of the White Guardian, changing Verity as he had and showing her the way to Thete's survival.

Even with all of this I still don't know how to tell him and I know it will only be a matter of time until the secret I, Rose/Verity/Bad Wolf, have will be a secret no longer. He proved that today when he defeated the Sycorax. He is healing far more rapidly now that the last vestiges of the vortex energy have been consumed. The shock of losing his hand in the sword battle had forced a mini regeneration to replace the amputated limb. This was something else I had done as Bad Wolf, seeing that he would be crippled by the injury otherwise, we had manipulating the events that would ensure he would be unharmed other than the initial trauma of the losing his hand and at the same time guaranteeing that all the extra energy he had absorbed was consumed. We had not consciously remembered doing any of that until the events unfold in front of our horrified eyes, causing an intense sense of déjà vu and making us wonder what other 'Easter eggs' we had peppered our future lives with, just waiting for the right combination of events to occur to unlock them.

I can only guess that the reason he doesn't know already is because of his exposure to the time Vortex. My Rose body shivers even as the hum of my engines shifts in our distress, that had been too close for comfort and he has been sick for the last two days causing us to fret. So scattered, it's the one thing that has been so difficult in this transition, our concentration has been rubbish.

My fingers move to my lips as I remember that kiss he gave us, in a way the first we have shared. The intensity of his love had been almost tangible, the sure and certain knowledge he loved our Rose body enough to die for her. I can't help but wonder if he will feel the same once he understands what I, we have become, he was after all willing to let my Verity self die while trying to ensure my Rose self's safety.

Logically, I know he was trying to save whom he could; unaware of the changes the Guardian had made that would allow her, me, to be able to live on independently. Unless drastic actions were taken, often a bonded TARDIS would self-destruct and so blocks had been built in by the Time Lords to prevent a TARDIS from acting on those desires until a new bond could be forged to help them get through their loss. Thete had known there would be no such option for Verity and had given her a choice even if he were to die. It had been obvious that he hoped we could bond, but he also had cared enough to give me the choice even knowing what he suspected that choice would be; in spite of that, as illogical as I know it to be, it still hurts. Now that we are one, will he hate us for stealing his Rose, for changing her or will he understand how much we both love him?

Finally, I give up brooding about this, as I did yesterday, and turn off the light.

As I lie here, we can't help but try to catalogue the feelings, emotions and sensations; there are so many new ones and we feel incredibly stimulated just in this existence. Tonight we completely gave up on nightclothes in favor of the decadent feeling of moving the new body across silky sheets. Climbing into bed, we can't help the thrill of pleasure that runs through us, at the delicious friction of the fabric, of everything feeling so different through new senses.

The Rose part of me has marveled at, and been seduced by, the delicious friction over our TARDIS skin and the warp of reality laid out to us via our TARDIS senses as well as the new joys found in language and in the precision of math. At the same time, our Verity self has reveled in the day-to-day sensations of touch taste smell hearing and sight all of which are so much different than senses she has lived with over a thousand years.

In one way we take our senses for granted as we always have, yet in another way every one of these experiences is brand new to part of us. So frequently it is confusing as to which body and which mind were in control and it is only been a day and a half since we have been able to properly get control of our new body's limbs.

We are one, yet we are still so very separate at times, and it makes quite the muddle of our thoughts, emotions and reactions even more so when were tired or excited. This is a large part of why I, no we, have been avoiding Theta - he needed to heal from his vortex poisoning and we needed to try to learn how to cope with being two beings sharing two bodies.

One thing is certain, and it makes me shiver when I feel his thoughts, Theta is dreaming about Rose me again. He has been dreaming of me on and off since the game station but he has been so sick it seemed wrong to go to him in spite of the content of those dreams. Today, well today has been a good day, and the lure of things he is doing with my dream self is just too strong for me to stay away.


	10. Revelations PGR

Chapter 10 - Revelations

"Rose what..." even as the words begin to form on my lips I realizes I have been dreaming about Rose again, and so intense I can't help but to look around for her and make me wonder if it was all a dream. The losses suddenly seem too much to bear. I mentally scream in frustration knowing the only one who might hear is one who understands the anguish of my soul. I don't even try to restrain the sob that threatens to choke me; it's so quiet, too quiet, and so empty and I'm so alone.

Then ever so quietly I hear "No Theta, not alone" two voices in my mind, echo those words spoken aloud by Rose. One of those voices is my beloved Verity who has been as silent and aloof as Rose has been physically distant, but the other comes from the woman in the doorway, belongs to Rose.

Rolling over to face the door I stare transfixed by the beauty standing there. "Rose?" my voice is scarcely louder than a whisper and I hardly dare to believe she might actually be here. She has been avoiding me and it has been breaking my hearts not being able to touch her. Ever since Woman Wept when we became lovers we have shared a bed but it has been difficult since I tried to pull the vortex from her. First their was the confusion of being in my old room then waking in Jackie's only to find myself again in here not in what has become our room when Verity refused me entrance. This seemed like the only bedroom she would allow me into, not that she has to explain why that is, as I know she must still be furious at me for forcing her to leave. But after Jackie's Christmas dinner I really felt the need for a lie down and as the old saying goes beggars can't be choosers.

But the more important question is why Rose is here now. My first thought is clawing panic that she is planning on leaving, as I have been unsure of how she has been taking all of this with having sent her home and me being ill. Even though she said nothing of wanting to stay at her mothers the way she has been acting it is almost as if she is frightened of me. I know I should be glad that she finally understands now how dangerous I am, but I can't stop feeling lost in her absence and the thought of hear leaving...

Ruthlessly I shove those thoughts aside. Then the full import of her, no their, presence in my mind suddenly slams home as my mind reruns the images of her return to the Game Station and I feel again the incredible need from her that I be safe, and protected and realize that the protection she sought was from far more then just the Daleks.

In a rush of thoughts I understand why I thought none of us had died that day and I know I was wrong. I see how Bad Wolf had rechanneled that destructive energy to rebuild Rose a new body and in that moment of clarity I know I am truly no longer alone. I can feel her in my mind, in that aching hole that since the last scream died has only produced a soul consuming silence. As I tentatively reach toward that presence I sense it is so much more. I am awed and utterly stunned as I realized what they have done. How could they? Why would they have done that? Why in the universe would they be so foolish to accept this kind of irreversible change?

"Because we love you Theta, you are our Doctor. You were willing to sacrifice everything to see me safe, how could we do any less?"

It is shock and anger that drives me to move from my bed and across the room to violently shake her, "You don't know me Rose! You have no idea of what I am or what I am capable of don't you understand I'm not worth that kind of price! How could you be so foolish?" I stand amazed a she seems unfazed by any of my distress.

* * *

Standing our ground with all the tenacity Verity has developed from traveling with him for the last 800 plus years I retort, "Yes I do! We are, Verity and I are aware of exactly who and what you are! What she has seen so have I. I have seen it all though her senses, she has been there with you, the thousands of times you saved others at the risk of your own life, the Time War, everything... I have seen it all now and I," I struggle with the proper self-tenses as the intense emotions make it hard to separate Verity's and my reactions to his harsh words. The desperate need to express to him how much we both love him temporarily confusing me. "We only want you more because I do understand what you have sacrificed. Not just for me but for everyone, to us you are worth it all, worth more then we could ever give you." Moving my arms from his fingers that have gone lax from their punishing grip, I reach up to gently cradle his face in my hands "Please my Doctor, don't be angry, we only did this because we love you and couldn't bear to live without you."

* * *

All the anger I have drains from me as I realize what she is saying. Feeling the truth in every thought, every word, I am stunned by this new knowledge and I don't know what to say as I feel the tears begin to freely flow down my face. I feel utterly unworthy of this sacrifice they have made for me. I am overwhelmed by the intensity of the love they are pushing through both the connection Verity and I have shared all these years and at the same time through the newly formed mental connection between Rose and I created by her change of species.

My beautiful ladies have bound themselves together for me and I am humbled by their actions. I don't know what all of this means but I do know that I am loved far more then I can properly grasp at this moment and I am sure it is far more then I deserve.

* * *

Seeing his tears I draw him to me, letting him cry for a bit. There are now no secrets left between us. I hold him and the part of my consciousness that was originally Verity relishes in the feel of him in my arms, she has wanted to hold and comfort him like this ever since the war and has had no way to do so. Now through the body we share we both can hold him and give him the love we have for him, that we know he needs and has more then earned regardless of his ability to believe in his own value.

* * *

Rose and I have been lovers for awhile now even as I had once taken comfort in Verity's mental embraces but now it is again like I am exposed before them both for the first time as I hold the vessel of their joined consciousness. I am unsure if I can stand the exposure of being known so intimately but for their sake I would attempt anything even as they have accomplished the impossible for me.

Suddenly I don't know what to do. Embarrassment floods me as I realize that Rose is probably aware of exactly the kind of relationship Verity and I have had and the manner in which she has shared my mind even as I have shared hers. It is a mental bond in many ways far more intimate then the temporary physical and mental connections Rose and I have made over this past year. I can feel the blush of embarrassment cross my skin as I experience this epiphany and can't help but wonder what she thinks of all of this.

* * *

Before he can become any further embarrassed I speak. "Now that's over, and we all are going to discover something new." I smile at his boggled expression and realize that any time now he will begin to finally catch up on the possibilities that we spent a fair amount of time considering yesterday before I finally slipped into slumber. Verity has assured me as time goes on I will need to sleep less but for now it will take some time for me to get adjusted to the higher mental demands currently causing me to need more. I for one am content on that score because of the lovely dreams I have of the Doctor most nights.

* * *

I can't help but think of how they both have given up so much to save me and as I fully realize how much I struggle to shield her from the sudden tsunami of thoughts of why this is so overwhelming that blast their way in to our link and I feel her tremble next to me as we both feel a sense of remorse well up within us; hers stemming from reminding me of how much I have lost and mine from not being able to protect her from the onslaught of grief.

I feel suddenly overwhelmed as Rose encloses me in her embrace clutching me tightly to her as at the same time I feel Verity's mental strokes of comfort. So much physical and psychic stimulation after so long alone without this kind of intimacy makes me begin to shake and I can't seem to stop. The comfort of her arms enfolding me brings me again to tears as I nuzzle her neck. I try to force my breathing under control and in the process I register her scent, some how it is still distinctly Rose and I hope that she never feels she has lost more then she has gained though I can't see how she, no they won't eventually resent me for this decision they have made in spite of their claim of truly knowing me.

* * *

I too begin to cry as I feel the grief descend on him like a rapacious living thing and the guilt at not being able to keep me from sensing it. 'It's okay Theta. I'm here, we're here and we're not going any where.' I feel my throat tighten in response to his brokenness far more intense then he ever let me sense as Rose alone and hold him closer as I feel him tremble. I know there is nothing else I can do. I remember through Verity's memories how much it hurt to watch him suffering after the destruction of our planet unable to give him the kind of comfort he so desperately needed most at that time. We tighten our arms about his form knowing that we won't ever let him be alone like that again.

As I feel him slowly beginning to calm again I know that no matter what else happens I am going to do my best to insure that the joy he has shown me already is returned as many times over as possible. I feel Rose agree with me, he needs this, we need this, and we can also think of no better time to start then now. It is time to find out what ways we can make his pain go away for as long as we can. I let my hands began their own explorations stroking them across his shoulders I feel the solid muscles of his lean frame.

Many times I had fantasized about how it would feel to have his solid body pressed tight to mine like this, even occasionally being tempted to dip into the dreams of his few lovers to see what it would feel like. Always I have refrained knowing it was not my place. I run my hands across his back, all the new sensations, I never suspected they would feel this intense, this delicious and not just for me, but Rose too is feeling overwhelmed by the incredible senses of him that she has never before experienced in spite of being his human lover.

"We love you my doctor," we say gently caressing his cheek. "And we will never let you go." Our eyes lock and I notice their different now from the changes that Rose had noticed occurred as she had made love to him as a human. Instead of the almost black appearance caused by his pupil's dilation they have become the most intense blue I have ever seen with flecks of gold. I feel intense desire flare from him almost daring me to take action and I wonder what my own eyes look like now. I can tell he is unsure what exactly I am planning, but I sure he knows I am planning something. I spread a slow sexy smile across our face and lean forward for a kiss.

"Rose…" he say and reaches to touch our face.

"No, my love no longer just Rose we are Wolf. " I quietly whisper.

With his trademark grin he states, "Rose and Verity my beautiful Bad Wolf you are utterly FANTASTIC!" a deep blush flares across me. At his exuberant statement I look down embarrassed at being the focus of such delight. Gently lifting my face with a forefinger he says completely sober for moment as our eyes lock "I mean it, you are utterly fantastic!" he reiterates with quiet vehemence.

The intensity in his eyes tells me he means every word and I slide over and hug him tightly to me but as that is not nearly enough I swoop forward to work on snogging him senseless

* * *

I can feel a craving from her the likes of which I haven't felt it in a lover in a very, very long time, the incredible coming together of mind and body with another of my own kind to which I know I am already hopelessly addicted. I had thought this lost to me forever and I feel like am about to burst with gratitude for what they have done, what the have given me back through their selfless actions.

I notice though she is still a bit clumsy and wonder if it is because of what we were just doing or if she is still adjusting to the changes. I am glad at least she didn't change appearance as well for both our sake. From my own experience I know it's hard enough getting used to a new body without adding large height or girth changes on top of that. Going from my sixth to seventh body had been particularly frustrating with the height and reach changes.


	11. Commitments PGR

Chapter 11 - Commitments

We both still have on us ash from the Sycorax ship and neither of us wish to go to bed with that on us. "Shower or bath?" he asks sensing where my thoughts have gone. I am much too tired to stand and so I reply "Bath I think." I pause leaning against the nearby wall as I move the hot tub room to connect to this bedroom and the bedroom he and Rose had been sharing. I know it has been bothering him being in the bedroom he used in his fourth regeneration but I wasn't ready to share our room with him yet and I didn't want him to start thinking of it as just his room again. I know I was being selfish and a bit childish about not giving in to his desire earlier but as he so correctly guessed I was, and if I am honest, still am a somewhat mad at him for leaving us behind like he did. I know he, as a rule really, dislikes his old bedrooms, as they tend to remind him of his own mortality and as he rarely has similar tastes regarding décor so he prefers to make a clean break when he changes rather than try to make the old things fit.

The warmth of his arm sliding around me brings me back to the present and I look up, realizing how long I have been standing here.

* * *

I watch as Rose crosses the room and I can feel how tired she is from here. I know how tired I feel and I haven't had to adjust to a whole new body like she has. I still marvel at what happened today with my hand though and realize it makes a lot more sense in the perspective of what I have now learned. In spite of our similar outward appearances there are a lot of internal differences between Humans and Gallifreyans. Binary vascular system, respiratory by-pass system extensive ability to regulate our own bodies functioning and quite a few other systems that operate in a more complex manner not the least of which is our central nervous system and brains. I am actually surprised she is managing as well as has she is considering all the mental rewiring that had to have happened to produce the obvious mental connections between Verity's TARDIS body and hers. All of these changes being on top of all the differences between her old human form and the new Gallifreyan one. I know in my own changes, my body is hypersensitive to so many things right after regeneration and I know I will need to be extra gentle with her. She may be fine, but still best to be careful, brains can be very delicate things and there is no question hers has had quite the shock even without factoring in the huge the increase in information she is getting from her new senses.

I reach out and pull her into my side so she can lean on me and gently I guide her through the bathroom to the sunken hot tub that is now on the other side of the shower door. Shedding our clothes we walk over to the steps and I don't release my hold on her but instead guide her down the steps. The temperature is perfect and I smile as I realize Verity must have adjusted it to the lower heat that I prefer rather than what I have had her setting the temperature to in the tubs which Rose and I normally share and at which Rose felt more comfortable.

"Figured it might be more comfortable this way now. Why did you never tell me it was hotter than you liked?" Her quiet words surprise me as I hadn't thought it though, realizing that going forward I won't have to be broadcasting for her to be able to pick up my thoughts any more than I have had to make a special effort for Verity. The fact that the default in my life is once again connected not separate, partly terrifies me even as another part is comforted by no longer being alone in my head. Swallowing, I go to reply but not really having any answer I just shrug instead.

* * *

I am so tired but the sight of the hot tub really does look inviting. This small grotto I know is one of his favorites looks much like secluded small mountain lake. Only the steps leading down into the water really give away the fact that it's not what it appears. The plants that surround the pool love the warmth and moisture generated by the hot tub and a number of the plants put out pleasant soothing scents. One of the connected spaces is a small, forested area of a few acres that contains a variety of semi-tame wildlife that will often come to drink here. We keep no predators so the animals can be quite bold at times. Something that never seems to quit delighting him and thus me is when they approach him without hesitation. He has never given any of them reason to fear him it is just the nature of wild animals, particularly herbivores everywhere, to be wary of possible predators. Theta has always been a study in contrasts but never more so than in this regeneration, something that more than once has been a point of frustration for both Rose and I. The gruff face he puts out for the world in sharp contrast to his gentleness and appreciation of the plants and animals here is just one example.

I delight in the tender way he guides us into the pool, I know he has figured out in spite of our attempts to hide it that we are really far more tired than we had thought. As we enter I catch his appreciation of the temperature change and realize he had never let on that the greater heat bothered him as he always insisted the hot tubs they shared be set to be more comfortable to Rose.

I feel his slight start as Rose asks him why. At the discomfort that I pick up at the thought that we read his mind we reach out and caress the side of his cheek. "It's just me, were not going to hurt you Theta." Even as I speak the words though I know that it is going to take us some time for all of us to get used to this. I feel Rose's panic that he doesn't want us and try not to join her in that, not the easiest task when you share a mind with someone. Instead I try to lose us in the act of holding him. We have moved chest deep in the water and I lean into his solid frame. I think of the differences between Humans and Gallifreyans as I listen to his hearts. Never had Rose suspected how sensitive his senses are; yet one of the many pieces of information he had hidden. He has tried to protect him self from those that would exploit such information to hurt him even as he had, unsuccessfully, in the same way tried to protect his hearts from falling in love with Rose by not telling her many things about himself.

* * *

I draw her in holding her, marveling at what has brought us here. As I feel her lips on my neck I shiver. In response, I caress her hair and move down to pull her tighter as she presses close softly kissing her hair as I do so.

I tense for a moment as her fingers seek out the clusters of nerves along the bottom of my shoulder blades teasing them with gentle strokes until I feel her slide into my mind as her touch opens the enhanced mental connection those nerves were designed to facilitate. I feel Rose's surprise as she does, as well as Verity's delight at successfully making a connection in this manner. Closing my eyes I focus on the sensation of there presence, Rose, no, not just Rose but my Verity too. It's so hard for me to believe that they would want this, but there is no denying the proof I hold in my arms and mind.

* * *

He gently pushes us back so he can look us in the eyes saying. " I want to make love to you."

At his final statement I shiver and my whole body gets goose bumps at his words, spoken not in human words or voice, but melodically, tenderly, and in an almost dead language, our language now.

I respond in the only way I can in the same language, but I do not speak the words aloud not trusting my mouth and voice to be able to say these words correctly so I say it mind to mind. 'I love you Theta,.' and in this Verity and I are in complete agreement and we feel his understanding that the words are from both of us in spite of being in a language I didn't previously know prior to our merging.

As I do I know that the time is right for him to fully understand the depth of our feelings so I reach out and place a palm over each of his hearts. Speaking words of which I know he will immediately know the meaning and request behind. This time I do speak aloud asit was, at one time, necessary to be legally binding. I know that even if he does not choose to return our words, and act on their explicit request they will be no less true. Locking gazes with him I state, "I, Rose Verity Marion TARDIS Taylor, for all time pledge to you the beating of my hearts and the devotion of my love. For all time we are yours."

For a long moment I can feel his hearts race beneath my palms as he struggles with surprise and intense emotions. I feel the strength of the feelings welling up within him and it forces him to take a deep breath before he can respond, and respond he does as he comes to a decision. Far more fluidly than I; using all of his voice in ways I never have heard him use in Rose's presence.

* * *

I am stunned as she speaks the simple words of a permanent marriage commitment and I can feel the truth and desire as clear as can be from both of them as she speaks them. , The multiple connections between or minds make her desire clearly resound in my mind. My first reaction being that she doesn't know what she is saying, which is immediately dismissed. Verity knows and Rose wouldn't even know the words to ask if it were not for their merging. It is so incredibly hard to believe that she, they want this with me, as broken and damaged as they both know I am it seems impossible, but her every action in the last seventy-two hours has spoken very clearly of how fully they know their own minds in this matter. What they were willing to give up to be with me and I know I would have to be a fool to turn my back on such a gift so freely and lovingly given. Even as I think this through I am amazed by them and know there is nothing in this universe I want more than to spend the rest of my lives getting to know this incredible set of ladies who have bound themselves together into one being for my sake.

With this understanding, I finally consciously accept that which my hearts have known for a long time - she already owns both my body and mind. Fighting my own continuing disbelief I look deep into her eyes for some indication this is not really their desire, any kind of hesitation or nervousness; and find none.

* * *

He steps leans forward, looking deeply into our eyes, and I know he is asking if this is really what we want. A at my nod, he places his palms on my back directly behind each of my racing hearts and speaking in a rich melodious voice that I am sure would make angels weep from it's beauty as he replies, "I, Theta Sigma of the House of Lungburrow, pledge all my lives to you. I give to you all I am for eternity and declare, the universe as my witness, to be, here forth, your champion, lover, and friend for all of time."

With the word forever on our lips we seal our bond with a kiss and I hold on to him for dear life, as I know what will come next. Even as I think of it I feel the tendrils of his being reaching out, every spot where our bodies are in contact begins to hum with energy, a steady powerful vibration that sets the water surrounding us to shimmying.

I place my head on his shoulder and slide my hands around to mirror the placement of his on my back and gripping him a bit tighter I begin to pant as the energy he is unleashing surrounds me pressing in on me and possessing me. Even as I do we are pressing our own energy out in possession of him. We are permeating each of his cells marking him as our own even as his does the same to us. Our bodies are shimmering, enveloped in released Arton energy. I can't speak, can't even breathe, as the energy continues to build we are no longer separate, he is with us. Our minds shoved together irresistibly, where before we were bound together as Bad Wolf by the Vortex now we are again fully Bad Wolf, one being, but we are also the Oncoming Storm as our life energies flows freely, mingling between us, healing and binding us together. As the energy reaches the core of our bodies we begin to shake in each other's arms the blazing energy moving from organ to organ bringing on the most intense sensations we have ever experienced as our minds link together with his in an unbreakable bond. Just when it reaches the point where I feel I can't last another moment with out bursting into the flames of regeneration from the intensity of it, our energy separates and rushes back to it sources within us. It happens so quickly I know if he weren't holding me I would collapse and I can feel his body still trembling even as mine is but still he is more stable on his feet than I, though not by a lot. For long minutes we stand plastered together feeling the passing of each moment with intense clarity, the movement of the universe and the flow of the Vortex. Knowing now there is no place in this universe where we will be unable to sense each other's life force on a cellular level.

* * *

The exhaustion hits as the bonding completes and I feel Wolf's knees buckle and I hold her just a bit tighter till she can get her legs under her again. For long minutes all either of us is up to is to just stand holding each other the bright blaze of the new bond is sharp and intense in our mindescape, far stronger and more permanent than any other connection we have ever or will ever make. I know we need to move and I finally have some hope now of not falling down in the process. Guiding us over to the side of the pool we sit for a few moments snuggled into each other, and I brush the damp hair from her tired, glazed eyes. Gently I wash away the final traces of why we had come into the tub in the first place and pick her up. She begins to protest, but after a moment of consideration instead curls further into my chest as I carry her up the stairs leading out of the hot tub heading for our bedroom. Unsure why I delight so in seeing one of the rabbit like animals that live in this area sitting and watching us. As I pause Rose looks up and smiles as she too spots our furry little friend. Much as I would enjoy some other time getting some treats for him, today that is not on the agenda, and I continue forward to our bedroom door which promises warm clean bedding in which I can snuggle and get much needed sleep with my new bride.


	12. Old Things New Again

Chapter 0.12 - Old Things New Again

When we awake the next morning I know everything has changed and smile at Rose as she stirs in her sleep. It is hard to believe that she is now my wife, my mate, truly now my other half. I gently finger the bite mark on her neck I don't remember giving her. In the process she wakes, it feels like an internal dawn as I feel the bright presence of her mind in mine burst into greater brightness as she wakes. As she does, she reaches and touches a comparable mark on my own neck and smiles. 'Mine', is her one word thought, I know how very true it is for both of us, and I echo it back.

For long moments we both look at each other, neither of us is quite sure what to say about the events of the last two days, but knowing no words are really needed. As the moments draw out, we just look at each other, reveling in that knowledge and the feel of the other and the realization that we can do this every day for the rest of our lives. We can wake up in each others arms everyday and it is such a lovely thought that neither of us is ready to surrender it to the day, so with her body comfortably tucked in next to mine and her head resting on my shoulder, we instead stay in bed.

* * *

I wake at his touch, delightfully stiff from our exuberant activities of the night before but not nearly as sore as before and I figure it has to do with my new physiology. I am still trying to get used to the idea of no more leisurely waking up, as so far, other than that first morning when I was so disoriented, I have yet to do so and I understand from Verity that this is the norm not the exception. One minute I'm asleep the next wide-awake -handy but I do kind of miss the gentle progression. Though waking with no 'morning' breath in the arms of the man I am hopelessly in love with, I don't think that will ever get old.

'Interesting concept, this sleeping humans seem to love so,' Comes Verity's comment and I start just a little bit. It's one thing to logically know you are sharing your mind with someone else; it is entirely different to try to live with the fact. Knowing that at any moment she may comment on my thoughts, even as I would be able to do the same to her, the only thing is she has been doing this telepathy thing for so much longer than I and so she doesn't bombard me constantly with her thoughts for which I am very thankful. I feel a sense of apology come from Verity, which doesn't require a reply. Theta's, 'You okay?' does.

Looking up into his gorgeous blue eyes I give him a rueful smile, and feel his mental preen that I like them, and state aloud, "Yeah, Jus' a bit crowded in here these days," deliberately switching to a verbal response trying to reduce the sudden sense of claustrophobia caused by too many people in my head. I am grateful as a moment later he leans back from his protective curl about my body and withdraws mentally until I am left with just the sense of his existence which, as my bond mate, I know will be with me at all times now.

"Better?" is his quiet question and suddenly the physical distance he has just created is too much and I gently pull him back, so I can return to my snuggle into his side and nod my head in reply, surprising all of us as I begin to cry.

"Rose what's the matter?" comes his quiet concerned question and I can't say at first why and I just shake my head as the thoughts of how close we came to never having this wash over me. His response is warm and gentle as he pulls me a bit closer, hugging me to him even as I can clearly feel both Verity's and his supportive concern.

As the tightness in my throat begins to ebb a bit with the release of built up stress I am finally able to put into words what it is that has upset me. Swatting his chest, I look up at him and push back so I can look him in the eye. "You nearly died you git!" I state with all the built up hurt that his action created. "If we hadn't come back for you would have. You pushed us away, and you expected us to live without you." At that statement, I feel a surge of agreement from Verity and know that without question he has felt it as well. "Don't you dare ever try to do that again you hear us!"

At his pained look, my heart wrenches, and I suddenly want him never to have that expression on his face again but this, this is too important to let him off the hook.

"Rose, Verity, my sweet Wolf I…" he says reaching for us and we won't have it.

"No, Theta Sigma! You listen, and you listen well, you will never do that to us again or so help me we will hunt you down and regenerate you ourselves. We will not leave you behind like that again so don't ask, don't even think of trying it, it's not an option. We are in this together to our final regeneration, so you best take good care of yourself because we will not let you leave us behind again and if you do manage it we will follow you regardless of where you may go." At that, his eyes widen, as he knows exactly what we mean, we will follow him into death itself. "Are we clear on this?"

"I..." I glare at him as he looks like he wants to make some excuse "Yes, very clear." I can see how uncomfortable he is with this but I will not, we will not, compromise on this issue - we love him too much.

"Good, now…" I give him a cheeky smile and move in to remind him why he should never leave us behind.

* * *

Finally, we can postpone the inevitable no longer and climb from our nest. Time to get back to exploring and let mum know we will be back soon. Much as we will concern her leaving, I know, now and forever more my place will be at my Doctor's side.

My future is now tied unalterably to Verity's and his and I wouldn't have it any other way. From those first excruciatingly painful moments when the essence of the vortex began pouring into my body, burning me with each painfully inhaled breath, I knew things would never be the same. As my senses exploded and I left behind my simple five senses, I knew from that moment that I would experience nothing in the same way, ever again. I rediscover yet again one of the hardest things, besides constantly having someone in my head, are the change in tastes and smells as we make breakfast. So many of the foods I pull from the fridge and cupboard seem overpowering, and off. Foods that have always gone well together now smell nauseating until finally I can help but look at him in frustration. "How do you do this?"

The expression he gives me is an odd one. "Do what Rose?" he says as he cracks an egg on the side of the pan and I suddenly want to gag and step back from the smell.

Holding my nose, I wave at the egg that is beginning to bubble in the hot pan. "Rose?" he asks with a concerned expression on his face, that if the egg didn't smell quite so vile would be endearing.

"It smells disgusting!" I state, and stare at him in disbelief that it seems to be having no affect at all on him.

'It really does smell nasty Theta' I hear Verity tell him and he looks back at the pan that he has walked away from at my distress and I feel her turn off the heat beneath the offending object.

The expression on his face is almost comical as he realizes what we are upset about and looks like he is about to laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"Verity, show Rose about what Romana thought of fried eggs." Suddenly I get the memory of a beautiful Time Lady, that Verity's memory tells me is Romana, railing at Theta over exactly how horrid it smelled and how could he even consider putting such a disgusting thing in his mouth. Yet, she had watched him eat every bite in complete fascination and not a small bit of disbelief. Suddenly I am laughing so hard I have tears running down my face at the comical expressions she gave him as she watched.

His expression is sweet and endearing as he watches bemused at my reaction. Suddenly I am crumpling, as I can't stop laughing feeling panicked as I realize again what a huge and irreversible step I have taken.

I know he can sense the shift as he comes forward and wraps his arms around me quietly rocking me. I love him so very much, but I'm so scared. Everything is different a bit too bright, bit too loud and a bit too …

* * *

Everything feels so odd. Getting used to seeing things as Rose does can be very disorienting at times as she keeps moving in ways that are so very different to that which I am familiar. I am finding it is much easier to just filter out her sensations than try to integrate them but still I know that I am going to have to eventually.

The feeling of lying in our Theta's arms though is sheer bliss and I too regret it when we finally have to get up. As we move to the kitchen to make breakfast things start to get very odd as I feel Rose's distress over how different things smell with this new body. When Theta begins to fry an egg though I also feel the complete revulsion at the smell and feel the roiling of Rose's stomach as the odor assaults her senses.

It is not until she begins laughing that I know something is very wrong. I feel her legs buckle and both observe as well as feel Theta moving to comfort us in that disorienting feeling of being in two places at the same time to which I am only just starting to growing accustom. Her blood pressure is spiking and I feel all of her senses start to send in far to much information for her to properly process. I have to fight to keep her from dragging me down into unconsciousness with her as she blacks out. It's only Theta's panic that keeps me from completely shutting down

Seconds later I feel him scooping her up and heading for the med bay. 'Verity!' his mental shouts like a bullhorn and I suddenly realize how badly this is affecting me as well, forcing myself to concentrate I shut out the sensations coming from Rose.

'Verity, stick with me! I need you to help me with her. What is going on?'

'Flux, everything is in flux.' Even as I try to concentrate enough to explain he is running his sonic screwdriver over her body and taking readings. As he plugs it in to one of the diagnostic devices, I suddenly understand what is happening.


	13. Changes

Many thanks to all of those who have made this story that you want to be alerted when new chapters post welcome to Dreamcatcher49, and as always many thanks to my reviewers and extra thanks to the most faithful of these MythStar Black Dragon. Now on with the story.

Chapter 4.13 -Changes

As we head for the kitchen, I watch Rose move. She still seems a bit unsteady and when I ask she blushes a deep shade of crimson and I realize that she is stiff from our previous activities. I can't help but sweep her into my arms for another kiss and I feel a flood of gratitude pour through me for everything she, no they, have given me. I leave her breathless, standing in the middle of the room, as I begin to collect items for breakfast. A moment later, she moves to join me. At her first exclamation, I am a bit concerned; by her second, she has my full attention.

As she explains, I am reminded of the first time I cooked fried eggs around Romana. At her stormy reaction to my amusement, I remind Verity of it and I can tell she is sharing it with Rose as Rose bursts into laughter.

I love watching her delight, and I realize with a smile that it doesn't hurt remembering Romana any more. As her laughter turns to tears and takes on a hysterical tone I rush forward, catching her just as her knees buckle.

As Rose passes out, and I feel Verity begin to grow more distant in my head, and panic begins to set in. I shout to her even as I scoop up my Rose's unresisting form and head for the Med bay.

As I see the lights in the room around me begin to dim I yell, "Verity, stick with me! I need you to help me with her. What's going on?"

The confusion I feel coming through in her mental voice terrifies me as much as her words, 'Flux, everything is in flux.' I lay Rose down in one of the beds and begin to scan her over for an explanation as to what is happening. I knew I shouldn't have waited! The moment they had told me, I should have brought her in here immediately and checked her out properly. But no, I had to let myself get swept away in their gifts and now, now it's once again time to pay for my stupidity. As I finish the scan, I stare at the results and none of them seem to make sense, as it tells me she should be fine.

Plugging the screwdriver into the one of the diagnostic ports, I feel understanding from Verity and can't help but shout, "What! What's wrong? Tell me how to fix this!"

Her response is to materialize a small IV bag of fluids near my hand. I ask nothing further as I quickly set it up but as I do, she visualizes a string of chemical structures. As I finish setting up the IV, it dawns on me what things contain those main components. "Tea, bananas and raspberries? You're having me give her a liquid lunch?" I ask in complete disbelief.

Even as I ask, I can feel Rose growing stronger and begin to rise toward wakefulness.

Verity's reply is gentle and only contains a touch of amusement at my pronouncement. "What three things do you always crave right after a regeneration?"

I can only stare in shock as I realize again that Rose really is like me. Even after everything that happened last night, it still hadn't sunk in completely - Rose is now a Gallifreyan. I am really am not alone anymore, but as such she has our weaknesses as well.

"Wha?" comes Rose's confused response as she wakes and realizes where she is, and that she has an IV in her arm.

The look on her face is so befuddled that I instantly reach out and caress her cheek. "It's okay, everything's going to be all right now."

"But what happened? One minute icky egg, the next I'm laughing and can't see straight, then..."

"Bit of a delayed reaction, actually," I state sheepishly "You see…"

"Regeneration sickness," she states and I realize Verity has brought her up to speed as to what has happened.

"Yeah, the process is a bit dodgy at times. It doesn't…"

"Peri, you tried to strangle Peri" She blurts out and then with a look of horror she says quietly. "I didn't try…"

"No!" both Verity and I proclaim at the same time. "Just some after-affects of your regeneration. Some of us stabilize better after regeneration when certain nutrients are available and you needed them and didn't have them. I just didn't think…" I stumble to a halt as I realize that she needn't have had to go through that if I just done what was right in the first place. I look up at her soft touch.

"Not like we didn't have a few other things on our mind at the time." I can't help but smile at the mischievous look on her face and as the banana-like smell of her pheromones begins to fill the air.

"Yes, well, I ah…" I swallow as I feel their impact and I know that if we don't go back to the kitchen and get some proper nutrition in her we will be straight back here, and nothing good will come of that. So instead of doing what I would very much like to do, I intercept her hand as she reaches for my waist. "Now Ms. Tyler, I believe you have a date with some breakfast." Making quick work of disposing of the now empty IV and sealing the puncture, I give her no chance to protest and sweep her from the bed and into my arms, heading for the kitchen.

"I can walk, you know."

"Yes."

"So you could put me down!"

"Yes, I believe I could." On saying that I continue the short distance to the kitchen, making no move to deposit her back on her feet, and for that I can feel her slight exasperation that I haven't. As we reach the table, I pull out one of chairs with my foot and slowly let her down, hugging her close to me, as I can't quite bring my self to release her so she can actually sit down.

After too brief a time, she states, "You can let go of me you know."

Pushing back slightly so I can look her in the eyes I state from the bottom of my hearts, "No, I don't think so, I don't think I will ever be able to let you go."

* * *

I stare up at his earnest expression; I feel the same. Hugging him tightly, I state into his chest, "Not going to let you go either; not ever!" For long minutes we just stand there until a loud banging on the TARDIS door announces my mum's arrival.

I listen to his deep sigh as I put some space between us, and state, "Guess I should let her in, then." As I turn to go greet her, he stops me with pleading in his eyes that I know he would never speak, "Stay here - Verity will get you what you need and I will get your mum." I know he isn't as reluctant as he is making out to be to have her here, but I also know that he wishes she wasn't as well.

I stare at him a moment, knowing his disinclination in dealing with my mum is nowhere near the unwillingness he feels at leaving me right now; I can still feel the remnants of the fear that has left him shaken in spite of his attempts to hide it from me. So, instead of fighting him for his high-handedness in telling me what to do, I kiss his cheek

Verity's quiet thought comes to me. 'Thank you, Rose.'

'Anytime, we have to take care of our Theta, even if the best way sometimes to do that is to take care of us.'

'He has…' her words trail off as I sense her memories of the desperate loneliness that he has never wanted me to see. I also know she understands that, even in spite of his desires to hide it, I too have seen it in him. Even before I had access to Verity's vast set of memories and experiences of traveling with him, it had been clear to me. Her memories have just made it apparent how much worse it has been since the war.

As I feel a wave of dizziness, I shift. I have to smile though as mum comes in, all bluster at the fact that neither the Doctor nor I have seen fit to make an appearance after his 'abrupt' departure the night before. Not that I blame him one bit, mum isn't one of the best cooks and even before I changed there was more than once that her meals were not exactly very palatable. I was actually surprised he even showed up for dinner with his avowed dislike of domestics, let alone that he stayed as long as he did. I could tell, though, that he really thought he should after her kindness in helping me get him through the worst of the vortex poisoning. I love him for the effort, but neither Mickey nor mum made it very easy on him at first, even if things did lighten up as the evening progressed.

I can see her through Verity's sensors as mum continues to nag at him, and I can feel his frustration building until finally he turns to her and blurts out something we all know will stop her cold. "Rose isn't feeling well!" he states and turns to head back in my direction. She comes to a screeching halt just up from the kitchen and I hear her shout "What! Is she all right? Can I see her? Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you get me? Where is she?"

As I hear her winding up for more yelling, I get up from the table and move to the door before she can start in on him again.

"I'm here, mum." With that, I am enveloped in her embrace and I can feel Theta's relief at being rescued from her anxious questioning. As she continues to hug me, she begins another round of questions and I want to sigh at how predictable she can be at times. I stick my tongue out at Theta over mum's shoulder as I see him smirking behind her and feel his amusement. A moment later, he relents and gently untangles me from her as he guides us both back into the kitchen while stating. "Rose eat. Mrs. Tyler, I can explain."

* * *

It is a couple of hours before mum has had enough of her questions answered to assure her that not only is this temporary, but that I should suffer no long lasting effects from the delay in getting me the nutrition I needed. After Theta had made sure I had eaten enough to ensure that I would be fine, he left me to deal with mum. I kept feeling waves of guilt from him and I knew that it wouldn't matter what I said he would still continue beating him self up about it, so I was more relieved than irritated when he headed off to check on something. 'Need to check on something', I long ago figured out, translated to 'I don't want to talk about this' and so it doesn't really surprise me much when I sense he has gone to the library instead of the control room.

As he begins perusing the huge number of shelves that are contained within, I find myself very curious. I can't help but wonder what it is that he is looking for, when he moves into the area where he stores the books written in Gallifreyan.

"Rose, are you okay?" comes mum's soft words and I realize I have lost track of the conversation.

"Sorry mum, what were you saying?"

"Are you sure that you're all right?" she asks. I notice her aborted move to touch my forehead to check to see if I have a temperature and feel a pang of sadness at this familiar action. "I know he said that you should be fine but he… Well, sometimes I wonder if he is telling me only what I want to hear."

"Mum, he wouldn't lie to you," I protest.

She is quick to state, "Not that I think he would outright lie to me, I just think he might not tell me everything I need to know, everything you need to know. Are you sure you can trust him?"

"Mum! I trust him with my life! I trust both of them with my life, if I didn't I would have never agreed to the changes. Please trust _me_ on this they are worth every bit of trust I have given them." The look she gives me is intense, and I know she is afraid for me, and what the future that I have chosen means for my life. My hearts break just a little when I realize how much she loves me and how hard this must be for her. It also tells me I need to tell her about the events of last night to help her understand I am not alone in my feelings of love and trust.

'Is that wise Rose?' comes Verity's soft thought.

'Wise or not she's my mum and she is entitled to know her daughter is not going to be abandoned on some planet some place far away from her where I can never get back.'

'He's not going to be happy.'

'No, but he will understand.'

Reaching across the table, I take mum's hands. "Mum, I have something else I need to tell you." As I feel her tense, I quickly reassure her. "Nothing bad. You asked me if the Doctor really cares for me, yesterday evening we were married."

"You mean you ran off and got married without..." she begins indignantly.

"Mum it was a private ceremony, right here in the TARDIS, in the way of his people. It was just us, no one else, we didn't go anywhere."

"But... "

"Mum, please don't," I ask as I know she had such hopes for a wedding where she could show off what a wonderful husband I had found. I have shattered so many hopes and dreams she had for my future in these last few days and I can't help but be sad for being such a disappointment. However, all that comes out is, "I just wanted you to know so you wouldn't worry." I know I will never regret my choice to spend the rest of my life, lives now, with the Doctor and I need her to understand that as well.

"Oh Rose." With that she envelopes me in her arms and I know I need to talk to the Doctor as I feel as much sadness from her as I do joy for me as she says, "I hope all the best for you, you know that don't you sweetheart?

I answer, "Yes, mum," as I decide maybe, I can give her back at least this one dream for me if I can get the Doctor to agree.

"But Rose, are you sure? People get married all the time and it doesn't work out."

I want to cry out in frustration at her words and her lack of understanding. "Not like this mum. His mind is bound to mine, as mine is to his - there is no divorce, this is permanent for the rest of our lives."

"You mean he's in your head like the ship?"

"Yes and no." I state trying to figure out how to explain bonding. "It's like the difference between those twins who are stuck together and close mates. Verity and I, we merged, our minds are tied together and we share the same minds and bodies. What she feels so do I, all the time, even as the reverse is true, we can be separate to some extent because Verity has lots of experience as a telepath. She helps me filter out a lot of the stuff that goes on so I don't get too overwhelmed, and as time goes by, I'm sure it will get easier."

"What I have now with the Doctor, though, is a link. I can touch his mind or he mine and we will always know the other is there, that they're safe, okay, and it will help us find each other again if we get separated."

With a worried expression she persists "But why, Rose? Wasn't it enough having one alien in your head? I just don't understand, sweetheart."

"He needed this, we need this. Time Lords were never meant to be alone. Every Gallifreyan on some level can always feel the rest." The expression on her face tells me that she doesn't think that sounds like something very positive and I try to explain another way. "Imagine always having that comforting hum in the back of your mind coming from being able to sense all the others from the day you were born, never knowing complete silence and safe in the knowledge you were never alone, then one day they're all gone. Not just gone but ripped from your mind with only silence left behind."

At this her eyes go wide in horror as suddenly understands exactly what I am saying. "Humans are used to that kind of quiet because it's all we have ever known, but it's not natural for Time Lords."

"Rose, I just worry you have given up so much."

"Mum, I gave up being human for him do you think I would not give him this small comfort? I know having me with him will never be able to make up for the loss of his entire people and lesser man would have been driven insane by that kind of loneliness. I never want him to feel that again; not when it's unnecessary!"

I jump as I hear Theta's quiet words from behind me. "Mrs. Tyler, you never need fear I will voluntarily leave her behind _anywhere_. She is the most precious thing in the universe to me." His words are so compelling I know that it will be impossible for me to ever forget them as I feel them reverberate through my very being. I also know without question, based on the expression on her face, that mum finally understands.


	14. New New

Chapter 4.14 -New New

A truly evil laugh echoes about the chamber as the black guardian, Chaos, takes delight in his plans. "Oh the plans I have for the Doctor and one Rose Tyler. As I have said before White you are a fool if you think that this woman is going to be sufficient to save your precious Doctor. You might as well just have handed him over to me. How do you think he will fare when I take her away from him? He will crack like an egg beneath my heel and will curse you forever for you bringing her into his life. You think he won't know eventually what you have done to him tying him to these females? Do you think he won't notice eventually that you have snatched away one of his companions?"

"We shall see." Comes her unflappable reply to his taunting. "Is that not why the game is played to see the outcome?"

* * *

As I reach the control room, I have the feeling that someone or something is missing, but Rose follows me in and I am quickly distracted from the feeling by a rush of love for her. "So, where are we going?" Comes her cheerful question and I think of the perfect place and grinning I begin to feed in the coordinates.

"Further than we've ever gone before."

Rose grins back and moves around to begin flicking switches expertly to assist me, which makes me grin harder in response.

* * *

As we step out of the TARDIS onto a windy stretch of grass. Rose's mouth drops open.

"It's the year five billion and twenty three... we're in the galaxy M87, and this... this is New Earth."

As we look out over a futuristic city, with flying vehicles zooming back and forth I feel delight flowing from both Rose and Verity "That's just... that's..." as Rose bursts out laughing, in wonder. I can't help the joy I feel at knowing that I will get to share these kinds of moments with them for the rest of my lives. "Not bad. Not bad at all!" I proclaim in delight

* * *

"That's amazing. I'll never get used to this, never. Different ground beneath my feet!" and I jump up and down excitedly. "Different sky...! What's that smell?"

He pulls up a small hand full of grass and brings it to my nose. "Apple grass...!"

"Lovely!" I state even as I sense the wonder from Verity.

"Yeah, yeah!" is his delighted reply and I can't help but smile as I bask in his happiness.

"That's beautiful!" I shout over the wind, with a wide smile and marvel at the wide spectrum of colors, life is beautiful. "Oh, I love this. Can I just say..." I link my arm through his "... traveling with you... I love it."

"Me too," he states with a grin that is wide and genuine and I laugh at the joy pouring from him.

He grabs my hand and yells, "Come on!"

* * *

My leather jacket may not be the most effective blanket but it gives us more of an excuse to snuggle close as we lie in the grass and I explain the history behind New Earth. "So, the year five billion -- the sun expands, the Earth gets roasted."

"That was our first date." She interrupts with, and I smile and look at her remembering, "We had chips," and we both laugh when she reminds me she had to pay.

"So anyway, planet gone, all rocks and dust, but the human race lives on, spread out across the stars. Soon as the Earth burns up - oh, yeah, they get all nostalgic - big revival movement... but they find this place! Same size as the Earth... same air... same orbit... lovely! Call goes out, the humans move in!"

"What's the city called?" she asks as she looks out at the city in the distance.

Giving her a huge smile, I say, "New New York," as I think of why I chose here.

"Oh, come on," is her incredulous reply.

"It is! It's the City of New New York! So I figured new, new Rose, new, new Verity, New New York. Though strictly speaking, it's the fifteenth New York since the original. But that doesn't work as well, so let's just stick with New, New York, it works better with my new, new Wolf and new, new wife."

At her wistful smile, I have to ask, "What?"

"You, Doctor, are a romantic."

"Is that a bad thing my new, new Rose?" I ask, kissing her nose.

I have to take it as a no as she giggles and kisses me on the nose in return saying, "Guess that makes you my new, new husband." At that, all I can do is smile.

* * *

Inside the basement room of the hospital in the distance, an oddly tattooed man name Chip is operating its controls and turns around at the sound of Cassandra the trampoline shaped human's voice. "Impossible. I recognize that couple. Her face, show me her face!" The spider in the grass near the couple moves in and she yells, "Closer, Closer!" in her excitement.

The spider scurries across the grass, but not quickly enough and she continues to shout, "Face! Face! Face!"

* * *

"So when do we go and visit New, New York… so good they named it twice?" she asks.

I feel an odd sensation and I know that some one is trying to contact us. "Well, I think we might go there first," I state as I nod towards the large hospital, on the coast.

Immediately Rose picks up my change in mood. "Why? What is it?"

"Some sort of hospital. Green moon on the side - that's the universal symbol for hospitals, and…"

"Hmm, I actually meant why the sudden interest in the hospital. Not like you to want to go to a hospital unless there is something up."

I can't help but look a bit sheepish as I realize she would now know what the symbol on the side meant, "I got this." I reach into my coat pocket and pull out the psychic paper "A message on the psychic paper. Felt it come in just a moment ago." Opening it shows clearly the words 'Ward 26 -- Please Come' scrawled across the paper.

"It appears someone wants to see me." Having read the message I now tuck it back in my pocket, wondering who sent the message as it's an odd way of communicating the desire.

"Hmm, and I thought we were just going to be sight-seeing on our honeymoon," she teases, and I hesitate for a moment, prepared to do something else but then she grabs my arm, dragging me in the direction of the hospital. "Come on then! Let's go." I bask in the warm feeling as she links her arm through mine and leans into my side.

* * *

Cassandra gasps. "Rose Tyler! I knew it! That dirty blonde and her assassin!"

"She's coming here, mistress!" Chip declares, catching some of his mistress's enthusiasm.

"This is beyond coincidence Chip! This is destiny! At last I can be revenged on that little hussy."

* * *

After a short walk, we arrive at the hospital doors and enter the reception area. I look at Thete in concern. I know his dislike for hospitals; it reminds him of how many we have lost. As if almost on cue he states, "I don't like Hospitals."

"I know, but it is a bit ironic you have to admit… Doctor," Rose states in a cheeky tone.

"I can't help it! I don't like hospitals - they give me the creeps!" his petulant reply is halted by the public address system. "The Pleasure Gardens will now take visitors carrying green or blue identification cards for the next fifteen minutes. Visitors are reminded that cuttings from the gardens are not permitted."

I look around and have to say it really is quite nice and Rose's memory provides a visual example for comparison as she states. "Very smart, not exactly NHS."

Lost in his thoughts, Theta states, "No shop. I'd like a little shop!" and I know it is just another method to distract himself from his discomfort at being here.

I am a bit surprised as Rose blurts, "I thought this far in the future, they'd have cured everything."

His automatic reply makes me happy that she did as it gives him something to focus on, he really is in his element when explaining things, and I know it's one of the things Rose loves about traveling with him. "The human race moves on, but so do the viruses. It's an ongoing war…" As he says the word war, I feel sadness coming from him, as I know he is thinking of our war.

A cat nurse walks by and nods politely to us, and I can't help be fascinated. It has been Theta's companions who have gotten to meet all the interesting aliens out here in the universe and I know I am really going to like this part of sharing with Rose as I stare after the nurse.

He interrupts my thoughts by stating, "Now, don't stare... think what you look like to them, all..." and I can feel him think of a number of words that cause me to blush but he finally settles on the more publicly acceptable statement of "Pink and yellow," referring to my new brighter, now natural, blond hair and peachy skin tones.

"That's where I'd put the shop!" He states pointing over our shoulder to an area with lots of people passing. "Right there!"

As I look to see why he has chosen that spot I realize too late he has stepped into the lift that has arrived as he states, "Ward 26!"

By the time I turn to join him the lift is just closing. "Hold on! Hold on!" and I can't help but think that the doors close a bit too fast.

As he hears my call he states, "Oh, too late… I'm going up." Just then I notice the lift next to his has opened.

'It's all right, there's another lift," I quickly assure him as I feel his anxiety at being separated quickly moving to press the button stating, "Ward 26" as I do, he states "and watch out for the disinfectant."

'Watch out for what?' I ask.

"The disinfectant," and I have to wonder why he should be concerned about disinfectant.

The doors close and the lift goes down as I wonder what he meant only to hear a moment later. "Commence stage one disinfection." As green lights flash on.

Caught off guard I scream in surprise, as I am soaked in the disinfectant.

'Very funny, Thete,' I state and hear his mental laughter. As I smack the walls frantically with my eyes screwed shut, trying to turn the shower off I hear his reassuring thoughts 'Relax dear it will dry and you will be good as new, it doesn't even leave spots on leather.'

I squeeze my eyes shut again in shock as I am blasted with a white powder sending him a sour thought; 'You are so going to get it when I see you next.'

'That a promise?' I hear in his sexy northern accent with all kinds of lustful overtones.

As the blow dryer engages I try to make myself presentable and refuse to answer his leading statement, as I know I will probably give him exactly the kind of thing he is alluding to, but no sense distracting him when he has a mystery to solve. We still don't know who sent him the message and not everyone who could have sent that message is benign. As I think of what the Essarrians did to him, I feel my anxiety rise. I would do anything to prevent something like that happening again. Just as that occurs to me, I acutely feel the distance between us and know he is much further away than he should be if we were traveling to the same floor. When it dawns on me we are going down not up I know something is wrong.

I reach for him and only find silence and I feel a rising horror as I realize I have moved into a shielded area and I am having more and more trouble thinking as I have to struggle through the shields just to maintain my own integrity of thought. As the doors open, I feel an increasing sense of dread as instead of a clean medical facility I am greeted with some sort of cellar like hallway.

I try to suppress the rising fear I am feeling and ask, hoping that I can find my way out, this can't be my desired destination, "Um... I'm looking for Ward 26...?"

An odd tattooed man shows up and my sense of dread increases as he states, "This way, Rose Tyler." That he inexplicably knows my name can't be good. As he scurries off, I know that I need to find a weapon to protect myself and cautiously follow. Shortly I find a metal rod that looks like it might do.


	15. Unpleaseant Reunions

Chapter 4.15 -Unpleasant Reunions

As I emerge from the elevator, I have a disorientating feeling of disconnectedness but before I can begin to try to figure it out, I am met by one of the cat nuns, who introduces herself as Sister Jatt.

Keeping things light, I comment, "Nice place, no shop, downstairs. I'd have a shop, not a big one, just a shop. So people can shop."

My comment seems to surprise the sister. "The hospital is a place of healing."

Thinking of my Rose's fondness for shopping I reply, "A shop does some people the world of good. Not me, other people..." I quickly clarify at her odd look.

Sister Jatt replies, "The Sisters of Plentitude take a lifelong vow to help and to mend. That does NOT include little shops," she says rather haughtily. "Is there no one here you recognize?"

I look around, and just then, I do spot someone I recognize with a sense of relief.

As Sister Jatt continues, "It's rather unusual to visit without knowing the patient."

I reply, "No, I think I've found him."

Sister Jatt follows my gaze to the Face of Boe is in the corner of the ward by the window and I move toward him and the nurse near him.

As we approach Sister Jatt steps forward addressing the young cat nurse. "Novice Hame, if I can leave this gentleman in your care?"

As she turns to leave, I realize that my Rose has yet to show up and I have an unpleasant feeling and quickly turn to Sister Jatt, "Oh, I think my friend got lost. Uh, Rose Tyler. Could you ask at reception?" I reach for her but I can't feel more than the sense that she is somewhere in the building, it's not unsurprising in a medical facility that treats a wide variety of life forms but I now realize why I had felt disoriented when I entered the floor.

With stiff indigence, Sister Jatt replies, "Certainly, sir." The unpleasant feeling that something is not right increases and the sooner I find out what the Face has to say the sooner I can get back to Rose and be out of here.

As the Sister leaves, I look to Novice Hame; at this point, to my knowledge, the Face and I have only met the one time on platform one, but just because I don't know of meeting him more times than that has little to do with how many times we might have actually met before. It's just one of the equally fun and frustrating parts of being a time traveler.

The young nurse interrupts my thoughts, "I'm afraid the Face of Boe's asleep, that's all he tends to do these days. Are you a friend, or...?"

"We met just the once on Platform One. What's wrong with him?"

"I'm so sorry. I thought you knew. The Face of Boe is dying."

As she says this my sense of foreboding again increases. "Of what?" I ask warily.

As she replies I get the sense, she is truly saddened by the big old face dying, "Old age. The one thing we can't cure. He's thousands of years old. Some people say millions. Although, that's impossible."

I can't help smiling as she says that, thinking of all the wonderful 'impossible' things that have happened to me recently and my most wonderful impossible of all; Rose stating, "Oh, no... I like impossible."

Kneeling down to get eye level with him, "I'm here, it's the Doctor..." Placing my hand his tank I gently brush his mind. The Face of Boe sighs.

* * *

Rose emerges from the corridor into a room where an old video of some type is playing. I notice the flickering image being projected onto the screen and wonder at the glamorous party scene so out of place in this cellar, everyone present is laughing and holding champagne. A somewhat pretty woman is shown talking to everyone and seems to be the center of attention; making me wonder what this is all about.

The woman on the tape laughs, "I mean, you never know what your life's going to be like! Ever! I'm bored with this drink." With that she hands it off to a passing someone. "Anyway… oh, hello darling! Now, don't! Stop it!" the woman continues as she pushes a man playfully in the chest.

Suddenly the pieces come together as I recognize that voice at the same moment Rose does, "Wait a minute... that's..." and I spin around only to find whom I was afraid I would find with her tattooed man cowering beside her; Cassandra.

"Peek-a-boo!"

I am glad we were able to find a makeshift weapon and Rose holds up the metal rod telling her, "Don't you come anywhere near me, Cassandra."

"Why? What do you think I'm going to do? Flap you to death?"

"Yeah, but... what about Golem?" She says gesturing to her strange companion.

"Oh... that's just Chip. He's my pet."

I can't help but stare as he groveling states, "I worship the mistress!" and feel nauseous and feel Rose's complete agreement with me on the topic.

I cringe as she yells "Moisturize me, moisturize me..." words that bring back the nightmare she inflicted on those at platform one. She had tried to kill Theta, Rose and I and ripped open his still fresh hurts from the war when her actions had caused the death of the young tree woman Jabe. She had brutally traumatized Rose by exposing her to both his pain and that of the others on the space station forcing her nascent empathic abilities to cope with the grief and in her alarm she had nearly stayed behind. It is only now that we have joined do I realize how badly in shock Rose had been when we had returned to earth and how close she came at first to leaving us. This being hurt us all, in one-way or another.

I note her 'pet' is quick to pick up a nearby canister though and squirts Cassandra with it doing his mistresses bidding and I am even more irritated as she continues disparagingly, "He's not even a proper life-form. He's a force-grown clone. I modeled him on my favorite pattern, but he's so faithful. Chip sees to my physical needs."

Her statement brings to mind all kinds of disturbing images that I unintentionally share with Rose who mutters, "I hope that means food." She continues my other thought a bit louder addressing Cassandra, "How come you're still alive?

"You mean after you and that Doctor fellow tried to murder me?"

"That was your own fault." Rose snaps at her total denial of responsibility for her actions and I agree with her annoyance on the matter.

Chips next words though are just as disturbing even though they seem to flatter Cassandra, "The brain of my mistress survived and her pretty blue eyes were salvaged from the bin."

"What about the skin? I saw it, you..." Rose states not sure how to put it as I think of the disgusting images of her splattering, "You got ripped apart."

"That piece of skin was taken from the front of my body. This piece is the back." Her snippy comment makes me laugh as I realize what it means and share it with Rose.

"Right! So you're talking out of your…"

"Ask not!" she snaps and it really causes me to laugh in spite of my loathing of her.

At that, Chip pipes up in defense "The mistress was lucky to survive. Chip secreted mi'lady into the hospital."

Suddenly it all makes sense, "So they don't know you're here?"

"Chip steals medicine. Helps mi'lady, soothes her, strokes her..." As he raises a hand to stroke Cassandra I can take no more.

"You can stop right there, Chip." Rose demands, agreeing with me completely.

"But I'm so alone, hidden down here... the last Human in existence..." and her sad litany just makes me even more nauseous this time around than it did when she spouted it on Platform One.

"Don't start that again, they've called this planet New Earth for good reason, lots and lots of humans. There's millions of Humans out there... millions of them."

It just irritates us both as she snaps, "Mutant stock!"

"They evolved, Cassandra. They just evolved, like they should. You stayed still. You got yourself all pickled and preserved, and what good did it do you? Stuffed down here in a basement. I'll admit you've got a knack for survival, I'll give you that, but surviving isn't living."

Suddenly I am wary as her voice becomes cold, "But I've not been idle, Rose... tucked away, underneath this hospital; I've been listening. The Sisters are hiding something."

"What d'you mean?" Rose asks, as I wonder what she is up to this time.

"Oh... these cats have secrets. Hush, let me whisper, come close."

Wary at her sudden mood swing Rose backs up with a strained laugh as she remembers we are down here all alone and have no way to let Theta know what is happening. "You must be joking if you think I'm coming anywhere near you!" she states and I sudden realize that was exactly what she wanted as I feel laser manacles take hold of Rose's body.

As she yells, "Chip! Activate the psychograph!" I feel cold terror at her words. This body can't take the strain of a psychograph. It's too new and our mental connections are still so fragile, I feel Rose struggle but I know with horror that were not going to get away before he throws that switch as I desperately start pulling a copy of Rose's consciousness into my TARDIS memory banks in hopes of restoring Rose's mind if the worst occurs.

"Let me go Cassandra, let me go you don't know what your doing!" Rose begs, desperate to buy me time for both our sakes but with the shielding, it is much harder to do this.

"Oh I know exactly what I am doing! I am going to take that sweet little human body of yours for my own as you obviously don't appreciate the kind of rare treasure you have."

We scream as we feel the sudden compression of the horrid machine.

-----------

After a few seconds, a cloud of light jumps from Cassandra, across the room and into Rose. Chip releases the lever and Rose's body falls to the ground.

-----------

As I drift back to consciousness the terror of the last few minutes descends and I realize, mortified, that I can't feel Rose's consciousness or my TARDIS body. After a moment, I watch as Chip comes over and peers at me. "Mistress?"

I try to move away but instead I hear myself saying, "Moisturize me..." and realize I have lost control of our Rose body. I desperately hope that the upload of Rose's consciousness into the buffer I used when the body was forming to prevent her destruction at the Gamestation has worked, as it is truly frightening to think what the consequences are if I have failed. The White Guardian's words echo in my mind, "your three lives will be bound together."

I hear Cassandra using our voice. "How bizarre... arms... fingers... hearts! Oh My, I'm beating out a samba, what are you! You said you were human, you lying hussy! How did you fool my machines and how dare you claim to be Human! Tell me trollop!" With that, I feel her trying to ransack our memories pressing down on me and causing intense pain in the process. "Let me see! Let me see!" She takes full control of our motor functions and she springs to our feet. Finally, I can take no more and pass out from the pain.

Next thing I am aware of I am watching in a mirror as our eyes widen in horror and she states, "Oh my God, not only am I no longer human but I'm a chav too!" and I hate her all the more for the effect that statement will have on Rose, assuming she can be recovered after this trauma. I just hope for all our sakes that what I was able to do to protect Rose was enough and that, even if I can no longer feel her presence, that she is at least safe until we can be restored. The thought Cassandra may have killed Rose causes me to boil with anger and to fruitlessly struggle, yet nothing I do gives me back any control.

* * *

I can't help but feel something is wrong, Rose has gone missing and in spite of my reaching out to her all I can feel is the sense she is alive but that is very little comfort, she should be clear and bright in my mindscape not the muddied presence I am feeling in spite of the building shielding. This close I should be able to easily communicate with her and yet I can't contact either of them. I know that there are dozens of diseases that can affect psychics. Many hospitals have whole floors that are shielded to minimize the danger to those already afflicted but still it just doesn't feel right that she would stay someplace where it was obvious she couldn't communicate, if not just for me then for Verity from whom she would also be at least partially blocked. As I think about what to do, next I make small talk with nurse Hame.

"Am I the only visitor?"

"The rest of Boe-kind became extinct, long ago. He's the only one left. Legend says that the Face of Boe has watched the universe grow old." At that statement, I can't help but understand the irony of that. "There are all sorts of superstitions around him. One story says that just before his death, the Face of Boe will impart his great secret. That he will speak those words only to one like himself."

As she says this, I suddenly get a chill. "What does that mean?"

"It's just a story."

"Stories are meant to be told, tell me the rest," I state as I suddenly have a feeling that it is very important.

"It's said he'll talk to a wanderer, to the man without a home." At that, my discomfort grows as I can so easily see it referring to me. A chill climbs my spine at her next words, "The lonely God."

* * *

I start to feel dizzy. As I struggle to take control Cassandra's presence is pushing me aside. Yet, as desperately as I try, I can't get her loose from us and can only watch as Cassandra peers at our body in front of a mirror with a look of horror. "Look at me! From class to brass! Although..."

I want to scream as she pulls the zipper of Rose's jacket down slightly and runs her hands over our body. She has no right to do that and I rage as I hear her shameless comments of "Oh... curves... oh, baby..." then proceeds to jump up and down. "It's like living inside a bouncy castle!"

I want to be ill at Chip's worshipful comment of, "Mistress is beautiful!"

"Absolutement!" As she turns I see that her old body has died and in horror I know there will be no way to shove her out with no place for her to go back to, which means she will fight me every step of the way for permanent possession of our Rose body.

Chip too notices and comments, "Oh...! The brain meat expired... my old mistress is gone."

Her next words confirm my fears, "But safe and sound in here," she states as she taps our head.

"What of the Rose child's mind?" Chip asks innocently.

I howl as she strives to read our memories and says, "I can just about access the surface memory, she's..." and I snarl as she gets a few small bits of information about our Theta.

"Gosh... she's with the Doctor...that man... he's the Doctor... a…" Her voice stalls as I am finally able to block her attempts to get more information but it is so hard and is taking so much effort just to maintain my consciousness let alone fight her for control. As Cassandra realizes that she is in for a battle, she turns on her heel to look in the mirror again. "I could do with a little work. Although..." and I rage even more as she fondles our bum. "Nice rear bumper. Hmm!"

As our mobile rings I make a desperate attempt to give away some indication that someone else is in control, "Oh... it seems to be ringing... is it meant to ring?" she says as she pulls Rose's phone out of our back pocket and stares at it.

Chip pipes up helpfully, "A primitive communications device."

As Cassandra presses a button, I hear Theta's voice on the other end and I try desperately to tell him were here that she has trapped us in our own body.

"Rose, where are you?"

As she comes out with "Uhm... wotcha..." I desperately hope he won't be as dense as he sometimes can be, but dread that this will be one of his less than brilliant moments.

"Where've you been? How long does it take to get to Ward 26?"

"I'm on my way, governor." I hear her say and mentally roll my eyes as she continues, "I shall proceed up the Apples and Pears."

"You'll never guess. I'm with the Face of Boe! Remember him?"

She laughs, through gritted teeth and replies, "Course I do... that big old... boat... race..."

I want to scream as he hangs up saying, "I'd better go. See you in a minute," before I even get a chance to start fighting properly for our voice.


	16. Deception & Betrayal

Chapter 4.16 -Deception & Betrayal

A/N: On this chapter I would like to send an appreciative thanks to Adalia Greyson for her very kind review and as always my gratitude to each of you that takes their time to read and review.

* * *

I wonder at Rose's strange words but am distracted as I hear laughter. Moving to investigate I see a heavyset man and a very stuffy looking woman with glasses of champagne.

"Didn't think I was going to make it!" As I step into his view he shouts, "It's that man again!" and I wonder what he is on about.

"He's my good luck charm! Come in! Don't be shy! You came by just as I thought I was done for."

The stuffy woman states, "Any friendship expressed by the Duke of Manhattan does not constitute a form of legal contract."

I nod at her odd statement as the Duke states, "Winch me up" and I watch as he gives me a thumbs up. The stuffy woman near him presses a button on a remote and the bed tilts forwards and he states in delight "Ah! Look at me! No sign of infection! Petrifold Regression! Turning to stone I was and now every trace gone!"

It all seems rather surreal as a waiter comes by and asks, "Champagne, sir?"

"No thanks." I state absentmindedly to the waiter as I his words catch my attention. "Uh... you had Petrifold Regression?"

"That being the operative word! Past tense! Completely cured." I watch as he laughs joyfully."

"But that's impossible." Suddenly, impossible again is not so positive.

At my statement another cat nurse comes by and states, "Primitive species would accuse us of magic, but it's merely the tender application of science."

"How on Earth did you cure him?" There isn't a know cure for Petrifold regression for another thousand years yet and I know with sickening certainty that something is dreadfully wrong here.

"How on New Earth, you might say." The cat nurse replies and suddenly I am very curious as to what it is they have been giving him. Nodding to the IV still attached to the Dukes arm, "What's in that solution?"

"A simple remedy."

Dropping ice into my voice and standing a bit taller, I state, "Then tell me what it is."

Her pat answer alarms me even more. "I'm sorry, patient confidentiality. I don't believe we've met. My name is Matron Casp."

"I'm the Doctor." I state in chill tones that are intended to ensure she knows I don't intend to be trifled with.

"I think you'll find that we're the Doctors here." Is her snide reply and before I can say another word Sister Jatt returns.

"Matron Casp - you're needed in intensive care."

With a completely false smile she turns and quickly leaves, "If you would excuse me." I nod knowing that regardless of my feelings that this is a hospital and she obviously is needed elsewhere. That does not mean that I intend to let this mystery go and the sooner Rose gets here the better.

I can't help but wonder what they are up to as I watch them walk away.

* * *

I listen to Chip state, "This Doctor man is dangerous," and can't help but think how little he knows about how dangerous my Theta can be and if I have anything to say about it, he will very soon be finding out exactly how dangerous.

I can't help the fury that flushes through my system as I hear Cassandra say, "Dangerous and clever. I might need a mind like his. The Sisterhood is up to something. Remember that Old Earth saying...? Never trust a Nun, never trust a Nurse and never trust a cat. Perfume?"

I watch as Chip takes a small tube of perfume out of his pocket and gives it to her and I cringe as I feel her push it down our cleavage as she strides out of the room with purpose.

* * *

As I move upward in the elevator I try desperately to reach Theta, almost unaware of the disinfectant bath we endure as we move up to Ward 26, and I can still feel Cassandra smoothing down our hair as she spots Theta examining various IV drips. She smiles when he notices her and I want to grit my teeth in frustration but even that is denied me.

"There you are! Come and look at this patient!" Lifting the arm of the patient who's IV he was examining I notice how very red he is, and wonder what mystery he has found even as I have been dealing with my own drama with Cassandra. Listening intently in the hopes that I can find some way to let him know what has happened, I struggle trying to reach for his mind only to run into Cassandra's jamming presence. Oblivious to my struggles he continues, "Marconi's Disease. Should take years to recover. Two days. I've never seen anything like it; they've invented a cell-washing cascade, it's amazing. Their medical science is way advanced and this one!"

As I try to reach him, he moves to another bed sporting a completely white skinned man. "Pallidome Pancrosis. Kills you in ten minutes, and he's fine!" He waves cheerily to the patient.

'DOCTOR!' I scream at him unwilling to have Cassandra hear his name, but oblivious to my cry he continues, "I need to find a terminal. I've got to see how they do this. Because if they've got the best medicine in the world... then why's it such a secret?"

"I can't Adam and Eve it." I hear Cassandra say.

I want to cheer as he asks, "What's-- what's with the voice?" looking at her oddly7

"Oh, I don't know... just larking about New Earth... New me..." I watch as she sizes him up like a cat looking at prey and I notice his eyes drift to the buttons Cassandra has undone.

'NO!" I scream as she starts to speak, and I suddenly know what she intends "Mmm... Aren't you just..." She very suddenly pulls his face towards her and plants a smacking kiss on his lips and I cringe as I feel our hands in the soft leather of his jacket ensuring he can't back away. When she does finally pull away, he looks extremely shocked and she's slightly breathless. He stares at her gobsmacked as I rage impotently and hope that he finally gets it after this uncharacteristic public display.

I can only hope he has figured it out as I look at his dazed expression and she almost staggers off saying, "T... terminal's this way," exhaling and out of breath as she walks us away.

* * *

As soon as I spot her coming out of the elevator I know something is wrong as our link hasn't automatically returned its normal strength but is more like she is deeply unconscious. So I rattle on about patients and medicine advances as I watch her reactions. Everything about how she is moving is also wrong and what has happened? When she grabs and kisses me, I know without question that something is in possession of my Rose. Now the question is what to do about it, and who or what has her under its control.

As she wanders off, I just stare for a moment wondering what I am going to do. Then follow her over and begin enquiring of the terminal to find out what I can, since that is obviously, what this being is expecting. I watch out of the corner of my eye and each word and gesture she makes betrays Rose's lack of control. I desperately want to just turn and demand that they tell me who they are and try to think of what may have happened. Even as I do, I am trying hard not to think about the possible consequences to Verity and Rose if this is interfering with their connection as badly as it is blocking the one between Rose and I. Their minds are so fragile right now, Rose's even more so then Verity's, and nothing I know of that would allow someone this much control over Rose's body is going to be gentle on her brain.

So I bide my time babbling on about departments and other things of little consequence trying to tease out more information on who this unknown entity is that has hijacked Rose.

* * *

As he stares a the terminal I just glare at him wanting to so bad to grab him by his ears and force him to look at me, make him see that it isn't us in control. Instead, he prattles on as I glower in frustration as his clueless behavior - you would think he would notice that he couldn't reach our minds. "Nope... nothing odd... surgery... post-op... nano-dentistry... no sign of a shop... they should have a shop. No, it's missing something else. Those Nurse, Cat/Nuns were talking about Intensive Care. Where is it...?" I hear him mumble, "Why would they hide a whole department?" as he pulls his sonic screwdriver out of his pocket.

I almost jump for joy as Cassandra say, "It's gotta be there somewhere. Search the sub-frame."

I hear the suspicion as clear as a shout as he says, "What if the sub-frame's locked?"

"Then try the installation protocol..." is Cassandra's snappish reply.

My joy is quickly replaced with despair as he quickly states, "Yeah, course. Sorry. Hold on." I realize he may have been surprised by the response but it is obvious that he now considers it be my knowledge that Rose has tapped into and I want to scream. He still doesn't know we are trapped in here that Cassandra is slowly draining the life out of us because we can't fight her. I can't make her leave our mind and she is crushing us with her presence. It's too much too soon and in spite of how hard I am trying to hold on it is getting harder and harder to do. I watch numbly as he clicks his sonic screwdriver off and the entire wall moves downwards, revealing a secret corridor behind. I feel Cassandra smile and as she walks straight into it.

"Intensive Care certainly looks intensive." I hear him say from behind us and I stare around us as Cassandra takes it all in thinking of ways she can use this knowledge to get what she wants from the Sisterhood.

As we go down metal steps into Intensive Care, we find ourselves in a huge cavernous chamber, looking upon row and row of green doors. I watch as Theta walks over to one of the doors and opens it with his sonic screwdriver. A man, covered in boils and surrounded by smoke looks back at us and I can feel Cassandra's disgust as she recoils and asking, "What's wrong with him?"

I listen to Theta oft said words of, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," and my hearts break, I know how much he feels for the man trapped in this horrendous purgatory of existence. Considering my own predicament at the moment, I can't help but draw parallels that give me chills as I empathize with how utterly helpless he must feel.

I feel Cassandra hold our nose whilst the Theta closes the door gently and reluctantly opens another revealing yet another victim in this house of horrors. I feel Cassandra's complete revulsion at the condition of the woman exposed in the next cylinder as she asks, "What disease is that?"

I want to cry but even that is denied us as I hear the deep sadness as he answers, "All of them. Every single disease in the galaxy, they've been infected with everything."

I rage impotently as all Cassandra can think about is, "What about us? Are we safe?" She is totally oblivious to the anguish of my Theta and that of the people trapped in this existence so like my own at the moment.

I hear him quietly reassure her, "The air's sterile, just don't touch them," knowing it is just his nature to do so but still wishing he wouldn't, she doesn't deserve his compassion. I watch as he dejectedly closes the door and then leans over the railing, looking upon the rows and rows of doors and like a person watching an accident, unable to look away I hear Cassandra ask, "How many patients are there?"

I already know the answer but it doesn't hurt any less to hear him say it aloud. "They're not patients."

At Cassandra's response, I realize she just doesn't get the full scope, "But they're sick."

Finally I hear what I have known was coming, the fury that comes when he shoves aside his grief at how truly abominable a species can be to each other in their selfishness and greed and moves on to determined to make it right no matter what it takes. "They were born sick. They're meant to be sick. They exist to be sick. They're lab rats, no wonder these Sisters have a cure for everything. They've built the ultimate research laboratory a Human farm."

Finally I think Cassandra is beginning to get it but then she asks, "Why don't they just die?" as if she just can't quite get her head around the scope of the heinous crime in which we are standing.

His words are bitter and cold as he replies, "Plague carriers; the last to go."

One of the cat nurses shows up in the hallway behind us. "It's for the greater cause."

"Matron Casp. When you took your vows, did you agree to this?"

"The Sisterhood has sworn to help."

His fury is cold and deadly as he asks, "What, by killing?"

"But they're not real people. They're specially grown. They have no proper existence."

At those words, I know she has made a very bad mistake because he knows better. "What's the turnover? Hm? Thousand a day? Thousand the next? Thousand the next? How many thousand? For how many years? How many?" by the time he finishes speaking he his shouting at her and even in spite of Cassandra I feel his fury throbbing through our bond.

Her reply does nothing to cool his anger and makes me just as furious as he. "Mankind needed us. They came to this planet with so many illnesses. We couldn't cope. We did try. We tried everything. We tried using clone-meat and bio-cattle... but the results were too slow. So, the sisterhood grew its own flesh. That's all they are, flesh."

"These people are alive!" is his furious reply.

"But think of those Humans out there... healthy... and happy, because of us."

If I weren't so helpless and furious, I would cheer at his observation. "If they live because of this, then life is worthless."

Now I know she has gone too far and I hope he can hold it together as she asks. "But who are you to decide that?"

"I'm the Doctor and if you don't like it... if you want to take it to a higher authority, there isn't one. It stops with me," are his rage filled words.

Just when I thought I couldn't get angrier at everything that has happened I hear Cassandra ask, "Just to confirm... none of the Humans in the city actually know about this?"

"We thought it best not…"

Just then, he asks the question I had been hoping for earlier and had begun to despair of him ever realizing to ask. "Hold on, I can understand the bodies. I can understand your vows. But one thing I can't understand, what have you done to Rose?"

"I don't know what you mean."

As I listen, I want to cry with joy, he knows my precious Theta knows and he will get us free now. "And I'm being very, very calm. You wanna be aware of that, very, very calm and the only reason I'm being so very, very calm is that the brain is a delicate thing. Whatever you've done to Rose's head, I want it reversed."

"We haven't done anything." I hear the nurse explain.

Thankfully, Cassandra is not smart enough to know when to keep her mouth shut. "I'm perfectly fine."

His response it to glare at them both, "These people are dying, and Rose would care." And I realize he has deliberately not informed her of our new connection and I wonder why it has taken him this long to confront her.

I rage as she flirtatiously pulls him around to face her, "Oh, all right, clever clogs.

Smarty pants." Then thinking she can seduce him she asks in a sultry voice, "Lady-killer"

Almost in despair, I hear the pain in his voice as he asks. "What's happened to you?"

"I knew something was going on in this hospital, but I needed this body and your mind to find it out."

Even in spite of the way Cassandra's presence is crushing me I can feel his boiling wrath at this close distance, "Who are you?"

Horror settles in more deeply to our hearts as Cassandra slides our body up against him and we stand on tiptoes to whispers into his ear. "The Last Human."

I feel him jerk back from her repulsed by the idea of who is in possession of us, "Cassandra?"

'No! No! No, you can't do this!' I rage as I sense her plan for betrayal. Using his trust and his need to protect us against him and for the first time since she took possession she answers my rage. 'Oh yes, I can Rose Tyler and this will be all the better because it will actually be your body I use to get my justice.' 'No, please Cassandra I'll do anything just don't hurt him' 'Ha! As if you could stop me.' with that I feel her reach between our breasts and pull out her knock out spray, even as I beat against the mental wall of her possession. "Wake up and smell the perfume," with that she squirts him full in the face.

'Nooooooo!' I scream silently as I watch in terror as he keels over, unconscious.


	17. Run!

A/N: This one I thank the new individuals who have joined me in this adventure by making a story alert for this series: Millenia-the-wings-of-valmar & lacthryn18. As always my love to my reviewers who let me know what they think, and that there are people out their regularly reading.

* * *

Chapter 17 -Run!

Matron Catts ask not excessively concerned. "What have you done?"

"Eliminated a problem for us. Now call your supervisor we are going to have a little chat."

"Sister Jatt is busy," she states stiffly.

"I am sure she won't be to busy to ensure my silence now go get her!" I can feel her satisfaction as the nurse pauses then hurries off and I despair as I see my Theta crumpled at her feet.

"Now, let's give them something to think about!" she says as she rips a cable out and alarms go off. I can feel her satisfied smile twist our lips before she turns to Chip. "Help me shift this lump," she says, toeing Theta with our trainer. Almost as an after thought, she says, "but keep the jacket, I think I might like you in leather, my sweet Chip." The images that follow of what she is thinking to do with him in my Theta's Jacket makes me want to heave.

Jumping to follow her direction, he simpers, "Yes mistress."

In terror I realize what she intends to do to Theta. I scream and rage but nothing I say has any effect on her deliberately vengeful actions as she helps Chip strip him of his protecting leather and assists in confining Theta in one of the empty capsules.

A moment later, he wakes up and finds himself trapped.

"Cassandra, let me out!" In his words, I hear his terror because I know him, though I know all Cassandra hears is his cold intimidating fury, which causes her to shiver.

As she peers through the closed door, she taunts him. "Aren't you lucky there was a spare? Standing room only. Over the years I've thought of thousands of ways to kill you, Doctor, and now that's exactly what I've got, thousands of diseases. They pump the 'patients' with a top-up every ten minutes. You've got about... three minutes left, enjoy."

My hearts break as he doesn't beg for his own life but instead pleads for mine. "Just let Rose go Cassandra."

"I will! As soon as I've found someone younger and... less common... then I'll junk her with the waste. Now hushaby! It's show time." Even as she says the words I know we won't last that long and continue to rage impotently, knowing if I lose him I lose everything that makes life worth living. I throw everything I have at trying to regain control in time to free him, only peripherally aware as she blackmails the returned Matron Casp and Sister Jatt.

It is only when her negotiations break down that I begin to truly hope again and I watch to see what she will do now that she is faced with the Cat Nuns' dagger-like claws.

Her words actually surprise me, "Well, nice try. Chip? Plan B!"

I watch in morbid fascination as Chip pulls a lever and every cell door on the row springs open and I mentally cheer, as Theta wastes no time escaping his prison and running up grabs for us yelling. "What've you done?"

"Gave the system a shot of adrenaline, just to wake 'em up, see ya!"

Turning he shouts to the nurses. "Don't touch them! Whatever you do, don't touch!" before turning to pursue us.

* * *

The infected people walk zombie-like up to Sister Jatt and Matron Casp. "We understood what you did to us. As part of the machine, we know the machine."

With that, the infected man plunges his hands into the electrics, electrocuting himself, but causing every single cell door in Intensive Care to explode open.

* * *

I hear Rose's scream and see why as the entire set of doors swing open. Grabbing her hand, I run. If it were not for Cassandra possessing my Rose's body I would be tempted to leave her to the infected to deal with, it would be fitting for her to suffer what she had just a few minutes ago planned for me and what she is continuing to do to my Wolf. I will do nothing, though, that will jeopardize her any further than Cassandra has already done.

As I hear a high-pitched feline scream, I know that at least one of the two nurses didn't heed my warning.

As the full scope of what is happening dawns on her, I hear Cassandra say, "Oh, my God..."

"What the hell have you done?" I shout, understanding even more the danger we are in as I see what has happened to the nurse at a simple touch.

"It wasn't me!" she screams and the unadulterated fear in her voice makes it clear she believes that to be true.

My hearts clench in terror at how helpless Rose is and I reiterate to Cassandra, "One touch and you get every disease in the world, and I want that body safe, Cassandra! We've gotta go down! Now!" giving her no option in the matter. Rose and Verity sacrificed far too much for Cassandra to be allowed to destroy them. My fear only increases as I see the zombie-like advance of the infected and there are thousands of them!

As we reach the stairs I refuse to relinquish her hand and I urge her ever downward, "RUN! Down! Down! Go down!"

Moments later the PA system begins to announce, "This building is under quarantine. No one may leave the premises." At least, if we all die in here, it hopefully won't spread to the rest of the planet. That though would be a much more comforting, if we were not on the inside of the building.

As we run it sinks in exactly what the infected keep saying, 'help us, stay with us...' My hearts ache in grief, as I have no idea what we can do for them, but still they follow and we have no choice but to run for our lives.

As we finally reach a break away from the infected Cassandra jerks her hand from mine and runs for the nearby lift, trying desperately to get it to respond.

I step up behind her and force her to look at me. "No, the lifts have closed down. That's the quarantine, nothing's moving."

Her look is one of horror as it finally dawns on her that we are trapped.

I eventually get her to move as she begins to hear the infected banging on the closest door. Moving quickly down the hall, I spot a lighted room in this cellar like area and move in that direction slamming the door behind us, realizing seconds later what else is in the room with us, and what it means is happening to my precious Wolf.

Rose's voice whining at me only makes me angrier with Cassandra. "We're trapped! What're we going to do?"

"Well, for starters, you're going to leave that body." Now that I have seen what she has done, I have no intentions of letting her stay even a moment longer in Rose's body. "Go back to your own body or I will make you." I tell her and I gesture up at the psychograft with my sonic screwdriver. "That psychograft is banned on every civilized planet! You're compressing Rose to death."

"But I've got nowhere to go. My original skin's dead."

I have no pity and no patience left, "Not my problem. You can float as atoms in the air for all I care. Now, get out! Give her back to me!" When she doesn't immediately respond, I point the sonic screwdriver at her threateningly.

"You asked for it," is the last thing I hear before I suddenly have one of the worst headaches I have had in all my lives as Cassandra, as a cloud of light, leaps from Rose's body into mine.

I watch as Rose crumples to the ground and fear grips me until I hear, "Blimey, my head..." and she moves a bit to look around the room. "Where'd she go...? Doctor?"

* * *

I suddenly am aware of exactly where she is as I hear from my Theta. "Oh, my. This is... different. Goodness me, I'm a man. Yum, so many parts!" and watch as she twists his body around in obscene ways that seem to convey a feminine presence even in his very masculine body, his actions are made all them more blatant by the lack of his leather jacket. "Ooh, he's lithe and oh so foxy. You've thought so too. I've been inside your head..."

Cold fury boils through me because it's true and I hate that Cassandra has had access to any of my feelings for him. I force my body off the floor and stagger toward him, "Get out of him!"

How does she do this? She makes it seem so easy! I have never tried to make Rose's body function except for that time shortly after we had merged and she yelled at me to stop. But as I hear the infected beating on the door and know what she is now doing to my poor Theta I have no choice but to figure it out the hard way and almost immediately wind up losing my balance and falling forward off balance.

"What's your problem blondie? I wasn't in you that long?" She states balefully, looking down at me, and I want to scream. I force myself to calm down, ignoring her for a moment, and feel for any sense of Rose. I am able to find memories but no sense of her consciousness and feel tears of frustration and anger spring to my eyes and know I can do nothing to help them streaming down my face. But, that very anger and distress fuels my determination to get this to work because the sooner I can get us free the sooner we both can be out of this place. Concentrating, I focus on the memories of how to move and grab Cassandra's arm hard, ensuring that there will be no escape for her. Even as I hear, the infected start to break through. I know the only way we will survive is if Cassandra moves back into my body; I hate the idea with a passion but I am unwilling to give up. "Cassandra, you have to get out of him! Do it now, or we both die right here, you understand me? I can't walk and I will not let you destroy him. You get us out of here alive and he might just help you live in spite of everything you have done."

As the infected people suddenly burst through the doors, making us both jump, I feel her jump from his body back into mine and struggle to keep conscious, knowing now that this is our only choice if we are going to have any chance of making it out of here.

* * *

Cassandra will pay for this - I don't know what she has done to Rose and Verity but it is obvious that she isn't properly in control of her body. As I feel her desperation and see her tears I know there will be nothing to stop me from destroying Cassandra when this is all over. As Rose grabs my arm and I hear her words I know that what ever has happened to her is drastic if she is insisting Cassandra will have to take control of her body to get us out of here.

The minute Cassandra releases me and returns to Rose's body I grab her hand and run for the ladder I see nearby, pushing her up in front of me. Finally, we are able to get back up stairs to Ward 26 and as we move, I try to figure out exactly what may have happened. I do know that I'm sufficiently angry that speaking with Cassandra would be a mistake. The only escape for any of us now is to figure out the problem of how to cure the infected.

As we reach Ward 26, Frau Clovis brandishes a chair at us menacingly, roaring like a wild animal and I step in front of Rose to ensure that at least her body is protected in the meantime. Shouting, I slide my jumper up to expose my arms, "We're safe! We're safe! We're safe. We're clean! We're clean!" I twist my arm and hands so they can see clearly we're infection free. "Look, look! Clean! Look, if we'd been touched, we'd be dead."

I give a small sigh of relief, as my words finally get through and Frau Clovis nods and puts the chair down.

"So, how's it going up here? What's the status?" I demand having little patience but also knowing I need all the information I can get to resolve this as quickly as possible.

As I ask I see the terror clearly etched on her face, "There's nothing but silence from the other wards. I think we're the only ones left. I've been trying to override the quarantine," she states as she fiddles with a small device she is holding. "If I can trip a signal over to New New York, they can send a private executive squad."

Horrified at the thought of what she is attempting and what it will mean for the rest of the planet I shout at her, "You can't do that. If they forced entry, they'd break quarantine."

"I am not dying in here."

"No, I am not saying that, but we can't let a single particle of disease get out, there are ten million people in that city, they'd all be at risk! Now, turn that off!"

"Not if it gets me out."

With that I've had it with these selfish humans, and I snatch the device from her hand and smash it beneath my boot. "I do not intend to let anyone else die here. Now you listen to me you lot, get me intravenous solutions for every single disease and I will get us out of this," I shout as a solution leaps to my mind. As they continue to stand there, staring at me, I bark out, "Move!"

With that everyone jumps and begins gathering the solutions, including Cassandra in Rose's body, and I note with a small bit of relief that Chip is one of those that has made it to this ward. I may loath Cassandra for what she has done but it is obvious that Chip has been but a pawn in all of this. As if to underscore that thought, moments later he wordlessly hands me back my jacket before quickly scurrying off to continue collecting IV bags.

I know time is running out in more ways than one as whatever has caused Rose to make the desperate offer she made down in the basement area I am sure is related to what Cassandra is doing to my ladies. I follow Nurse Hame as she moves to get the last of the IV Packets from a secured storage room which is fortunately just off of this ward. I take her aside, "I need your help." With that I explain to her what I need as we collect the last of the IV packets of the diseases, accounting for all of the disease that they have been treating. For this to work, all of the cures will have to be used.

As I tie the solutions on to my body, I work out the final steps of my plan.

When I finally get them attached, I turn to Nurse Hame and nod. Cassandra is then grabbed by two the patients of the ward.

"What!"

At her surprised cry I turn to her, "Cassandra you get out of Rose NOW! I am doing nothing until you do, and these people have agreed to help ensure that you stay out of her."

Looking between her captors and back to she whines. "But where am I to go?"

"At this point I don't care, but if you want to live you are going to move now!"

At this point Chip pipes up, "Chip loves mistress." Staring at me in fury, she jumps for Chip. Rose collapses, as two of the other patients grab Chip.

I move like lightning to Rose's side, gently taking her from the grasp of the two that had been holding her. Looking up briefly to thank them, I watch as Rose's eyes flicker open. "Wolf?" I ask quietly enough that no one else will hear.

"Verity," is her equally quiet reply and I clamp my eyes shut as I feel a surge of anguish, only to snap them open a moment later as she touches my face.


	18. Restoration

A/N:A quick thank your for the reviews by MythStar Black Dragon and SciFiGeek14 and a warm welcome to Millenia-the-wings-of-valmar for the addition to your story alerts.

Part 4 - Chapter 18 - Restoration

I wake feeling dizzy and disoriented and I try to move and realize nothing is right and I feel a surge of panic as I remember what was happening and I know that some how Verity has drawn me into her body. But what of mine? 'Verity?'

'Here'

'What happened to me/us where is my body?'

'I can't feel it! Rose I can't feel your body!'

'Cassandra!' we both think at the same time.

'What are we going to do?' Comes her hesitant question.

'Thete!' I scream as I suddenly realize I can't feel his presence. 'Why isn't he answering?'

'I can feel him,' is Verity's comforting thought.

'I can't, everything feels weird, why?"

'In what way?"

'Dizzy, hurt.'

'We need to get to Theta.'

'Move?' I blurt out unable to stop the thought, how are we to do that?

'I can get us there, I think, just it's not going to be easy with you in here with me.'

Suddenly am very scared as I think about all the things that could go wrong.

'Rose, I don't know if I can do this with you shouting.'

'I…' I would take a deep breath, but I realize in this body, I don't even know how.

'Rose! Focus! We don't have time for this.'

'I'm… I'm sorry, just…'

'I know you're scared, I am too, but you have to try to keep it together…'

'Easy for you to say, you know where your body is!' I snap and immediately regret my harsh words.

'Rose!' she shouts and I can feel her distress and hurt at my thoughts.

For long seconds all I can do is just sense how strange everything is. I don't know what to do, but in the quiet I realize Verity is patiently waiting. The soothing motion of fluids moving through her systems is as real and as centering as the feel of blood in the veins of my body. The movement of air through her vents is as refreshing as the flow of air into my body's lungs. As the moments pass, I realize that for every thing I am familiar with she has a similar function and that very realization gives me the grounding I need.

'I'm sorry Verity, you're right. This isn't about me.'

The feeling of her love surrounding me helps me know that whatever we face, we will face it together and it will be all right. 'So, how do we do this?'

'We do not, my Rose. This is very complex and I need to concentrate, and you are taking up a lot of the space I usually use to navigate with, dear one. I need you to be still and quiet for me so we can get to our Theta.

'I will try.'

* * *

I realize immediately how scared Rose is and I want so very badly to ease her fears but I know that nothing I say is going to calm her, so I do only that which I can do and wait, calming myself and projecting peaceful thoughts.

As she lashes out, I feel her panic and it hurts to know that there is nothing more I can do.

Even as I wait, anxious and impatient, she begins to calm and I know it's finally time to go to our Theta.

The task is not an easy one as I work on the calculations needed to shift us from the hillside down into the hospital proper. In spite of short distance, it still takes considerable effort to fold Space to bring us to where I can feel Theta and where I can now feel Rose is also located.

Rose's consciousness is taking up so much of my active calculating space, and I dare not risk trying to shift her consciousness again because of the trauma she has already experienced. What worries me immensely is that, in spite of being able to sense her physical location, I can't seem to reestablish the connection between Rose and myself and I wonder what kind of damage Cassandra's presence may have done that has resulted in this terrible fracturing.

* * *

I look down as she touches my face and my hearts ache at the fear I see in her eyes and know that I have to find a way to make this right. Her next words are quiet but adamant, "Do what you do best, save them."

I marvel at her faith in me, in spite of everything, but have to protest, "But what..."

"Hush we come, and all will be well." A moment later I hear one of the most beautiful sounds in the universe coming from the storage room and scoop her up in my arms, heading for safety before anyone can stop me.

As I enter I hear Rose's joyful exclamation in my mind, 'Thete!" and I know everything is going to be all right.

As move to the inner door I know she has moved the infirmary to just the other side.

'Put her down on the diagnostic bed and I will care for her as you finish with what needs to be done,' comes Verity's quiet words and I know that, in spite of my desire to stay here and care for them, she is right. I still have things I must do, as I can't let either the Sisterhood or Cassandra get away with what they have done. As I exit Verity's protective walls I spot immediately that one of my two problems is resolving itself and I can't help but feel sorry for Chip as he and Cassandra draw their final breaths.

At Cassandra's feeble call, I warily kneel down in response. "Doctor, tell Rose," and as she breaks off coughing I feel a surge of anger that she thinks she has a right to say any words to Rose after what she has done.

It is an anger that drains away at her dying words.

"She was right, I had forgot what living was like, what it was like to love, but she and Chip showed me." With that, she closes her eyes and is gone. I can't help but agree with her; my Rose has a way of showing people what living really means.

As I hear the rattling of the doors, I am reminded that there are others that need that same understanding. I turn to take care of helping the infected and seeing that the Sisterhood is brought to justice for what they have done.

It is not an easy task getting around the infected in order to fill the disinfectant reservoirs with the substantial number of different IV's but it is all worth it as I watch them passing the cures on, freeing themselves of a lifetime of illness.

It will be interesting to see what this new strain of humans does with their newly won freedom. It is obvious, out of necessity; they have developed powerful telepathic abilities to stage the escape they have, acting like a large pack in coordination. I will have to stop back sometime to see what becomes of them.

For now, I have again a family who needs me.

* * *

As Theta enters my walls with Rose, I feel a monumental flood of relief as the link between Rose and I reestablishes, leaving me with a disconcerting sense of being fragmented. I realize how in my desperation to protect Rose I had actually supplanted her in her body, splintering off a piece of my mind as a protector for her. At the same time I had completely transferred her consciousness, instead of what I had intended, which was a to make a copy. As I scan her body, I can see the neural bruising she has taken, and it doesn't surprise me that her body has not regained consciousness after this additional trauma.

'We're going to be okay aren't we?' Comes the timid voice of the once human consciousness I am sheltering.

'Yes, dear one, all will be well. Your body needs some rest but we will soon be just fine.'

I wash her mind with reassurance knowing already that once we move into the vortex again I don't intend on shifting for a while; too many bad things seem to happen to these two outside my walls. Rose has undergone far more mental trauma recently than most could handle and we all need some time to get used to the changes. It's a good thing that Rose is so resilient. It's obvious now why the Guardian wanted her for us; in spite of my initial doubts about her suitability as a mate for Theta. Little did I know then that she would be more than just a mate for him but for me as well, for our joining has completed me in ways I had never guessed would be possible. This is why it is so critical that nothing else be allowed to happen to our precious one.

'Verity?'

'Yes?'

'What are you thinking? You're so quiet, what are you not telling me?'

'I'm thinking of a lot of things, Rose - the past, the future, how much things have changed...' At her spike of anxiety, I reassure her. '…and how it is so much better with you here, in spite of your constant yelling.'

'I don't mean to, you know,' is her sheepish reply.

'I know you don't, it will just take practice for you to be able to be quiet - humans are a very noisy lot and most of the time it is easier just to tune you out.'

'Just not quite as easy with me in your head though, is it?'

'No,' I agree reluctantly. 'Not quite as easy, but I know it will take you time to unlearn the habits of a lifetime and Theta and I will be here to help you. For now you need to go back to your own body to properly heal.'

I gently push her consciousness toward her sleeping body and feel the shift as she slides into her proper space.

* * *

I slip away while no one is paying attention. They don't need me here any longer and I need to be back at the TARDIS. Verity has assured me Rose is fine but I need to see for myself, to look into her eyes and see her looking back. Even though I can feel her steady presence in the back of my mind, I resist reaching for her as she has already had so much she has had to cope with over these last few days. As I enter, I feel Verity's warm welcome and reach out to her.

'Verity, how is Rose?'

'Resting.'

'How is Rose?' I ask again at her vague response, a spark of concern flaring at her deliberately obtuse answer.

'She is fine, Theta! There has been some synaptic bruising, but nothing that will not heal quickly with some rest.'

At her words, I know I need to examine her myself. It is not that I do not believe Verity, but I need to see for myself that Rose is well, to reassure myself she is safe and will experience no lasting harm from this incident. I sense Verity's understanding and comfort even as I move to the medical area and feel a pang of regret as I see Rose's still form. I should have realized sooner that something was wrong.

* * *

I feel his anxiety and see brief images flash through his mind of some of the others he has brought here where things did not turn out nearly as well and I know I need to distract him. 'Theta, she is fine. Run your tests, reassure yourself, then take her to your room. I am sure you both will be far more comfortable there.'

The look of anxiety does not leave his face as he works and I silently urge him to move faster. I know as long as they are within the walls of the medical area he will not relax. He too was possessed by Cassandra, even if it was for a considerably shorter time, and he needs to rest. Ever since he was possessed by the spider queen, being held captive in his own body has held a special kind of terror for him. Since then, he has associated possession with the regeneration he had to endure not long after, and none of his regenerations to date has gone smoothly.


	19. A Time to Rest

A/N: Thank you to my dear reviewer MythStar Black Dragon and for the Story favorite by Millenia-the-wings-of-valmar

* * *

Part 4 Chapter 19 -A Time to Rest

I wake slowly and wonder what double-decker I was hit by. Oh my head hurts! I haven't felt this looped since… Hmmm, well not sure when, but at least I'm warm and the steady beat of his hearts is soothing in my ear, luring me back to sleep. Hearts! Doctor! I jolt to alertness and stare down into beautiful blue eyes filled with mirth.

"Yup, that's me," he announces, obviously pleased.

Never have his features been such a welcome sight, but as all the memories of the last twenty-four hours come rushing back, with them comes a intensifying of the pounding of my skull. I see him wince in pain, realizing as he does that I must be projecting. I try to concentrate and stop, which only seems to make things worse. I scrunch my eyes shut trying to reduce the effect, even as I feel him begin to move.

"Don't leave," is all I can whisper over the roaring in my head as I hold on desperately to his waist.

"Not going far, just to get you something for the pain."

With that assurance, I loosen my grip and I am thankful that he doesn't jostle the bed much as I feel a wave of pain induced nausea strike. A brief moment later, I feel something cool on my neck and even before I can react to the unexpected touch, I am feeling the effect as the blazing pain drops to a dull ache. At the dramatic reduction, I open my eyes to his concerned expression and realize in that same moment that I can hardly feel either him or Verity.

"Better?"

"Yes." I pause for a moment, trying to figure out exactly how to say it, "but I can't feel you very well… " I gently touch the side of my still aching head, "…here."

His sheepish expression provides explanation even before he starts to speak. "Yeah, well, kind of a side effect of the medication I gave you. It slows the synaptic activity of certain areas of the brain."

"But…"

"It's only temporary, just to give your brain a bit of a rest after Cassandra's stomping around in there." The expression on his face is so sincere and concerned that I can't bear to stay mad at him for not warning me first.

At that I feel a wave of comfort from Verity, which is quickly followed by a short burst of pain, and I realize he's right. "You sure this isn't going to hurt Verity?" His look of surprise is too sweet.

"She says it won't," he assures me with a gentle smile. "Just give your brain a bit of a rest."

"Not exactly how I envisioned my honeymoon," I tease without thinking and immediately regret it as I see the wave of guilt cascade across his features before he quickly looks away and starts to rise.

"Doctor," I say, grabbing his hand, when he doesn't look at me I add "Thete, please." At the sound of his more private name aloud, he looks back to me. "It's okay, really, I'm all right and I wouldn't trade one minute with you for some childhood fantasy."

With that, he cups my face in his hand and gently kisses my forehead. "Rest now, I will make us something to eat." With that, he pulls away and slips out the door into the hall before I can say another word.

I want to cry because I know that in spite of my words he still thinks he has let me down. I know enough from Verity's memories and my own experiences that chasing after him would be futile. It would just make him feel guiltier if I were to aggravate my headache, which even with the stuff he gave me is still pounding. I try to do as he asked and rest, but as I lay here, I can't help feeling lost. I realize, with a bit of surprise, I already have come to find comfort at knowing that Verity is always there in my head. It feels odd not to be able to reach out and sense her comforting presence in my mind as easily. I don't know how he can stand it - I imagine this is what he felt with all of the Time Lords gone, only millions and millions of times worse. I understand even more now why he took the desperate action he did, resulting in this his ninth form. At that thought, I hug his pillow to me and cry for all the unfair things he has had to endure, wishing it were him I was holding instead.

*****************

She doesn't blame me for what happened with Cassandra, neither of them does, and somehow that makes it worse. I wanted this to be fun and romantic, take her to see how the humans have changed and yet stayed the same. Well I guess I did the latter, but no woman wants to go on her honeymoon and almost be crushed to death in her own head! Married less than forty-eight hours, and the first place I take her nearly gets her killed; what does that say about the kind of husband and protector I am going to be? A damn poor one so far!

'Theta, you need to quit beating yourself up over this,' comes Verity's mental caress.

'I'm not,' I try to deny, knowing I have shielded my thoughts well enough that she hasn't heard them and has to be guessing.

I am met with her disapproval at the lie.

'Well not too much,' I temper and even though I can feel she doesn't believe me, she doesn't call me on it further.

'You know, you couldn't have known Cassandra was lying in wait for us.'

'Yes, but I didn't have to take you right into her clutches either!'

At that, we both break off the conversation as we feel a wave of distress from Rose. Leaving the sandwiches I had begun to prepare, I head for our bedroom.

As I enter I see her curled around my pillow and immediately smell the salt of her tears even before I hear her small snuffle.

"Rose, what's the matter? Are you hurting someplace?" I ask even as I begin to scan her with the sonic screwdriver trying to find the source of her distress.

What I don't expect is to suddenly have my arms full of her soft form.

"I'm so sorry," are her soft, distressed, words in my ear.

"Oh Rose..." is all I can choke out through the sudden tide of emotion that threatens to swamp me. I hold her tighter to me and gently soothe her until her tears stop. I know part of what I am feeling is her broadcasting but I am a bit surprised at the depth of her distress and I can't allow that.

"Told you not to wander, didn't I? You and your human ways," I tease.

"Oi, not human any more, you! And don't be thinking just because I was I will be following you like you know it all! Someone's got to keep you out of trouble," is her indignant response and can't help but smile, as I know she has understood my desire to see her less upset.

"So, are you feeling up to eating something?"

* * *

Sitting here in the library helps, as it's quieter here. Verity is keeping down most of the noise in my head and I am glad for the respite. It's been one week, one of the longest weeks of my life, well in one way this last week has been my whole life if I figure in that I was 'born' at it's beginning. Weird idea being born a 20 year old, but it's no weirder than the circumstances under which it happened.

In one way, I died last week, and that's an even weirder thought to get my mind around. I remember dying and the pain, before Verity finished moving me into her mind for the first time. I remember knowing I knew everything for a time as we became Bad Wolf, but that part is like a dream that on waking you remember only small bits of, I wonder what that will mean for us in the future. The important thing, though, is that it means we have a future - Verity, Thete and I - we have a future together. Not the short scrap of time that would have been my human lifespan, but a true future where I don't have to leave the Doctor behind to have to go on alone without anyone to hold on too. True, Verity would have cared for him as best she could but we both know he needs a hand to hold and until this last week Verity didn't have those.

I look at my hands, and I know that they are no longer just mine and that in no way am I sorry about that or this path we have taken together. I regret nothing, but nevertheless, it's just weird sitting here, in the library. This used to be the quietest place of the ship and yet, now, I can now hear so much. That is just the beginning, of course - even with my eyes closed, I can still 'see' more than I ever did when I was a human with my eyes wide open. There are so many senses I don't even have the words to describe, so much I have to learn about who and what I am now.

In one way it irritated me when Verity announced a little while ago we would be staying in the Vortex a couple of weeks, in another I'm glad as it means that I don't have to deal with anything other than just being this new me, in these new bodies, and with this new relationship between the three of us. It is, on balance, quite enough to deal with for the time being.

There are so many things, too many things, going through my mind these days but, try as I might to still my racing thoughts, things just seem to get worse. The tick of a clock is so loud, the sensation of doing dozens of different things at once, the knowledge that each action creates a possible future and another and another, as I consider the possibilities of what I might do next. Then there are all the sensations I am getting from Verity's 'body' - the temporal flux of the vortex against my skin, the swirl of being on the edge of everywhere and yet nowhere all at the same time, falling and flying. Colors I can't describe, sensations that make my skin crawl, hot, cold, dizzy - so much, too much!

"Rose!"

Suddenly he is here, shaking me, forcing me to look at him.

-------------------

I wasn't amused at Verity's ultimatum that we were not moving out of the vortex for at least another two weeks, until she made me see what was happening with Rose. When she drew me into her mind and showed me what she has had to deal with this week - every thought, sensation, every memory Rose had was being broadcast into her mind without filtering. Not only that, but she was having to actively block out the sensations of at least half of Rose's extended senses to keep her from being driven mad by the sensory overload that her mind was not yet ready to deal with. Even as Verity is showing me this we are suddenly surrounded by Rose's feelings of panic and before I hear her first terrified screams I am moving to her side.

Her fear claws at my mind, and makes me to, wish to scream. Grabbing her arms to help ground her, I gently shake her.

"Rose! Rose!"

It is not until I have said her name a third time that her eyes open and begin to focus. In an instant she is clinging to me desperately, sobbing, her hands clutching the lapels of my of my jacket so hard that I am glad they are made of leather and not cloth since I am sure she would be shredding them otherwise.

"Rose, look at me!" I insist. She slowly draws back from where she has burrowed her face in my chest and I note she is shaking, tears streaming down her face. Her eyes are glazed and she definitely appears to be going into shock. A moment later, she is shaking even harder and is coughing out small clouds of gold mist-like material that I would know anywhere - vortex energy!

As she stops coughing, her eyes clear.

"Rose?" I whisper, afraid to speak any louder.

"That's not good is it?" Is her timid reply.

I can only shake my head in response as I pull her in to me, holding her still trembling form tight. As her shaking begins to lessen, I scoop her up and head for the medical area.


	20. Adjustments

A/N: A quick thanks for the review by MythStar Black Dragon and a story alert by BadWolfRising

* * *

Chapter 20 -Adjustments

"It says I'm fine, Doctor!"

"But it's not normal to have so much extra vortex energy in your system!"

"But I'm fine! Verity, tell him I'm fine!"

'You're both correct - it is not normal for a Time Lord or Lady to have the surplus energy you have in your system, but you do seem to be fine."

"Then why did her senses overload?" he demands with equal parts irritation and concern.

'I'm not sure,' is Verity's hesitant reply.

"That's why we need more tests!" he announces, as if vindicated in his assessment.

'She's hungry, Theta,' she states at the exact moment I say, "I'm hungry," and I can't help the amusement that this causes me at his sour expression at realizing he's out numbered.

I watch as he looks first to me then at the ceiling a moment before rolling his eyes and conceding reluctantly, "Fine, after you eat then."

Then it's my turn to glare, but I know it's the best I'm going to get right now.

* * *

As they head to the kitchen I try to reassure him, 'Theta, she really is fine, in fact better than fine...'

'What do you mean, better than fine?' comes his suspicious question.

I pause for a moment, double-checking the scans we did when she first had the problems with her regeneration. 'I mean that the damage that Cassandra did has been repaired, and it actually appears her mind has healed better than it was before. There are new connections that I suspect will give her better control of her psychic abilities and which take into account our three way bonding. Already she seems to be able to handle more of the sensory input than she has all week.'

'But that's impossible!' He stops cold in the hall, boggling at the ramifications.

"Doctor?" comes Rose's concerned question.

'What have I told you about that word?' I ask in exasperation. 'Now explain to Rose, you have worried her.'

* * *

It's been hours that he has been poking and prodding me, and not in a good way. I know he is trying to figure out what caused the episode in the library, but I really am getting tired of this. I feel fine now, other than a bit hungry because we missed lunch. I want to know what happened too but him running test after test isn't getting us anywhere. As he stops abruptly in the hall with a boggled expression on his face I have to wonder what it is that he has thought of that has him so concerned, and I wonder if Verity has told him something she didn't think she needed to share with me.

'Now Rose, don't be that way! I just realized it while I was trying to reassure him you were okay.'

'Well, what is it then?'

"Yes, fine," Comes the Doctor's reply to my concerned query. "Just Verity told me something…"

"Yeah, got it," I reply and he gives me the irritated look he gives whenever I interrupt him, "but what does it mean, other than that I won't be having any more of the headaches I've had since Cassandra's visit?"

"Besides it being impossible?"

"Seems to me a lot of impossible things tend to happen around you!" I state, bumping his shoulder. My stomach growls, interrupting our banter, and I head to the kitchen resolutely – I need food!

"Yes well, impossible or not Rose, most people's brains don't rewire themselves," He mumbled stubbornly, following in my wake.

"I thought we had kind of established I'm not most people," I retort over my shoulder. "Most people aren't born at 20 years old, or have their body built by a time ship/human hybrid and, most importantly, most people don't get to have a sexy Time Lord in their life."

With that I still his protests in the most effective way I have found to date; I swing round and kiss him soundly, snuggling into his arms as they come up to hold me to him.

I love the smell of him - cinnamon, honey, leather, and oil, they blend to make the indefinable scent that is purely his. Even if this body lives to be as old as Verity's is now, I don't think I will ever grow tired of cuddling next to him, breathing him in, and I can feel Verity's agreement.

When I release him and we enter the kitchen, I find on the table a few of the things that I have found, this week, that I like. I wonder how long it will be before I forget what so many of these foods used to taste like. I guess it really doesn't matter, as I will never be able to taste things that way again.

As I tuck in to the food Verity has provided I eventually notice that the Doctor is watching me as if he is afraid that I will vanish if he takes his eyes off me even for a moment. As he clocks my scrutiny, I see his eyes slide away guiltily and I have a feeling he is thinking about the Game Station and how I had just disappeared right in front of him from out of the main control room.

"You know I'm not going to disappear, don't you?" I ask conversationally as he moves away to make some tea. "It was the vortex storm that we got caught in before Japan that caused the shields to be damaged enough so that the Game Station could snatch us," I remind him.

"Yes."

Even without using Verity's senses and seeing the sober distressed expression he is wearing, I can see that he has gone very still and I know I have to do something to snap him out of this mood. I go to him, hugging him from behind for a moment before he turns and pulls me tight against him. For long moments, we stand together and I can feel the turmoil of his emotions boiling through the link we share. I don't push him to talk about it, though - we both know what he has lost and his fears of losing yet more. Some things cannot be helped by talking about them. I feel the exact second he stuffs those feelings away and I begin to draw back.

"So, you ready for those tests?" he asks with far more cheer than any of us are feeling right now.

"No, but I guess if I am going to keep being 'impossible' we should know what I'm doing," I reply, teasing him again about his fondness for describing the obviously possible with that word. I feel relief at his genuine smile.

"Well, come on then, you impossible beauty," he says as he holds out his hand, our fingers intertwining, in their usual manner, without a thought as I follow him from the room.

* * *

In reviewing the information, every test I ran kept coming up normal except for the one reoccurring theme, too much Vortex energy. It didn't seem to be hurting her, but the episode in the library has scared me far more than I wish to admit. Verity made it abundantly clear before she had cried out that Rose was not coping with the levels of information well and that she would need to be trained how to handle her new abilities. It's not exactly a mystery why; she has gone from having only five senses to that of a Time Lady and then beyond that to encompass Verity's TARDIS senses; she needs time to adjust. Time, which I have a horrible feeling we don't have in abundance, in spite of her changes.

When they finally call a halt for lunch I feel like I have not made any progress at all toward finding out what went wrong and then comes Verity's revelations in the hall and I don't know what to think.

I try to figure out what it all means as Rose eats. She looks so very young, and I remember all too clearly the expression of terror on her face as she was snatched from us by the Game Station. I don't know if I could take something like that happening again, not now, not after what they have given up to share a future with me. As she catches me staring, I know I need to think about something else, anything else, and I move to make some tea.

Her comment with regard to the Game Station has to be an educated guess. As she says it, I acknowledge that there was something about that storm, before Japan, that didn't feel right; it was too conveniently timed to ensure that Verity couldn't stop the transmat beam. As she slides her arms around me, I know I have to find a way to keep her safe, whatever the cause of these strange events, and I grip her tighter to me.

Her warmth against me lessens my fear and slowly sense returns and I realize that, before anything else, we must find out what is causing Rose to retain all of the extra energy.

Initially, I had figured that her problems were simply regeneration sickness and that the excess energy was residual and would fade with time. The readings, however, have barely changed at all since that last set of scans we did a week ago - if anything they have increased and that is very disturbing. Suddenly I have a suspicion and need to check it out.

"Rose, I need you do something for me."

"What?" The look of trust she gives me almost breaks my hearts.

"What were you were doing in the library right before you started to feel bad?"

"I was just sitting thinking about what I could sense now that I couldn't feel before."

I had a feeling that was what she had been doing as Verity and I had been examining the interface between the two of them. I wonder if this may be somehow planned, that this extra energy is to complete her change, a change that they have informed me I interrupted at the Game Station.

"I would like you to do the same thing now," I tell her, instantly feeling a sense of unease coming from her. "Both Verity and I will be right here in case you need us. I just want to see if what I am going to try can reduce the extra energy."

"Okay."

As she closes her eyes, I reach out with my own senses to see if I can detect anything unusual happening, as Verity watches the readings from the instruments and the psychic bridge between the two of them.

'Verity, I want you to, ever so slowly, unblock her extended senses one at a time.'

"Rose, you may feel something happening. I need you to try to relax." With that, I take her hands in mine. "If you start to feel overwhelmed I need you to squeeze my hands and we will stop."

"'kay"

With that, I close my eyes and concentrate on her and any sensations I can get without actually entering her mind. As I feel Verity start to shift the first of the mental blocks she had shown me earlier, I feel Rose's breath catch and Verity pause.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just feels a bit weird - like a door opening, but I'm not sure to what."

"You know Verity has been shielding your mind since your run in with Cassandra, right?"

"Yes, something about neural overload."

"Well, we're going to see if, since your brain changed as it healed, it can handle the additional information now. As we do this, you're going to start feeling things you may not have ever felt before. You okay with that?"

"I guess."

"That's my girl. Just remember, we're both here and you just need to squeeze my hands if you need us to stop."

"'kay." I can hear the hesitancy in her voice but I can also feel her determination not to be a burden on Verity, and so we begin again.

As the first block slides away I can feel her breathing become more rapid and the beat of her hearts increase, but other than that, there are no indicators that something has changed. As we pause, both begin to return to normal.

As the Verity begins to move the next block, suddenly Rose is practically crushing my hands and has begun to shake. I feel Verity try to move it back even as my eyes snap open to check on and reassure Rose. What I come face to face with is her amber glowing eyes. "Verity, put it back!" I scream mentally, even as I reiterate it aloud. The voice that answers is not Verity's but what I instinctively know is my Bad Wolf. 'No,' is the message received from both of them. A moment longer her eyes continue to glow fiercely, then Rose is slumping forward into my arms and I feel a burst of terror as I realize how shallowly she is breathing.

"What did you do?" I ask, unsure which of them I expect to answer.

'What was necessary, she needed to move forward a bit more, but for now she needs to rest,' comes Verity's tired sounding reply.

"What do mean, needed to move forward?" I ask as fear makes my hearts pound like wild things in my chest. Verity's lack of response does nothing to reassure me and as the lights drop to subsistence power levels, I feel that she too is now unconscious, which is a very odd feeling as it happens so rarely.


	21. More Changes

A/N: Much thanks to my reviewers MythStar Black Dragon & SciFiGeek14

* * *

Chapter 21 -More Changes

I gently lay Rose's limp form back onto the bed she was sitting on and check her readings again; normal with the exception of the higher levels of vortex energy I have been looking at all morning. With both of them out, I am unsure what to do other than try to make her comfortable. I don't like any of this but there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about what is happening either. I can only hope that, as it was the Bad Wolf that responded, it means this was something they planned to occur.

When they wake, hopefully, they will have some answers to what is going on with them, in the mean time I am stuck waiting. I hate waiting.

As if that thought was some kind of cue, Rose gasps and the lights return to normal, a second later her panic hits me like a train and I have to throw up mental shields in defense.

"Rose!" I call to her even as I sit on the bed pulling her into my arms. It takes but a half second for her to begin clinging to me; like her life depends on my touch. As I commence to gently rock her and try to soothe her obvious distress, I feel Verity's clamor to contact my mind.

'What did you do to her?' is my first demand and feel only confusion as a response. I realize with that no answers will be forthcoming immediately from either of them as I clearly feel Verity needs comfort and reassurance as much as Rose does. I still remember all too vividly the last time she was this distraught with a wash of guilt, because it was my fault then as well. Suddenly I find myself on the receiving end of her comforting as her love washes over me and I feel worse knowing how little I deserve their love.

I jerk in surprise at Rose's soft words in my ear, "She forgave you a long time ago for that you know, she understands much better now."

In surprise at her words, I try to lean back so I can look Rose in the face, and she moans in anguish and buries her nose in the crook of my neck. "Rose, what's the matter?"

"Too much, everything keeps moving, but your safe, still"

"Rose can I see? I might..." my words trail off, stunned at her trust, as she throws open her mind to me. It is obvious what has her so upset, as I see dozen and dozens of potential timelines flickering in and out of existence around her. I recognize immediately what it is she is seeing, because this has been a steady constant all my life and I feel her relief at my recognition.

'It's okay, I know it's a bit overwhelming now, but you will get use to it and it will fade to a background awareness, much as your sense of smell was previously. When you need it, it will be there, but the rest of the time you will ignore it.'

'How?' comes her almost desperate cry then her confused statement, 'and why is it so calm around you? It's almost like you're the eye of a storm, but just a little way away there are thousands of lines tangled around you.'

Even as she is speaking, she is leaning back a tiny bit, her eyes unfocused as she stares around her, completely focused on her new vision.

'Oncoming Storm, me.'

'Is this what the Daleks see when they look at you?' comes her uncensored thought, immediately followed by her regret at mentioning those evil creatures as she feels me bristle.

Tamping down my reaction, I answer her the best I can. 'I don't think there is anyone other than the Time Lords that ever saw quite the way we do. There is a reason we are called that you know.'

With that, I feel her lay her head back on my shoulder, 'there is so much more to it than that as well.' With her words, I feel her discouragement. 'So very much yet to learn.'

"Yes, but you won't be facing it alone Rose, I'm here, Verity's here, we will get though this together", as I quietly reassure her, I also feel Verity encouraging her as well and I have to wonder what I was thinking taking us anywhere so soon after such a radical change for her.

As I feel her slide again into sleep I continue to hold her to me, unwilling to be parted from her even the small amount that it will require to pick her up and take her someplace where we can be more comfortable.

'Go Theta, she will be all right, she just needs to sleep for a time to give her system a chance to deal with the new changes.'

'What's happening to her Verity? What's happening to both of you?' What I don't say, what I can barely even think about is what I would do if I were to lose either of them.

'Were changing… adapting. I… I can't explain why, I just know this is what needs to happen.' With the sound of worry and concern in her mental voice that is usually so self assured I know I have to reach out her as I haven't done since before we met Rose. I close my eyes, even as I pull their physical body closer.

The landscape is one we are both familiar with, one we built long ago together. It is a garden and even as I approach, she is already there, my beautiful brown-haired golden-eyed girl. A blue check blanket is spread out on the red grass near a stone bench. As usual, she is sitting on the blanket leaning back against the bench. I had forgotten how beautiful she is in this form, but as I approach I see that she has made changes and now her features have changed somewhat, and have taken on more of Rose's physical characteristics, somehow melding the best of both. Her hair is lighter brown now, and I can tell she is a bit shorter than the last time I saw her. As always, though, she is wearing a TARDIS-blue sundress and her feet are bare. I asked her once why she never chose to have shoes and she just smiled and never did tell me.

As I approach, her eyes are closed as if in rest, but I know that here it is but an affectation, as is all that surrounds us. 'I wondered if you would come,' she states quietly.

'Why should I not, it was obvious you were upset, and it has been too long since last we spoke face to face.'

With that, she opens her eyes and peers up at me. 'Yes, it has been, far too long.' With that, she pats the blanket next to her. 'Sit with me for awhile?'

I sit, taking off my leather jacket and pulling off my boots, putting them aside as I would if we were truly just two people sitting in a garden. As I sit down next to her, she reaches out and intertwines our fingers, just as Rose and I so often do, looking at them for a moment with a thoughtful expression on her face.

'What?'

'Just that for so long I was jealous of them, being able to do this simple thing; just to be able to reach out and hold your hand.'

'I never knew. I'm sorry Verity.'

The look she gives me is soulful, the swirl of her golden pupils dark, somehow conveying a deep abiding sadness. 'I never meant for you to know, you already carry the weight of the universe on your shoulders I couldn't bare to add to that, but it's all different now,' she finishes wistfully.

I gently touch her face. 'I have never meant to hurt you. Yet not once have I asked if you were okay with this joining. I have been so enamored with the idea of not being alone; I have forgotten how alone you must feel. I, at least, had the humans to keep me company, you have had no one other than my poor company.' I pause the words seem so inadequate but they are hearts-felt nonetheless. 'I am so very sorry.'

Her reply is both tender and earnest as she turns and meets my gaze. 'My precious Theta, I wouldn't trade this for anything. She is good for you, good for both of us. Never would I have known what it was like to feel your touch as I have this week, to truly know what it means to be your lover. I have so wanted to hold you so many times, and now I can. She completes us both Theta, in ways I always dreamed of and ways I never thought I needed. I have known for so very long how much you needed someone.'

As I open my mouth to object, she gently places her finger on my lips. 'Even when you didn't think you needed anyone, that you would be better off alone, I knew and regretted that it couldn't be me. Now it can be, and it is such a small price to have to share you with Rose. She loves you, perhaps even more than I do.'

'Thank you. I don't deserve you. You know, I don't deserve either of you and yet you love me anyway.' With that, I hug her tightly to me and for long minutes we just sit snuggled together beneath an orange sky neither of shall every see again outside the walls of our minds.

Slowly she draws back. 'You should go now, Theta. Neither of our bodies are comfortable like this, bring us to bed where we all can rest easier.'

With that, I find myself once again in the medical area hunched over and around Rose and Verity's body. With as little disruption as I can, I shift us from the bed, smiling as I hear Rose mumble my name in her sleep and I carry their sleeping form to our room.

Slowly I undress her the rest of the way and follow suit in shedding my own clothing. I know I may be taking liberties a bit, but I know she generally feels more comfortable when she doesn't sleep in her clothing and right now I very much want to be as close to her as I can. As I crawl into the bed, she immediately snuggles into my side, reaching for me in her sleep.

As I lay with her soft form molded against me, I breathe deep her scent and sigh in contentment.

'This is so much better, and yes if she were awake she would agree with you. Clothing in bed is for when you must sleep alone or in a strange place, not for when you sleep in the arms of your lover.'

I smile at that thought and pull her that much closer to me, gently kissing her forehead. As I pull back a bit, I am surprised to see her eyes open and watching me.

"It's not like I don't have a bit of say in that matter too you know." Come her quietly whispered words.

"Verity?"

The smile she gives me in return is pure mischief. "I may not have the hang of much in this body, but I did learn a couple of things with our run in with Cassandra."

"Is… will…" I'm suddenly boggling as I realize that right now Verity has control of Rose's body.

"It's all right Theta. We have talked about this, she knows. When she wakes ask her."

"But shouldn't she be resting?"

"Yes and we will be in a moment. I just wanted you to know, to really understand how much we share. When you touch her, you're touching me, as much as when you touch my console or caress my walls you are touching her. She may not be able to cope with all of our senses yet, but in time she will. She is changing Theta, we are changing, adapting," and with that she puts her head down again on my shoulder gently squeezing my waist. 'But what will never change is our love for you, so sleep my love.'

With that, I feel her body again relax into full unconsciousness and watch as the lights dim to night cycle lighting. For long hours, I can do nothing but lie and think on her words and what they will mean for our future as my ladies sleep.


	22. Love and Stability

Chapter 4.22 -Love and Stability

I instantly wake to his strangled scream of suffering and I am pulling him close, holding him to me to try to ease the torment his nightmares have caused. I know he is awake, even though he says not a word, driven from his rest by nightmares even as his desperate cries have woken me. His body is again cold, clammy from the sweat generated by his nightmare, and I am worried about him.

It has been a week and a half since the incident in the library and he has slept very little, as each time he has dosed off, I am drawn to his cries not long after. He refuses to speak of them claiming he's fine in spite of the exhaustion I can feel coming from him. I know he goes through phases like this, has done since the war and it's not as if it is any big mystery what has started this most recent stretch. Yet, even in the face of all this he, well actually they both have been extremely patient with me. Each day my senses seem be expanding and I have been working with them to try to get better at my control. The oddest parts of my training are those times when Verity and I swap control over our bodies. At first it was terrifying even the prospect of her taking control and manipulating my limbs and I could tell in spite of her reassurances that she too has had similar moments of panic when I would move a room or flip switches on the control column. She is used to Thete manipulating her controls externally, but the feeling of me doing so from inside her mind at times sends her into fits, even as the reverse has been true as she moves my body. Through it all, he has been our anchor, reassuring and soothing our anxieties even as we try to his. However, he is so stubborn refusing to speak with us regarding what exactly is bothering him.

It really is little wonder that his own demons raise their ugly heads as he attempts to rest as he spends so much of his waking time dealing with ours. I know it is a misplaced sense that he needs to shelter and protect us that causes his reticence. ooh nice word that, reticence. It really is odd how even as I am thinking in the privacy of my own thoughts, words that were not in my usual vocabulary before are slipping in from hers. It's not just the Gallifreyan ones describing senses that humans don't even have, but English ones and the random words from languages I know I have never learned.

I feel him squirm in my arms and I realize that I have become, yet again lost in my own head, which is so very easy to do these days. 'Sorry' I state as I release him. With a fleeting brush of his fingers across my cheek, he turns and quickly vanishes into the ensuite to shower.

* * *

I know I should say something, I can feel her worry for me but right now I feel so exposed and in some ways this being who I have tied my life to is a complete mystery. It is becoming very clear to me, she truly is not just Rose or just Verity any longer but is daily becoming an amalgam of them both and it terrifies me. I know it shouldn't, I can feel how intensely they love me, but that is part of the problem. It scares me that I will fail them, fail to be what they need me to be, fail to protect them when they most need me and they will consequently hate me. I don't know if I could take them hating me, how pathetic that sounds. Time Lords shouldn't need anyone as much as I need these two. That too scares me, not that they would every use that against me, but that if anything should happen to them I know it would well and truly destroy me.

As I lay my head on the wall of the shower, I wish that I could just reach out and let Verity comfort me as she has done now for centuries. Somehow, that seems wrong now; to burden her with this when she has so much she has to deal with already trying to come to terms with this sharing between her and Rose particularly since it wouldn't have happened if it weren't for my selfishness. Verity has always been the strong one, been the one who holds it together in the face of the worst circumstances imaginable. Even when I finally shattered beneath the pressure, she was there picking up the pieces. Feeling her so unsure of her self, feeling her fear at losing control of her body to Rose is unnerving. I need to be strong for them both right now but it is so hard, and I am so very tired. Verity would probably be horrified if she knew how much her confession in the garden has disturbed me. Never have I wanted to hurt her while I was in my right mind, and the thoughts I had in my madness after the war still bring me shame, as she didn't deserve any of my fury. It still amazes me that she would still care after all the abuse I heaped on her over keeping me alive.

I jump as I feel Rose's hand gently touch my shoulder and before I can turn, she has molded herself to my back as if knowing how difficult it would be for me to face her right now. I close my eyes and tip my head back to shield her from the water's spray as she places her cheek on my shoulder, the feel of her soft hands spread over my hearts reminds me how much they belong to these two beautiful women. For long moments, we stand cocooned in the warmth of the shower and each other's presence and I soak in the comfort they are offering. With time, though I can no longer just let her comfort me and gently turn to face her. The look in her golden brown eyes tells me of her concern and I admit to that which I am aware she already knows. "I'm tired."

"I know. Let me in Doctor; let me guard your sleep as you used to do. You have been so distant recently."

"Been right here." I state, avoiding the issue she is trying to broach and know I dare not look her in the eye as I do if I expect her to let it go.

Her reply makes it clear though that she doesn't intend to, "Physically, but you don't let me touch your mind as you did, why are you hiding? What are you trying to protect me from?"

"I…" taking a deep breath I try again, this time I open my mind to her. 'I just… you have so much to deal with right now'

'But keeping me out isn't good for you, isn't good for any of us, we need you Theta,' their impassioned entreaty breaks me and I hug her tightly to me.

A few moments later, she is squirming to get loose, and in my momentary surprise she scoots back grabbing my hand and leading me into the bedroom, first grabbing one towel then another on the way out. As we reenter the bedroom, she abruptly turns tossing one of the towels at me as she darts around me like a mischievous pixy. I stand bemused at her sudden change in attitude. I can't help the grin that spreads across my face as I reach for her, and she playfully darts away.

* * *

As he leaves for the shower, I feel like I have let him down by getting lost, and mentally babbling to myself as he needed my comfort. As Verity shares with me the image of him hunched forward head against the wall in the shower, I know I need to go to him. Too many times, we have seen that body language. We both know well how distraught he usually is when he is like this; just trying to let the shower wash away the stress in which he is drowning.

As he begins to let me lure him out of his depression, I decide it's time to remind him about the good parts about us being together. As we enter the bedroom, I begin to tease him and watch as his countenance is transformed by his enjoyment as he grin at my antics, as I can sense he is feeling better my hearts are much lightened for seeing his genuine smile. He is utterly gorgeous to me, and rarely is it more evident than when he is smiling

Him suddenly wearing that mischievous grin well what's a gal to do? So as I feel his determination to catch me, I know just what to do.

* * *

I know even more than Rose does how badly he reacts to isolation so when she goes to him I am fully in agreement with her about how much he needs this mental break. He may not consciously let me guard him from his nightmares but if we put our minds together, we can insure we wear him out enough that he at least will sleep dreamlessly. With that thought in mind, we comfort him. When he begins to smile at our teasing Rose comes up with a brilliant plan and as he tries to catch us Rose shouts "Last one to the pool is a rotten egg." and we take off running for the pool area leading him a merry chase through my corridors in the process.

* * *

I wake to find his body again curled around mine and I sigh in contentment as I see he is sleeping. The recent weeks have been a trial as my mind has been swamped with excess temporal energy, new senses and the most challenging of all, the sharing of minds and bodies with Verity. Too much to sort through, too much to function properly and his presence has been the life preserver to which my sanity has clung. I lie for a long time just soaking up the calm and quiet of only one time, only one space, the cacophony of psychic noise silent for a time as I have finally learned how to mostly block it out when I'm not distracted. At my back is the steady constant beat of his hearts comforting and reassuring. His arm and hand are draped lazily across my side and belly. I know now he is awake but I am content to just lie in his embrace even as he seems content just to hold me. So much noise, all I hear right now though is the quiet hum of the TARDIS around us knowing I can reach out and touch that part of what is now too my mind, but content for this moment to be just Rose, a once human consciousness in a Gallifreyan body. Sharing bodies with Verity has been an odd experience and that is the understatement of the millennium. I can, if I choose to, remember those companions Thete and Verity have traveled with, the loneliness when he would leave with them and the occasional pangs of jealously that they could hold his hand and run with him through his adventures. Yet, I also remember being a child tripping and scraping my knee and running to my mum for comfort and a plaster. Both sets of memories here at my mental fingertips, the memories of my human life and at the same time those memories of Verity and of growing up in the warm Gallifreyan suns and the adventures she has had with both her Time Lords. The most confusing memories are those since we began traveling together, and my perspective keeps switching randomly between the two, there are just so many, too many, memories all juggling for space.

Sensing my discord, he gently caresses my belly with his fingertips with just enough pressure to avoid tickling, knowing the sensation grounds me in this body, helps me focus. Yet, at the same time it also reminds me why this was necessary. The thought of losing him sends a chill down my spine and I roll toward his chest burying my face in the crook of his neck, breathing in the wonderful smell of him, a scent which like all my other senses has now become more defined sharpened by the changes. I concentrate on breathing, using the techniques he has been teaching me to harness my run away thoughts and chaotic mind. Sensing the conflict that at times borders on panic he gently caresses my back, comforting, soothing, helping me to relax again and for now that is more than enough.

Rest is not something that comes easy to either of us these days; he is plagued by the horrific nightmares of the war and being tortured even though he won't speak of them. I know though, when he next awakes screaming, it will be my turn to comfort him. Only time will heal those wounds but at least now, we have that time together, we can be strong for each other.


	23. Lessons

A/N: Many thanks to those who have reviewed and to Glacarius who add this as a favorite story.

* * *

Chapter 23 -Lessons

It's been a week now and meal times have become yet another kind of training lesson as he shows me how to figure out what my senses are telling me. I wonder what he is up to though as he insists that I stay here in the kitchen a bit longer and that he will be right back. Today I can tell is different, I sense from him an undercurrent of excitement, which I can't quite identify. 'What's he up to Verity?'

'You shall see.' she states and I get a smug feeling from her as well and wonder what they are planning. Sometimes I feel a bit resentful for their closeness and yet even as the feeling encroaches I ruthlessly shove it away. I know he needs us both but in far different ways. I also know she has had her moments when she was resentful of what I could do with Thete, things that she couldn't and now can as we share this body but it is something we both have acknowledged and have chosen to move beyond.

"Rose?" I snap to alertness and realize he has been calling my name, and I feel the flush of embarrassment color my cheeks.

"Yeah, sorry." I mumble in reply.

"We don't have to do this if you need a break…" and I see the concern and indecision on his face and all my previous thoughts are swept away.

"No, I'm fine just got preoccupied. It's all rather distracting still." His gentle smile that he seems to reserve just for me is a balm to my soul.

"Got a treat for you today."

What is he up to? Not like we have gone anywhere, I would have definitely noticed that, so what is he's planning? "You do?"

"Yes, I do." With that, he brings out a beautiful wide silk ribbon with opalescent tones. "But first you need to put this on."

"Okay, but…"

"It's a surprise!" and the look of anticipation and youthful excitement make it worth the restriction and with that I nod and he practically bounces around behind me to gently wrap the seemingly delicate fabric around my eyes. In moments, I find myself in complete blackness, far greater than what I had expected from such an insubstantial looking bit of silk. In reaction, I reach out to Verity's sensors to provide me the missing information.

"Now no peeking." he chides in my ear and the feel of his cool breath on my cheek makes me shiver, I give a small start as I realize what it was I was trying to do and shut off the video sensors in the room.

* * *

When Verity first informed me that the Vrijemetree would be bearing fruit soon, I was at first quite excited as it was so rare for them to do so, and the idea of sharing this exceptional treat with Rose was delightful. They were trees that were native to Gallifrey and were virtually impossible to grow anywhere else due to their need for a steady exposure to, and absorption of temporal energy as part of their maturation process. They were part of the earliest experiments into growing an organic housing in which to travel in time and space and as such were very distant cousins of the TARDIS'. Well in as much as one could say small furry mammals could be called cousins to humans.

It was for their fruit they were cultivated and prized. The ripe fruit had a unique effect on most Time Lord's senses, enhancing and for a time providing a hyper-awareness and an increased control over our natural temporal manipulation abilities.

On a young developing Gallifreyan physiology it would help set neural pathways into more efficient patterns and they were highly valued for aids in controlling the results of a planned regeneration. All of these thing made the timing perfect for helping Rose and Verity come to terms with their merging. I wonder how much of this was Bad Wolf planning and how much it might just be serendipity. Either way, I do not intend to let the opportunity to show her this slide.

But, as I see how confused she is in the kitchen I wonder if maybe it will be too much for her.

'She will be fine Theta.' comes Verity's gentle assurance even as Rose tells me she is okay. I smile with delight at their agreement and am a bit surprised as I feel Rose reach out to Verity when I cover her eyes and gently chide her about it when I suspect she isn't even aware she has done so, seconds later that suspicion is confirmed as she deliberately turns off the sensors in the kitchen.

* * *

"That's better. Now were going for a little walk" and I feel him encouraging me to stand. I wonder where he is taking me as he takes my hand guiding me from the room. As we move only a little way down to the next door, I realize I don't know what is behind this door even as a wonderful smell reaches my nose. It is unlike anything I can remember ever encountering before. There are the usual things that I know and the unique scent of cinnamon, honey, leather and machine oil that I have always associated with this Doctor but there is also this new smell that makes my mouth water with anticipation.

"What is that smell?" I can't resist asking as we enter what my ears tell me is a much larger space, a moment later I register it as having to be one of the gardens as I hear birdsong. Tezervariou, or Tez for short, large macaw-like birds and I suddenly know this isn't a garden I have entered before.

"You will see." Is his mysterious reply, and it takes me a second to realize he is replying to my question about the smell.

"Patience Rose it takes time to get used to thinking so many thoughts." he states and I realize I am projecting and I feel a wave of frustration building, I just can't seem to get this.

* * *

As I feel her surge of aggravation, I know I my plans need to wait a bit as it is obvious she needs reassurance from me not surprises. As I try to think of some analogy that will makes sense to her Verity proposes a suggestion. I gently remove the blindfold knowing how visually dependant Rose still is, and it's imperative she understand what she is trying to accomplish in days is what some Gallifreyans took years to master.

I mentally roll my eyes at Verity as her analogy falls flat and I instead use the one I had been thinking and feel her apologetic mental shrug.

My hearts ache as I see Rose's tears and I try again to help her understand even as I am surprised by where her mental wandering, she is still projecting at me, takes her.

* * *

At my reaction he stops, gently pulling the silk from my eyes. I blink at the sudden light and find myself staring into his intense blue eyes. "Tell me this Rose, would you hand a motorcycle to a five year old, and expect them to start it up and drive off?"

"No, don't be silly..."

"My point exactly."

"But I'm not a five year old and this isn't a motorcycle were talking about. This is my body, and mind!" I practically shout in my frustration.

"How long did it take you to learn to walk, to talk?"

"But that's different..."

"How is it different? You said it was your body and mind." There is an edge to his voice an intense urgency I don't hear often and I don't know what to say.

Sensing my confusion, as I look away, he saves me from having to answer by taking my face in his hands and gently making me look at him again. "Rose it takes years to fully discipline your mind to keep your thoughts to yourself. You can't expect everything overnight." and as he says that I feel him brush his thumb across my cheek wiping away a tear I hadn't even realized I had shed.

"I... I don't want too..."

"Rose you're not a disappointment. You never could be." With that, I am engulfed in a bear hug. "My precious beautiful Rose" he mumbles into my hair kissing the crown of my head and I burrow my face in to the cashmere like surface of his jumper.

I have always loved this material since the very first time Verity showed me selection she had acquired, but couldn't convince him to wear. So many of the "luxury" items she could provide he had denied himself, no longer feeling deserving of them. His bedroom was a prime example; before we had become lovers, he had been making do with something barely better than some of the prison cots we have had to share. When I had tried to bring it up, he bushed the concern away as him not needing better as he hardly slept. He deserves so much better than what I can give him.

I look up as I feel an intense wave of love wash over me from him and realize he must have heard all that as well and I blush embarrassed. "I hadn't meant..."

* * *

"It's okay Rose."

'He's right, you know. Were both here for you.' I hear Verity reassure her 'In fact once the synaptic changes stabilize then we can do a bit of brain buffing'.

'Verity!' I chastise as I suddenly feel Rose realize again her extreme youth in comparison to us.

"That anything like buffin' furniture" I hear Rose quip even though I know she already knows what Verity's talking about is the intensive learning programs Time Lords experienced when they were very young. I feel a rush of relief as I see her smile as Verity gives her a mental raspberry, and I go along and just roll my eyes.

As she states with a coy smile, "Now I believe someone promised me a treat." and thinks of something rather explicit as she pokes her tongue in the corner of her mouth, I am caught off guard and blush realizing it's time to go back to plan A.

* * *

"Yes, well that's not what I was thing of." He states looking a bit flustered and with that, he turns me around and replaces the blindfold. I shiver as a moment later he leans in close and whispers "maybe later though" before nipping my ear.

Before I can respond he is curling his arm around my waist and gently returning me to the direction we were previously heading. We move just a short way before he makes an abrupt left taking us off the path and on to a grassy lawn. The enticing scent I have smelled dramatically increasing.

"Doctor?" I ask as we halt and he suddenly moves away from me. A moment later he is directing me to a chair and I sit perplexed unsure what to expect next.

I start a bit as I hear his voice much deeper and clearly utilizing more than a human range as he purrs a word in my ear. A word that it takes me a moment to decipher as it is old high Gallifreyan. A word meaning experience, but with additional connotations indicating something rare, infrequent, ephemeral and at the same time involving all ones senses.

Then there comes an almost sound, tickling my expanded ranged of senses, a feeling I recognize as a temporal flux and at the same time growth.

As the nano-seconds tick by the smell that has been tantalizing me grows stronger and I can feel a temporal hum that seems to be growing, vibrating and tickling; like an itch, though highly pleasurable. I hold my breath in anticipation, of what I am not sure. Then I 'see' a small round globe about the size of a large grape hovering in front of me not with my eyes, but with senses I hadn't been aware of previously.

'What do you see Rose?' and as if waiting for his thoughts to trigger it, I feel the small globe of energy expand and create a ghost like image, first of his hand then in rapid progression spreading up his arm. The more I concentrate on what I am seeing the faster the movement of the energy is filling in more and more details, until standing before me is a golden vibrating image of my beloved Doctor. As I open my mind to show him what I am seeing, his image crackles and I see bands of temporal energy flowing around and through his ghostly image, roiling like a raging storm yet fully contained. As he steps closer, the energy again increases and I watch in riveted fascination as he extends the hand holding the globe bringing it closer to me.

I gasp, as the smell I had commented on previously grows stronger until it seems to envelope me. I stand feeling the need to get closer, to taste. At my unspoken desire, I feel Thete gently touch the small globe he is holding to my lips and my senses explode. Sight smell taste all combine with the temporal energy from the fruit to create an extravaganza of delightful sensations the likes of which I have never felt before. As he presses it into my mouth, everything again leaps to a new level of focus.

I begin to tremble with the intensity of the sensations and I hear his quiet command. 'Chew'

Without thinking, I obey, and energy bursts forth as I pierce the skin of the fruit. A split second later, his lips descend on mine in a most gentle and chaste kiss that results in me trembling in his arms as I feel the energy dissipating about us, and leaving me tingling all over.

A few moments pass where all I can do is cling to him, a taste the likes of which I could never describe lingering on my tongue. As I collect my scattered senses I feel him untie the blindfold I had forgotten I was wearing. I blink up at his twinkling blue eyes and smile at him.

"So you like my surprise?" He asks knowing full well the answer, and I nod mutely suddenly struggling to keep my eyes open. The last thing I am aware for a time is his quiet entreaty "Rest now my Love" as he scoops me up into his arms.

* * *

I have been watching carefully as she reacts to each new level of stimulus part fearful, but at the same time as fascinated as I can feel Verity is by her reactions. I know what my own experiences were like the first time I was introduced to Vrijemetree fruit and I am delighted to see how similar are our reactions. It is only as she bites down do I feel an increased concern as she begins to tremble and I feel Verity's reaction; and I move to siphon off the excess energy that is threatening to overwhelm their still fragile neural pathways intent on keeping this a positive experience for them both.

I smile as I ask the question though I can practically feel the pleasure flowing off her in waves and pull her to me as I feel her knees begin to buckle as her body processes the released energy putting her to sleep.


End file.
